Finding Normalcy
by Nature9000
Summary: After the abductions, Tori and her friends struggle to cope with the emotional trauma while Trina does her best to support Tori and her friends, while also balancing an apprenticeship as a cop. Soon it appears, the troubles may be far from over.
1. Everything's Changing

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N (Even if you never read author notes, READ THIS ONE): This IS a sequel to _Price of Desire_, and in order to read this story, you need to have read _Price_.

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Chapter 1 (Everything's Changing)

Three months after the tragedy, the middle of April, the community was starting to recover from the gang's attack. For many, the pain and the memories were glued into their heads. For Trina, Tori, and their friends, it would be practically impossible to forget. The Vega sisters were now living with their Aunt Sonya and Grandma Betty. Their cousin Arnold lived in a nearby downtown apartment, just a short walk.

Tori had found herself practically glued to her sister's hip, she didn't feel safe without knowing that Trina was somewhere nearby. Through her own determination and Trina's encouragement, she returned to school when the doors opened two weeks after everything cleared up and a new Superintendent had been chosen. Lane, still managing to survive his wounds, was now rotting in a jail cell, so clearly a new guidance counselor was there. Tori would visit her often, but she still felt uncomfortable without Trina there with her.

For the others, going back to school had been a hard choice to make. Robbie and Cat returned to school after about a month, and Jade only recently returned. Andre was still hospitalized and undergoing extensive physical therapy, but it was still said that he would never regain his ability to walk. Beck, now wore a black eye patch over his lost eye. He didn't talk much, none of them did. They still hung out from time to time, but if there was one thing they never talked about, it was their experience as hostages.

As for Trina, she was well on her way at getting an Associate Degree in Criminal Justice. Even Chief Michael took her under his wing to train her. He was showing her what police work was like, but she wasn't yet an official police officer, she still needed a little more education, but she was getting all the experience she needed, and was treated as though she were an apprentice, which meant she was making money to help take care of Tori. She actually had to get a gun license, having turned twenty on April 10th, and as an acting apprentice, she was allowed to carry one. The gun she wore around her hip with her police uniform was her father's, a constant memory and dedication to him.

She was still taking her martial arts classes, but per request of Tori, was spending more time with her, so she wasn't at the classes all day long. Her relationship with Jason was going strong, and Christy had decided to improve her mastery with a sword, only because she had a growing fascination with them. Other relationships had improved, such as Tori's friends looking to her with more respect than before. She was happy to have that respect, but she hated how it had to come to be.

Driving in her silver Nissan Altima, she rode past Hollywood Arts. College was over for the day, and she was thinking about paying Tori and her friends a visit. She parked her car in the lot and gazed out the window at the usual table that the friends always sat at. Her elbow hung from the open window and her eyes remained cloaked behind the black shades. She was wearing her uniform, as one of her classes had been doing something today which required the uniforms be worn.

At the table, the friends all were sitting nonchalantly in their typical seats, minus Andre of course. Her heart went out to them as she studied their pained, silent faces. Cat appeared to be trying to distract herself by drawing on paper. Beck and Jade were huddled together, but staring off into the distance. Beck's finger was slowly rubbing his eye patch. Robbie's arms were folded on the table and his eyes were staring at the bare skin, he looked to be choking back a sob. Tori was sipping soda with a straw and staring down at the table with a blank, exhausted expression.

It broke her heart seeing them like this, especially when they used to always be laughing and talking whenever she passed. This was a difficult thing to get used to, and she did understand their pain. She held a lot of her own grievances inside, never wanting them to see her break. She couldn't, she had to remain strong for them.

She left her car and slowly walked over to them, they acknowledged her presence, but hardly moved. Only Tori and Cat looked up to her. "How's school going today?" She sat between Tori and Cat, then folded her arms on the table. The wind blew her hair back as she smiled at the group, trying to bring something pleasant into the atmosphere. They were the only ones outside, which meant classes must still be in session. "How come you're not in class right now?"

"The teacher let us take a break," Tori replied. "Just thinking about Andre and everything else. Can't believe how everything seems like it's changing. I wish things would go back to normal already." Trina frowned as Beck's face tightened and Jade slowly looked away. Tori let out a frustrated moan and lowered her face into her hands. Her eyes were already wet and her cheeks had been stained with tears.

"Did something happen?" Tori lifted her shoulders and crossed her arms.

"The new counselor found us during lunch and wanted us to talk about the experiences…" Trina grunted and turned her eyes towards the school door. She knew they weren't ready to talk about it yet, there was no sense in forcing them. It irritated her that the counselor would do that, but she understood the situation. She put her arm around Tori's shoulder and smiled gently at her.

"I know it hurts, and she was only trying to help. You don't need to talk about everything until _you_ feel like you can do that. Okay?" Tori's gaze slowly drifted towards her. "You understand? You don't have to talk unless you're ready. Don't force it. When the time's right, it'll come naturally."

"Okay…Trina, did they ever find Sinjin's body?" She paused at her sister's question and slowly closed her eyes. The body had never been found, but they were certain he was dead. There was no evidence of him being alive. Hell, even his younger sister, Courtney, didn't have a clue of his whereabouts.

The sad thing was, Sinjin was a father. That's what pained Trina the most, that the man was out there, most likely dead, and all that his sister Courtney had left was herself and her niece. Raven had given birth many months before all the trouble escalated, and Courtney admitted to the police that the baby was indeed Sinjin's. The child may grow up parentless, and that was something Trina couldn't stand. At least she and Tori had all those years with their own parents.

"What if he's not dead?" Cat asked. "What if he comes back? We're safe, aren't we?" There was virtually no chance of him coming back to harm them, at least, she didn't think there was. Trina reached over and rubbed Cat's back, comforting the girl.

"You're all safe, I wouldn't let anything happen to you guys. Sinjin is just a thing of the past, nobody to worry about, and he is most likely dead. While his body hasn't been found, he hasn't turned up anywhere." They also never found or arrested Lilith, that bleached blonde bimbo. Sure, Raven may have said her sister was actually smart and a master of deception, but she still hated the girl for trying to make Jason turn on them by using lust. "Are you guys going to be able to get back to class, or do you need to get to your homes?"

Robbie lifted his head up and waved his hand slightly in the air. "I think we'll be all right. I know I'm fine, thanks…It's just rough thinking about everything."

"All right." She frowned at him and tilted her head. He always wore long sleeved shirts now, anything to hide the scars that covered his body. He'd suffered so much physical pain that she'd been surprised his body never shut down on him. "Beck? Jade? How about you two, are you all right?"

"We'll be just fine," Beck commented. Jade nodded in response and rubbed her arms. She'd been having constant nightmares ever since her return home, but fortunately her family was doing the best they could to tend to her and to take care of her.

In truth, it was Cat, oddly enough, who didn't appear as distressed as the others. Although she _was_ distressed and usually grieving, she rarely had nightmares. For the most part, it was just her task of holding on to the last truth of Tori's survival, to tell Trina, that kept her sane through everything. In addition, Lane actually didn't do much at all to her, so aside from being tied up and dragged up the stairs by the hair, she was the one who'd been least physically or emotionally injured.

Trina put her hands on the table and slowly pushed herself up, she really wanted to talk to the counselor. "I'm going to go talk to someone, do you want me to stay here any longer, or are you going to be getting back to class?" They responded with class, much to Trina's satisfaction. She smiled at them, hugged Tori, and started off for the counselor's office.

The new counselor was a slightly older woman, in her early thirties, with sandy brown hair that covered her shoulders, and a soft face. She was an easygoing woman, who tried her best to help all the students at the school. She shared Lane's problem with hand lotions, which was a bit of an issue for Cat, so she often kept her hands from getting dirty when talking to her. She had better control, so she didn't actually use any hand lotion when talking to Cat, or the others. The woman was a bit OCD, but again, had a lot of control.

As Trina entered the woman's office, remaining calm and peaceful, she found the counselor behind the desk, typing on the computer. "Diana." Trina spoke her name with a sternness to imply that she was irritated, but she didn't want the counselor feeling attacked in any way. Trina actually worked close with Diana to ensure Tori and her friends got the best help possible at school. Besides school counseling, the friends families were responsible for outside therapy. Even Tori had a therapist outside of school that she was seeing twice a week.

Diana stopped typing and turned, smiling once she recognized Trina. "Good afternoon Miss Vega. What brings you here?"

"Tori tells me that you kind of ambushed her and her friends?" She folded her arms over and Diana's lips fell. The guilt flashed in her eyes and she bowed her head. "I told them they can talk about it when they're ready, you can't just force them to talk about that experience."

"I know, I made a mistake in doing that. I was thinking that talking helps to alleviate the problems, and the more you talk about the problem, the easier it is to cope." Trina lowered her arms and leaned towards the right. She smacked her lips and closed her eyes.

"While that may be true, it's much too _soon_ to be doing that. They need time. They're still trying to figure out how to make everything normal again, though you and I both know nothing's ever going to be the way it was. You _have_ to give them time before they open up and talk about it. There's no way to force it out of them."

"I understand. I'll try to be gentler with them in the future."

"You're doing a great job, you just need to remember not to rush it. They're not attending their classes right now because their minds are on that whole subject." It didn't help that many of the students at the school seemed to pity them, which they didn't need. With all the pain they were going through, she was surprised any of them returned to school. "They came back to school because they didn't want to miss anything. It's going to be hard as hell for them with all the stress, so we're trying to make the last few months _comfortable_ for them."

"Just the fact that they came back on their own free will says they're strong enough to deal with this, but you're right, it will take time." Time was the best healer, after all. Injuries healed up in time, scars faded in time, and certainly emotional trauma would be easier to cope with over time. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, there's just that reminder I wanted to give you."

"I'll keep it in my mind, thank you."

"You have a good day." She turned and put her hand to the door, pausing as she felt Diana's eyes on her. She looked back to see the woman tapping her pen on her chin.

"What about you? Do you have any trouble?" Her mind flashed through the various images of all the struggling to save them, up to the final fight with Bethany. In truth, she'd been more worried about Sinjin than Bethany that day.

"I keep it to myself. Can't have them seeing me upset."

"That's not good…" Trina shrugged and continued on her way out the door. She knew there was probably little chance bottling up her emotions would help anything, but she didn't think she had much of a choice. She had to stay strong for Tori, for her friends, and for herself.

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Well this begins the sequel. I won't be updating it on a _daily_ basis, obviously, since I've got work and other stories I am working on too XD. However, I always get it done. You guys are in for a ride. I hope you enjoy this. So it begins.


	2. Big Responsibility

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N (Even if you never read author notes, READ THIS ONE): This IS a sequel to _Price of Desire_, and in order to read this story, you need to have read _Price_.

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Chapter 2 (Big Responsibility)

Trina stood before her parent's graves, with Tori next to her. Their Aunt Sonya, Cousin Arnold, and Grandmother, Betty were behind them. Trina's hair breezed out in the wind as her gaze slowly lifted upwards. Her mournful eyes remained hidden behind her shades, and she listened as her sister wept. Three months in, and it still didn't get any easier.

Being without them was soul crushing. How could anyone bear losing both their parents by the time they turned twenty? Even harder, was trying to will herself _not _to break down and cry. Her eyes stung and those bitter tears threatened her, so much that she needed to get away. She turned and brushed past her remaining relatives, wiping her eyes as she entered into the driver's seat of her car. Rather than turning on the ignition, she simply gripped the steering wheel and gazed ahead of her.

Her body trembled and her heart shook as she watched her family. They'd been here for a solid hour now, and she did not want to stay here any longer. Her mind wavered back to her parents and her heart split even more. She brought her forehead to the steering wheel and began weeping, no one could see her cry there. The tears ran down her face, cloaked by her hair. Her body quivered and she felt the car beginning to shake. Or was that herself? She couldn't tell.

Where had all those happy memories gone? Those cherished moments in time? She missed them so badly. She missed her father singing her to sleep at nights when she was just a little girl, she missed her mom's perky and upbeat attitude, and all around positive outlook at life. Her parents would never smile again, and it killed her. Knowing she wasn't fast enough to save them was murder. She tortured herself for it, day in and day out. She tortured herself for not being there to keep everything bad from happening. Tori didn't deserve this curse, her friends didn't deserve it, and now, they could never go back.

After a few minutes of crying, she felt someone touch her shoulder. Her head shot up and she was stunned to see her grandmother next to her. "Grandma?"

"I was worried about you," Betty said with a gentle, sad smile. "You know, you don't have to bear the weight alone, sweetie. We're all here for you." Trina wiped her eyes and felt her stomach lurching inside of her, pumping the bile up her throat.

"It…it's my job. I have to protect my little sister now, I can't let her see me cry." She clenched tight to the steering wheel and stared narrowed her eyes. "I can't ever make amends, Grandma…this is all my fault."

"Why do you blame yourself, Trina? You couldn't know what was going to happen. None of us knew. You did the best you could to save them all."

"I was at my martial arts class, I was avoiding Tori and her friends, and then I find out she and everyone else was abducted. I could have _stopped _it! I could have spearheaded their attempt, I was a fighter, Grandma. I should have been there!" She pounded the steering wheel and dropped her head, sobbing once more through her clenched teeth. "I didn't even hear…my phone ringing…that day…"

She felt her grandmother's arms around her and let her soft voice waft through her ears. "Sweetheart, you know, you are strong just like your father was. You're smart, caring, and you would do anything for your family. He always did what was right, never what was wrong, and whenever he had to make a wise decision, he would do it. Yet he was not perfect, none of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes. Trina, your father was outnumbered, he did everything he could to protect his family."

"I know…It wasn't enough…"

"Wasn't it?" She raised an eyebrow and turned her eyes towards her grandmother. Betty's cheeks were wet with tears and her chin was quivering. "You are alive, Tori is alive, and your _mother_ gave her life to save her babies. Now David and Holly, they may be gone now, but they are always with us, Trina. Guarding us, watching over us. And then you…" The elder lifted her hand and pointed her finger to Trina's heart. "With your father's spirit, went above and beyond to save your sister, to save her friends…and you won. You rescued every last one of them. You didn't fail anyone, Trina. I believe without a doubt that it is what David and Holly would have wanted. You know you couldn't have rescued your mother, right from the start she'd given her life in an attempt to save her children. Your father may have sacrificed himself to buy time."

"His death did cause a shootout with the gang…even the gang's leader died."

"Yes, and with that, your chances of rescuing Tori and her friends, they increased. Your parents, in a way, helped pave the path to you succeeding where they did not. Don't mourn because you blame yourself, there is no reason to blame yourself dear…but you can cry because they are gone. They were great people, and no one should ever have to go through what you and Tori went through. You may not see it now, but you will be stronger for it."

"Yeah…" She felt her heart lift up and smiled sadly, maybe the woman was right. Maybe there was no reason to blame herself, but it still hurt. "I still wish I'd gotten there fast enough. It's to the point, I feel a responsibility to all of them. It's like…they _are_ my responsibility now. Tori, Jade, Cat, Robbie, Andre, Beck…every last one of them. I'm still fighting to protect them. Do you think…it's too much?"

"Maybe. I can't be the one to answer that, Trina. Only you know what you can or cannot handle." She chuckled and let her eyes fall towards her hands. That was the same basic thing Sikowitz always told her. Her cell phone went off and she took a moment to answer.

"Hello?"

"Trina, it's Deputy Chief Michael. We have a situation."

"Got a job for me?"

"Not really, but you may want to come to the scene here. The former superintendent, Seth, just hung himself."

"What…I'll be right there." She clicked off the phone and looked at her grandmother apologetically, she hated to rush off like this, but it _was_ her job. "Grandma, thank you for the talk…"

"You're welcome dear. Now go on, I'll explain to the others that Chief Michael called you." Trina smiled and hugged Betty. She waited as the woman left, then slowly began to drive.

The prison wasn't far, and she wasn't the only cop arriving on the scene. She met Michael in Seth's cell and put her hands to her hips. She eyed the surrounding area and frowned. "Hung by a bed sheet," Michael stated while tapping the part of the sheet tied to the cell bars. The sheet ran all the way up to a pipe, was wrapped around the pipe, and then draped over it. Seth's body was limp, his head bowed, and his pants brown. "He's been hanging here since lunch, the prisoners and guards never saw him come out to eat."

"So he gave up lunch for a bed sheet…" She removed her shades and pushed them into her uniform chest pocket. Beneath Seth was a chair that had been knocked onto its side. To her understanding, Sikowitz had denied him an honorable death at his defeat. "I wonder if the whole honorable death thing finally caught up with him." Michael raised an eyebrow and Trina glanced over at the paramedics hurrying in with a stretcher. "Martial Artists have this Warrior's Death thing that says if they fall in battle, they must be given a warrior's death, as it honors them. Sikowitz did not give him that. It's believed that denying one the warrior's death, if it is asked, shames that person greatly. They have to carry that weight with them for the rest of their lives."

"Maybe. Anyway, there is no suicide note." She nodded and glanced at the fallen chair. If he kicked it out, it shouldn't be directly beneath him. She let her eyes drift to the pipe, then followed the sheet along towards the bars. Even if it wasn't a suicide, which it most likely was, he died in a prison with literally hundreds of other prisoners.

"From my perspective, there's nothing here that says it isn't a suicide. People hang themselves in prison cells all the time…however, that chair being positioned directly under him is a little odd." Michael turned his attention to the chair and rubbed his chin.

"You know what, you're right. You'd think it would be at least three feet over, but is it enough to call this a homicide?" She pressed her lips tight and rubbed her forehead, she didn't know. It could just be circumstantial. "Prisoners do not always leave suicide notes, and there could be cases of a chair being knocked over and remaining directly under the body."

"Right." As much as she wondered about it, she figured it really wasn't important. Seth would most definitely have committed suicide, dealing with the dishonor of being denied the honorable death. Plus, the coroner and all would likely consider this to be a suicide, more than anyone else.

The paramedics cut Seth down and covered his body up on the stretcher. Michael turned towards her and put his hand to her shoulder. "How are you holding up, Vega?"

"Been better, I guess. Been hitting the coffee quite a bit these days."

"I understand." The two walked from the cell to leave the remaining police work to the other officers and detectives there. "You've done all you can do, you know your father would be proud."

"Maybe. Somehow I still feel it isn't enough. I'm responsible for those kids now. It's a lot to take in."

"Take it one step at a time, it'll get easier after a while." She smiled slightly and returned her shades to her face, she wondered if she was hardening herself too much. It was hard to be soft, she had to have thick skin. "Don't forget to let yourself grieve. Okay?"

"I'll keep that in mind, Mike."

"Good."

About an hour passed and Trina was at a small diner with Jason. They'd started dating about a week after everything happened, but started out slow. Their relationship was starting to pick up some speed, but still they were going slowly. "How are you holding up?" Jason asked her, taking a bite of steak. Trina looked up to him, she didn't have her shades or uniform, and had her hair fleshed out rather than in the ponytail she kept it up in when she was in uniform. Whenever she was around him, she usually was able to bring herself to relax and soften up.

"I wish I could say I'm doing good. I guess I'm all right, I mean, I'm better than I was. How about you? You and Sikowitz doing all right these days?"

"Yeah. He's still making me do pushups and practice on a daily basis though." Trina chuckled and leaned forward, resting her chin on the top of her hands.

"There's something that will never change."

"I don't know why, but even though I kicked a lot of ass, he _still_ thinks I need to improve!"

"We always need to improve. Look at it this way, stop training, and you lose your muscles." She watched him cringe, and laughed in response. If there was one thing he didn't want, she was certain it was losing his strength. "Besides, you may want to keep up with me. Christy too."

"You know. One of these days I'm going to be _stronger_ than the two of you." She laughed again and took another bite of her meal. Her cheeks grew red as she caught him watching her, smiling at her.

"What is it?"

"You know I love you. I think you're an incredibly strong, beautiful woman…never forget that." She leaned across the table, it wasn't a very big one, and gave him a light peck on the lips.

"I won't. You know I'm just harder on myself than I used to be, it's no big deal."

"It is a big deal. You need to be able to allow yourself the time to relax. I know you think it's your job to take care of everyone, but you're still the most important person to yourself, and you need to be able to take care of you. If you don't do that, how can you possibly take care of them?"

"Your uncle's has been rubbing off on you, I see." She smirked slightly and Jason laughed. She knew he was right, but it was so damn difficult. With everything that was going on, she was just under too much stress. Maybe she'd learn to relax, maybe not. It wasn't the most crucial priority in her mind right now.

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Sorry it's taken me a while to get it out, but I hope you've enjoyed the chapter. I should mention that I have a job now (I think I've put that on my profile). Anyway, let me know what you've thought of the chapter! ^_^ Already it seems to have a more relaxed feel than Price did.


	3. Pain and Revenge

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long, I'm trying so hard to keep up with all my stories while also keeping up with my new job, so have patience, I am _never_ giving up on this story!

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Chapter 3 (Pain and Revenge)

In the darkness of the prison, a vivacious and angry blonde slipped quietly through the shadows. She was wearing a black suit with a black ski mask, her ponytail shot out from the back and swayed below her shoulders. She'd created an uproar when she slipped into the security room and shorted out the cameras, she also directed attention to the body of the former superintendant. When she went to retrieve him, he'd been complaining about he needed to die, he lost a fight, and so forth. As he irritated her, she hung him. Surely the boss wouldn't be pleased, but in truth, Seth was not needed.

Unfortunately she needed to retrieve certain people the boss said were needed to help with this plan, a plan that she didn't know the _full_ details yet. What she did know was all this running around was just the beginning of _revenge_. Her sister might not have approved of it all, but she wasn't alive to disapprove.

Slinking through the shadows with her was the first prisoner she'd found from one of the female prisons that she had to hit. There were two she needed, Venus was in a prison across town, and she freed Ying. Why the boss felt Ying was important, she didn't know. It had something to do with numbers, right now they were just finding the commanders. "All this running around is making me tired," Ying complained. Her voice was as irritating as a bee buzzing beside her ear. "Lilly, why do I have to be here?" Lilith's muscles tensed and she shot a quick glare at Ying.

"The _name_ is _Lilith_. Learn it, embrace it." Ying cowered under her fiery glare. "You're here only because right now you can't be out there. You will be a wanted fugitive, and the boss apparently has use for you." It stood that Ying _was_ one of the few people to go up against Trina Vega and _survive_, so there was some good to be had there. "Now keep it quiet, you'll blow our cover."

She pressed her back against a wall and peered around the corner, narrowing her eyes as she watched a guard pacing the corridor. She reached down to her belt and gripped a small round device. _No blood_. "Whatever happened to the ditzy, valley girl?" She narrowed her eyes and looked back at Ying.

"That was all an act."

"Really? She seemed so much nicer…" Lilith rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. If Ying wanted the valley girl, she'd _get_ the valley girl. Thinking swiftly, she turned and put on her best valley girl impression.

"Like totally nice, I can't believe you're still talking! Like oh my god, if you don't shut the hell up, I'm going to kill you and take the consequences!" Ying stiffened and slowly turned her head away. She crossed her arms and sighed.

"You don't have to be so hateful about it…" Lilith removed the round object from her belt and returned her view to the guard, holding her breath. His back was now facing her and he was walking away, she released her breath and smirked, he'd not heard the conversation. "So what are-" She quickly moved her free hand back, clamping Ying's lips shut with her finger and thumb. Did this woman not understand the fine art of _silence_? She pulled her hand away and Ying exhaled. "Sorry."

In one swift move, she spun her arm outwards and threw the round object towards the guard. It landed behind him and Lilith quickly removed a long bar from her belt, flipped off the top to reveal a red button. As soon as the guard turned around, reacting to the thrown object, she pressed the button and set off a steam of gas. The guard's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ying's jaw fell and Lilith quickly rounded the corner.

She threw the bar back into the belt loop and extended her arms above her head, flipping forward through the air. As she sailed through the air above the round object, she grabbed it and pressed the side of it down, shutting off the gas just as she landed on her feet. "Come on Ying, what are you waiting for?" She flipped her hair over her shoulder and glanced back, watching the woman stagger around the corner. "The guard should be out for about thirty minutes. Your father should be right around the corner…"

"I did not know you could do that…"

"There's a lot you don't know. My sister, her boyfriend and I, we were martial artists, and among the few people in that gang that didn't use the drugs that they shipped about." Drugs would ruin the body that they worked so hard to gain. Why they were involved in the gang to begin with, the nurse pulled them in. "There's a reason we all hated Bethany so damn much. That bitch was nuts. We either help her and her husband, or she performs her experiments on us."

"I would think Sinjin would have killed her when he was at her mansion…"

"He wanted to." Lilith smirked as she slid into the shadows once more and gazed around the corner. It was clear. She motioned to Ying and skipped around it, Ying followed close behind. "When Trina managed to take him out the first time, he saw some potential, that girl was _pissed_, he knew she'd cause a storm to run through the ranks of the gang." Ying lifted her eyebrows as Lilith scanned the surroundings. When it was clear, she continued down the corridor, Ying running behind. "When Sinjin was at the mansion, he wanted to free Tori."

"Why?"

"He has a younger sister, he and Raven even had a baby together…so he understood Trina's plight. He was not as heartless as people thought, he understood the value of family and hated Bethany to the point where he was going to try and take her out along with the over-muscular oaf." Hearing a sound coming from an adjacent hallway, she flattened herself against the wall and yanked Ying back into the shadows. She put her finger to her lips and quickly glanced down the hall, there were two guards conversing with each other.

She slowly stepped into the hall, using the shadows as her cover, and slid along it. Her footsteps were as soft as a kitten's, as if she were stepping on cloth. When she was directly behind the guards, their backs to the wall, she reached out with her hands and quickly brought them inwards, slamming the heads together and knocking out the guards.

Ying poked her head around the wall and Lilith motioned for her to join. Ying quickly ran to her, eyeing the guards for a minute before moving along. "So why didn't he take them out? Why did he wait for Trina to arrive?"

"All part of a grandmaster plan. That, and, he could have taken her out in that moment…he knew she could take out Bethany and save her sister, who was locked up to the point that he couldn't get in, so he let her go."

"That's almost like suicide."

"Would have been too, if not for his medical condition." Ying looked confused, but said nothing of it. Eventually, the two made it to Niu's cell. He looked up from the bench on the right and raised an eyebrow. Lilith lifted a set of keys she'd lifted from a prior guard and quickly unlocked the cell. "Niu, the boss wants you."

"I don't understand," he replied, "What is this?"

"No time. We still have to find Lane, then get out of here."

"He's still alive?" Ying asked in shock. Lilith chuckled and guided Niu from his cell. Lane had gone through a tragic moment when Trina shot off some very important parts, but he did manage to survive. Sadly, it may have taken away his bite and made him less threatening. The boss wanted him due to his unpredictability and his ability to deceive. Deception was crucial.

"Yes. Now Ying, one thing I must talk to you about, this whole plan that is going down…You do not touch Tori. She is off limits by the boss's orders." Ying pouted her lip and Lilith started rushing down the corridor. When she looked back, she saw father and daughter _walking_. She was astounded, and a bit taken aback. "What the hell are you doing? Get moving!"

"Right! Sorry…" The two ran behind her, catching up. "Anyway, why is Tori off limits?"

"Because she has gone through enough, and this is a _process_. There's no rushing in, this is not going to be as it was before…Revenge is a delicate process, time must be taken. This is against the police, against Jason Sikowitz for taking my sister's life, and against Trina Vega. We may not kill her, but we are going to make life in this town a living hell. But first…we need numbers, we need leaders…I didn't believe you would be a necessary asset, but the boss thinks there _might_ be some worth to you."

"Tell him thanks…I think…"

"Backhanded compliment, I know." In truth, even the boss didn't think Ying had much worth. However, for this plan, her assistance and knowledge of martial arts and deception would be helpful. She was also one of the only gang captains to have already commanded her _own_ army of people.

"Do you think I could stop off and see my little Daisy? My husband and daughter?" Lilith looked back at her, amused. She wanted to laugh, but thought better of it. Ying put her hand to her chest, offended by the bemused expression on the girl's face. "What?"

"Well one, you would have to be _stupid_ to think you can just go see them when they would likely call the cops the first time they saw you." Ying bowed her head and glanced to the side while her father pat her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. "Two, they're gone."

"What? Gone!" Ying's head shot up and her eyes widened. "What do you mean they're gone?"

"The minute you were arrested, they left the state. I assume it's because they wanted nothing more to do with you. Although, Daisy did thank Trina for putting you in jail." She knew this from spying on the Vega household through all this time. She had to gather as much Intel as she could. "Either way, it would be hard for any of us to go back to our families. Not that some of us can do that."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing meant by it." As they slipped into a new hallway, Lilith felt a deep sadness coming over her heart. She didn't want to tell Ying anything that she didn't need to know. Raven had been the one looking out, the better one, much like Trina was for Tori. They'd lost their parents to Bethany years ago, and in turn, were thrust into the Giovanni's gang at an early age. Raven met Sinjin at the martial arts studio they studied at, and found that he too had been forced into the gang, but for a different reason. His father had been a part of the whole thing, and urged him into it, molding him into a well-oiled fighting machine. Eventually, Sinjin would witness the murder of his own parents, who had disobeyed Bethany's orders to steal some priceless artifacts. This stirred his anger, his hatred, and his lust for revenge that put him on the villainous path.

For them, freedom would come at a price. They did the best they could to rise through the ranks, to earn Bethany's trust and to deceive her. Eventually, they were going to kill her. They were thrown off track when Bethany captured Tori, then Sinjin had to go and be sure to fill Trina with that same fiery rage that would make her hunt down the gang. Unfortunately it all went wrong from there, Sinjin had underestimated her anger and was arrested, sure he got free thanks to his boot knife, but he had some difficulty getting back to his sector. By the time he got to his sector, Trina had already gone through them. He learned from a survivor what Damian had tried to do to her and flew into a rage, he never would have permitted someone do such an egregious act.

Always a step behind, Trina made it to the beach before he did. He wanted to find Raven, to tell her to leave Beck for the group and run. They would have done away with their plan, even if it meant Bethany sending her goons after them amidst the war against Trina Vega and the police. They could have fought them off. By then, it was too late. Raven was gone.

Lilith had been hiding away on the beach when the police came, so they never found her. From there, she found Sinjin and informed him of what happened. She never saw so much pain, so much anger and so much hatred in his eyes. The one thing that made any sense to him, the person he loved most of all, taken. He blamed Bethany, he blamed Jason, and he even blamed Trina. The whole city was going to _pay_.

He convinced Giovanni to place the remaining units of his gang on that street, to call the police in and finish the war, knowing this was the man's way of giving up. He orchestrated the end of the gang and waited for Trina's arrival at the mansion just after checking to see if he could possibly get Tori out of the basement himself. There he sat in the home of the woman he hated the most, the one who consistently took _everything_ he loved from him, and all he had to do was fuel the rage of the girl who would take her out. Sure there would be casualties along the way, but it was all a process.

Seated at the abandoned, blood-drenched mansion that used to be owned by that absurd woman, was Sinjin Van Cleef. He was hunched over the desk in the office on the third floor, his hands clasped in front of his face, and his eyes narrow and hardened. This would be his base, he would command his army from here.

"You don't have to do this," Raven's soft voice wafted into his ears. He glanced to the side, stunned to see her walking around the desk. Her movements were slow, almost ghostly, but her body shined like that of an angel. Her beautiful hair was flowing out gracefully around her shoulders and her eyes were sparkling with love. "I understand your anger, Sinjin, but understand…this isn't the way. You and my sister, I know you're hurting…"

"I've lost everything I've ever cared about, and this damn city stole it from me. Bethany destroyed my mother, the police and that gang destroyed my father…"

"What of our child? Your sister? I know you care about them, and you still have them."

"Do I? The minute I'm found, I'm as good as dead. I don't want Courtney or our daughter to be involved in this life. What makes you think I care so much…" Raven stood before him and put her hand beneath his chin, gazing softly into his eyes. He lowered his hands on the desk and thinned his lips.

"Because you cared enough about the Vega sisters. You know what Trina went through, you saw the suffering of Tori, you _felt_ that, you felt what Trina felt. You would never want that to happen to Courtney, always keeping her safe, always keeping her away from Bethany…even now you shelter and guard her without her knowing." Sinjin's heart quivered and he quickly stood up, throwing his hand into the air.

"Nonetheless, this city _will_ pay for what they've taken from me." Of course he cared about Courtney, of course he cared for his daughter, but the plot for revenge has already been set in stone. "I can't turn back now. The process has already begun."

"Sinjin…"

"I can't have a life, the people already know of my involvement in that gang, whether forced or not."

"Bethany ruined many lives, Sinjin…Yours is not the first." She moved around to his back and slid her arms around his neck. He closed his eyes and breathed in, was this just a hallucination? Was it a dream? Was it reality? He was not crazy, he was only angry. "I'm sure the police would pardon that. Even Trina might be willing to _forgive_." The phone on his desk rang out and he quickly reached for it.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this…" Raven lowered her arms and bowed her head. Her eyes started to mist and she quickly faded away. Sinjin felt a sudden pang in his heart and slowly moved the phone to his ear. "Lilith?"

"I have them. All of them, even Venus."

"Great, bring them in…" He looked back to where Raven had been standing and lifted his eyebrows. Had that conversation truly happened? Had Raven become a voice of reason, of conscience? She had been in life, always the one to want to simply leave and not go through with the whole violence. She never wanted to keep Beck as a hostage, but with the people under her direct command being Bethany's soldiers, she couldn't disobey or risk getting killed or losing Lilith. She'd been waiting for Sinjin, he was supposed to come and get them out of there. There were many soldiers there, and maybe she and Lilith could have taken them out, but she thought it was best that Sinjin do it.

He clenched his hand and slammed it on the desk. He'd been too late to save her, too late break the girls out of there, and he wasn't going to let it happen again. He felt a pang of guilt, then a rush of rage. As he straightened himself up and peered out the window, he narrowed his eyes and spoke with a slow growl.

"It's time we tell them the next part of the plan."

* * *

So, a lot has been discovered in this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, tell me your thoughts. **  
**


	4. Big Brother is Watching

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 4 (Big Brother's Watching)

Trina and Michael made their way to the home of Courtney Van Cleef as further investigation of Sinjin's disappearance. They wanted to know if he'd contacted her at all yet, among other things. When thinking on him, she felt a tremendous amount of sorrow and sympathy that she didn't quite understand. She never really thought about what the guy's life had been like, but she did feel bad about Raven's dying. When they investigated Raven's path, she saw that the girl and her sister had been forced into the lifestyle of crime by Bethany after the murder of her parents. She couldn't even imagine what pain Lilith would have been going through, but Tori did often say that if Trina had truly been killed, she herself might have acted out in anger. Wherever Lilith was now, Trina wished she could see the girl and talk to her, maybe even provide some sort of help for her.

When they approached the door of the home, Trina rang the doorbell and glanced over to Michael. Recently, Chief Warren retired and Michael had taken over the police force, and he'd been tasked with a very stressful job. She was still very thankful to have him as an ally, and a powerful one at that.

The door opened partially and Courtney's face peered out through the cracked door. "Hello?" She spotted Trina and opened the door a small amount more. Trina smiled at her and waved, hoping to make her feel comfortable. Courtney was a very shy and timid girl, especially as of late, never hearing from a brother that everyone presumed was dead. As the last remaining member of her family, she was always so careful around anyone. "Miss Vega, you're back?"

"Yeah, I was hoping we could ask you a few more questions about Sinjin, if you don't mind?" In the corner of her eyes, she saw a red sedan across the street with two people inside. Her gut instinct was telling her they were being watched, but the men appeared to be talking amongst themselves. She hoped Courtney wasn't in any danger, as a young girl living by herself with only a baby in the house, there was no certainty of security. She would have to stick around and make sure those men didn't do anything. "I can ask Michael to wait out here if you'd like." Michael looked at her with an arched eyebrow, so she silently motioned with her head towards the parked car. He nodded and cleared his throat.

"I'll stay out here."

Courtney looked from him, to Trina, and opened the door a bit more. "Okay, but I'm in the middle of changing Tiffany's diaper." Trina smiled as Courtney led her inside. Tiffany Angel Van Cleef, she remembered the name from her earlier visits with Courtney. Tiffany was the name of Raven's mother, Angel was short for Angeline, the name of Sinjin and Courtney's mother. "I hope the stench isn't going to be too much, she really does make it smell…" When they walked into the nursery, the stench indeed hit her like a ton of bricks, but she immediately brushed off the sourness that stung her eyes to tears.

"It's fine." She watched Courtney hurry over and grab the dirty diaper off the changing table. Courtney chucked it into a trash labeled 'biohazard', then grabbed a fresh diaper from one of the shelves below the table. She was moving so fast that it was stunning. "You're quick."

"Well normally I'm not, I'm just rushing cause I had to answer the door. I don't like leaving Tiffany in the middle of changing her." Trina nodded and watched Courtney grab some baby powder from the station. "Go ahead and wait in the living room if you can."

"All right." She pushed her hands into her pocket and walked out into the living room. She felt a sense of peace and security in the home, which was strange. Maybe Courtney had protection, but from where? Did the girl know anything about it? She lifted her shoulders and studied the pictures on the wall and mantle of the fireplace to her right. She smiled at the photos, all of perhaps a happier time.

One of the biggest photos was hanging on the front wall of the brick chimney. It was of a man in a brown suit with a beautiful sandy haired woman holding onto a baby. Beside them, standing in front of the man, was a two year old boy rubbing his eyes at the camera. Sinjin, no doubt. He would be twenty, and Courtney was almost eighteen.

All along the mantle were various photographs, much like a timeline. Many with happy family moments of Courtney and her mother, or Sinjin with his parents, and even one with both siblings laughing at the camera. She could sense there was a lot of love between the two of them.

Then in the center of the mantle was a woman, Raven, in a beautiful white bridal dress. This picture had a caption on it, signaling a future wedding date, one that the girl would never see. In the photo, Raven was holding Tiffany in her arms and smiling brightly at the camera. Sinjin was standing beside her, practically sharing in her glow. He was kissing her cheek. His wavy hair was down past his chin, gracing his shoulders, and his strong arms were around her waist. This was the happiest she'd ever seen either person. It moved her to tears.

"They're together in heaven now, I believe," Courtney said from behind. Trina jumped out of her skin and spun around, seeing the girl holding Tiffany in her arms. The baby was snoozing very quietly. "I have this feeling that he's still out there, but I don't know…I wish I knew, I wish I knew he was okay. Sometimes I feel like he's watching, and when I think that, I feel safer for it. Then, I think he'd be better off if he were wherever Raven is right now."

"Raven would have made a beautiful bride." Courtney smiled and moved over to the brown loveseat that was facing the fireplace. Trina followed and sat beside her, gazing up at the fireplace.

"Sometimes I'll sit here for hours and hours, just thinking. All the memories we've had, he really did his best despite everything we had to deal with." That heaviness returned to her heart and she turned her curious gaze to Courtney. Courtney bowed her head and rocked Tiffany. "Our father was a member of that gang that you took out, he forced Sinjin into it. Sinjin did everything he could to keep me from being a part of it. Then things went from bad to worse…"

"What happened?" Trina turned her attention to the photographs and felt her heart pounding inside, she never knew Sinjin had been forced into it. His involvement couldn't have been his fault.

"Bethany killed our mother in a fit of rage, then our dad disobeyed her in retaliation." She gasped and put her hand to her mouth, her heart was crying for the family. She knew where this was going. "Bethany sent her thugs and the police force after our father while he was trying to find a way out of the gang, he died in an the gunfight that resulted. After that, Sinjin had to stay in or else Bethany might kill him. He wanted to escape, he wanted to take Raven and get out, and I think he had a way…but then that hellish nightmare happened. He made sure the gang never came after me, made sure they never tried to recruit me, but was it too much for him?" Courtney's face was wet with tears. Trina could feel her pain, her sorrow. This was one girl that wanted a happy ending that just wasn't coming soon enough for her. "Right now it feels like…all I have left is my niece."

"So you haven't heard from him at all?" Courtney looked up at her and shook her head. Her eyes were full of sadness and hope.

"It's the same thing I told you last time we talked." Trina put her hands to her knees and closed her eyes. It seemed neither of them had good news for the other one.

"I see…"

"Have you heard from him? I mean, is he still alive? There's a chance, right?" Trina's lips thinned and she recalled the vivid memory of pushing that knife into his chest. She regretted that move now that she saw all this, but it was far too late to allow guilt of that to consume her. She acted solely out of rage and anger.

"I don't know, his body disappeared…he was stabbed in the chest, so there's a good chance he didn't make it…" Courtney bowed her head and sobbed once. Tiffany opened her tiny eyes and raised a hand up, touching her tiny fingers to Courtney's nose. The girl smiled at her niece, then quickly lifted her head up, speaking in a rush of excitement.

"Wait! Sinjin had dextrocardia, his heart is on the other side of his chest. If he didn't get hit in the right side of his chest, then he's probably alive." Trina lifted up her shoulders and gazed at one of the photos on the mantle of Sinjin and Courtney beaming in front of the camera. She didn't know how to respond to the hope in the girl's voice. If there was any chance of his survival, then where would he be and what would he be doing?

"If that's what you believe, then maybe it's good for you to believe it for now. You have my number, so you know if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll be there." She rose from the couch and Courtney gave her a gentle smile. As she turned her attention to the front door, she exhaled and remembered the car outside. "Do you ever feel like you're being watched? Are you safe?"

"Of course it's safe, sometimes I feel like my brother's keeping tabs on me. Maybe he is, maybe he's not, but at least I know I'm safe." With a nod, and a feeling that those men outside might not pose a danger at all, she made her way towards the door.

"That's good, but just remember, if ever you need anything…"

"I have your number."

"Right."

After the visitation, Trina and Michael had to make their way to the prisons for another investigation. A few inmates had gone missing. To be exact, Lane Alexander, Ying and Niu, as well as Venus had all mysteriously vanished from the prison cells. Yet, nobody saw a thing, and the guards only remembered whatever it was they were doing before blacking out completely. Trina did not like this one bit, because these were all the people she'd just put away. If they were back out on the streets, then surely it would not end well.

First up, they were questioning the one prison guard that remembered something of a 'bomb' going off moments before blacking out. They were seated in the warden's office with the warden, a stern looking older man, leaning up against a wall. The guard was sitting across from Michael, his eyes were bloodshot.

"So you're saying some kind of bomb went off before you blacked out?" Michael asked while writing down the statements in a notebook. Trina folded her arms over and narrowed her eyes, this whole thing sounded suspicious to her. "And that's all you remember?"

"I don't know if I can say it was a bomb, that's just how I remember it." The guard rubbed his head and groaned, he clenched his eyes shut. "I was walking the hall, not leaving my post, and I heard something hit the ground behind me. I went to investigate, and smoke started coming out of it. Once the steam hit my face, I was falling, then darkness. I woke up thirty minutes later and I couldn't see anything." The warden did say earlier that they found the guard screaming that he was blinded, but he'd been shocked that no one saw this or even found the guard lying down for thirty minutes. When they went to investigate, they found the cameras had all been blacked out. "I don't understand what happened to me."

"What happened was someone hit you with knockout gas," Trina explained. She recognized this, similar stories were told by the female guards at the prisons where Ying and Venus disappeared from. One had been gassed, another had been hit with a chloroform rag. Whoever had infiltrated the prisons was a master at stealth. "Whoever hit you must have been trained in stealth, almost like a ninja…you're saying you heard no other noises?"

"Nothing. Just silence until that one moment. There was nothing out of place, nothing odd happening at all…"

"And the prisoners aren't talking," The warden added. "We've asked every prisoner nearby the guards that were attacked, and even the ones around Niu's and Lane's cells, there was nothing amiss."

"Right. That fits the same stories we're hearing from the other prisons." Although there was a prisoner at the one where Venus vanished from that _did_ claim seeing a flash of blonde hair making its way around the corner. This made Trina suspect the person behind the disappearances could have been the same person she saw at the mansion so long ago when Sinjin's body vanished. It fit the MO, as it appeared this person was taking people from that gang.

The question was, _why_. She narrowed her eyes and stared in silence as Michael continued asking the guard some questions. If someone was abducting members of the gang, surviving members, then was it to take them out? Or was there a different reason? She couldn't pin a suspect just yet, as there were many people with blonde hair. While her gut made her think it could be Lilith, there just wasn't enough evidence to point towards her, she could very likely have been taken as well. Blonde hair was only circumstantial evidence.

When Michael sent the guard away, he turned to Trina and put the heels of his feet up on the desk. "All right Trina, any thoughts on the matter?"

"I have my thoughts, but I'm not one hundred percent…" She stepped forward, breathing in deeply as she felt all eyes upon her. "One possibility is someone with blonde hair is going after the surviving members of the gang and killing them. Why I think that, Seth's death still looked more like a homicide than a suicide."

"The chair's placement."

"Yes." However, if done by the same person, it couldn't have been a sloppy error. It had to be a message. "Whoever this person is _knows_ we'll be looking into it. They're either toying with us, or purposely leaving messages behind." She tapped her chin thoughtfully and met Michael's intrigued gaze. "Why, I don't know yet. However if the intention is foul play, we have to look at those who might be angry with the gang. One prisoner reported blonde hair, and I think _if_ Lilith is still around, she _could_ be that person."

"Lilith? The blonde ditz from the beach?"

"Well she was never found, correct?" Trina lowered her arms and watched Michael's eyebrows go up. If it was Lilith, she could be baiting the police. "I left her dangling in that window, if she got away…she would have a good reason to go after these gang members. The gang took away her family, even her sister perished thanks to this gang…she's more nimble as well, our fight was a tough one, and she did show signs of being smarter than I had been giving her credit for."

"Okay, so supposing it _is_ her, why would she go after Sinjin?" Michael bounced his pen in the air and smirked. Trina was caught at that. Lilith wouldn't have much reason to hate or go after her sister's fiancé. "What reason would she have to kill her sister's lover? Sympathy?"

"That leads to my second theory. If it _were_ Lilith and this was all a setup…she could be taking the gang and planning some sort of retaliation. Could that be?"

"Maybe, but why?"

"I don't know. The gang was the one that stole hers and her sister's life." So why would she try to rebuild the gang, if that was her plan? "This is why I think maybe it isn't her, maybe it's someone _else_."

"Further investigation is needed in order to turn theories into reality, Trina. We won't have all the answers right away."

"Yes sir." They needed to get a list of possible suspects. Anyone that might be friends with the surviving gang members that would try to bust them out, or anyone that might be enemies that would have something against them. "I suspect these gang members would have more enemies than friends."

"Be aware that if the culprit knows we have any kind of physical identifiers, it is possible they would change it."

"The hair, right, but only those of us in this room know that." Even still, there was that unshakable feeling that she was being watched. Just like at Courtney's place, she couldn't get past the thought that there was someone surveying everything. "We'll have to keep the details of this investigation on the hush-hush, won't we?"

"Yes, until we can figure out just how serious all this is."

"Got it."

* * *

Penny for your thoughts, mi amigos **  
**


	5. Visiting Andre

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 5 (Visiting Andre)

Tori walked with her cousin through the hospital where Andre was, she had to have Arnold there or else she didn't feel safe. Trina was still at work, so she couldn't be there. She was heartbroken that Andre still had to remain where he was, and to think, he would never walk again. The wrong place, the wrong time. Bethany wanted her, she wanted Trina, Andre should never have been there. None of them should have, and it upset her greatly.

No matter how many people told her not to blame herself, it was never enough. The terror, the guilt, everything was too much for her to bear. If not for Trina, she would certainly be gone right now. She didn't think that as in Trina wouldn't have saved her, she had to think that as in Trina's constant presence after the trauma was keeping her alive. There were some nights where it got so bad that she wanted to die, she wanted to throw herself into slumber and never wake up again, but there were people who needed her. Those same people, she also needed.

_Just two weeks after being rescued from Bethany, Tori Vega lay on the warm bed her Aunt made for her. She was grateful to them that the home was big enough to accommodate her, as well as Trina. Trina got Arnold's old room across the hall, he had his own place of course._

_ Tears drenched the sides of Tori's face and the pillow her head lay upon. Her heart was trying to tear itself from her chest and her stomach was churning up a storm. Visions of her parents, memories of the trauma she suffered, the guilt of having thrust her friends into such a danger filled her head. It was her fault, she couldn't help but think it. She was the one that was closest to Bethany as a child, she was the one that let Bethany think of her as a daughter, and she was the one that let her friends stay with her that day._

_ Now with her parents gone, she felt alone. Her body was on fire, her bones aching. She was drenched in sweat and her eyes were beginning to roll back. Beside her was a half empty bottle of Advil and a glass of water. She wanted so badly to see her parents again, to feel their arms embracing her. She didn't want to struggle with the pain and the suffering that she felt. How could she? Her friends were lucky, their parents were safe, their families were safe. _

_ Sure, she had her grandmother, her aunt, her cousin, and Trina. But she was a burden to them. She was an emotional wreck and a possible hindrance to Trina now. She hoped her sister didn't resent her, she was truly sorry. _

_ "Tori? Tori!" Her sister's voice surrounded her, but she didn't want to listen. She didn't want to come to. She wanted to sleep, forever. "Oh my god! Tori! Arnold, Aunt Sonya! Help me!" She felt her sister's hands on her arms, shaking her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Trina's terrified face, wet with tears._

_ Tears. Trina never cried. She felt a sense of peace flowing into her, those tears she'd wanted to see for so long. She heard her sister telling her to stay awake, crying for her. "Trina…"_

_ "Don't you dare do this, Tori! Don't you dare! Not after all I went through to keep you safe! I need you." Her heart cried and fresh tears came to her eyes, she couldn't believe Trina needed _her_. Not Trina, she always took care of herself. She never needed anyone, right? _

_ "I…wanted to…I couldn't…" She heard others rushing into the room. Arnold's voice echoed in the room while Sonya called the ambulance. She was weak, but she didn't take enough pills to kill herself. She wanted to, but after the sixth or seventh pill, she stopped. The rest were on the floor. "I'm sorry Trina…I'm not strong."_

_ "Don't you say that." She felt Trina hug her close, letting her silent tears fall. "I know it's hard, but we can make this. You're stronger than you think. You survived, Tori. Don't let this beat you. You're a Vega, you're my sister, there's nothing we can't handle. Promise me…promise me you won't do this again."_

_ "Okay…"_

Tori wiped her eyes as she walked into Andre's room. He was asleep beside the hospital bed, seated in a wheelchair. She felt her heart breaking more when she eyed his still legs. "Andre…" She whispered his name, but he seemed to hear it anyway, as he lifted his eyes up to her. He smiled vaguely and raised a hand.

"Hey Tori, doc says I still have to endure a few more weeks of physical therapy before I can be let out. I'm still gaining the strength in my upper body, my legs are done for though." He put his hands to the wheel and started rolling towards her. "How are you holding up?"

"It's been hard…for all of us." Cat was the only one that seemed remotely optimistic. "I can't understand how all of this could have happened to us, you know? It doesn't seem fair."

"It's not…" He shifted his gaze to his legs and tensed his body. "I'll never reach my dream now, you know." Her lips thinned as she sat on the edge of the bed. Andre wanted to go into the military to be a fighter pilot. He and Beck were going to go in together, as best friends, brothers. Now, neither of them could. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Trina says it's best to take it one step at a time. Time heals all wounds, they say, but I don't know how well this healing is going." Why couldn't things be the way they used to be? Why did that nurse have to go nuts and throw a wrench in all of their lives? "Maybe one day there will be a way to repair the damage done to you."

"No…I don't think so…" He rubbed his legs and sighed. "My family's being trained to help me keep my legs from atrophying completely. Though I can't walk, the PT says it's possible to exercise my legs so the muscles in there stay firm. I'd hate think of rolling around with…" His eyes started to water and Tori reached over, taking his hand into hers. She wanted to tell him it would be okay, she wanted to tell him things were looking up, but she just didn't know how to do that anymore.

"At least. At least you can still play the piano."

"There is that." He smiled and leaned back in his chair. As he closed his eyes, his smile seemed to grow. "It used to just be a hobby, a passion, but I can still see myself sitting on that grand stage with this elegant piano in front of me…I'm playing out Beehtoven, Bach, and even some original pieces myself."

"See? Maybe the dream is still there." He opened his eyes and turned his attention to her. She stared ahead at the wall, thinking of all her friends' dreams, their goals in life. She knew for most of them, acting or singing was just a passion, not a true career choice. Yet, as her Aunt told her one day, those passions were what would keep everyone going. "Maybe it's just another dream, people can have more than one. So you can't be a fighter pilot anymore, but you can still be a pianist. You can still write songs, make music, and bring enjoyment to everyone's life." Andre smiled at her and folded his arms across his chest.

"So can you, Tori."

"I don't know…"

"Well, at the very least, we're alive. Right? What's the point of dwelling…" She scoffed under her breath and lifted her shoulders up. She wasn't sure how to respond. It was the same thing Cat always said, but yet, none of them were truly ready to move on. How could they? How could she forget what happened? How could she learn to forgive? After what happened, she couldn't possibly be expected to just forgive and move on, could she?

"This is just one of those times that I don't feel very secure. I mean…I've lost everything, it seems. How can I move on like that?" No, she knew it wasn't easy, but did she want to move on? Tears came to her eyes, she couldn't shake them away. "I'm not strong enough. You know Cat's handling all this better than most of us, and Trina seems to be doing okay, but I'm not…did you know I wanted to die, Andre?" Andre's eyes widened for a moment and his lips parted. "I tried, but I couldn't go through with it…I'm not strong."

"But you didn't. You're strong because you didn't go through with it, Tori…" Tori smiled vaguely and bowed her head. Her hair fell in front of her face, shrouding her depressed gaze, she didn't think that made her strong at all. If she were strong, she wouldn't have even thought of doing such a thing in the first place. "The thing is, after that trauma, every one of us has likely hit that low spot…we've all been where you have been. You want to know something?" She lifted her eyes to him and thinned her lips.

"What?"

"When I first got to the hospital and into this wheelchair, they had me a few floors up. For days I would move to the stairwell and just stare, so badly I wanted to throw myself down it." Andre's face hardened and his eyes grew stony. Tori opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't come up with any words. She was too shocked to think that he would possibly consider something like taking his own life. He closed his hands and tears began streaming down his face. "I didn't think there was anything left for me in this world, my dreams were crushed, and I knew _nothing_ was going to be the same…One day I was sitting there, someone ran by me and accidently bumped into me, I started rolling…"

Tori held her breath, her throat tightened, and her heart became heavy. She couldn't stand the thought of losing such a good friend, it was too much for her heart to bear, it would have broken in two if such a thing happened. "So…what happened?"

"I was terrified, the wheelchair was going over the steps…" He paused and breathed in sharply. His eyes shut and his body began to tremble. "I grabbed the side railing as quickly as I could, but the wheelchair kept moving. I thought I was going down with it. I didn't…but the fear I felt then, screaming for help until the nurses came for me…I knew I didn't want to die. I started thinking about my family, about my friends, and I just…" He shook his head and Tori gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Tears slid down her cheeks. "I wanted to live. I want to get out of this hospital, I want to be with you guys."

"Andre. I'm so sorry." She leaned forward and hugged him. She still couldn't contain her tears. She was thinking about everyone else and how she felt right now. With the mental trauma they endured, losing a friend would be too much for any of them. Maybe he was right, maybe making the decision to choose life was what made someone stronger. She felt his arms around her in a hug, he pat her back and breathed shakily.

"We all need each other right now, Tori. It's impossible to make it out alone. I don't know if anyone's really talked about what happened, but…we still need to at least talk to each other." He had a valid point, there was no use in simply keeping everything bottled in. Bottling up this trauma would only make things worse. "So how about you and I make a deal, Tor?"

"Anything, Andre."

"We _try_ to be strong?" She whimpered under her breath and pulled back, looking into his soft brown eyes. "As you said, Cat's the one that's dealing with this the best, it seems. Maybe she can't be the only one trying to cope…"

"I don't know how, or if I'm even ready, to cope." It would take time, she knew that, but what terrified her the most was thinking that coping meant forgetting. Not only that, but it also meant forgiving. Did forgiving mean she was saying it was okay that Bethany took away her parents? For destroying her life, her friends' lives? "Coping means forgiving, forgiving means…it's not okay that Bethany took away our lives, Andre. It isn't."

"I don't think that's what it means, I think it means letting go. It all takes time, I guess. There's no way we could possibly forget what happened, and every one of us is probably going to cope at our own pace I'm sure…Some nights I find it hard not to dwell, but I know dwelling can't be good. That's what my sister says anyway, that it's not good, and that it takes time."

"Your sister's a smart girl."

"Yeah, she's amazing. Though, I think Trina kind of stole the show. I mean you should be proud to have a sister like that." Tori chuckled and smiled dreamily. She was _definitely_ proud of Trina. That girl was not only her sister, with an inseparable bond, but she was also her hero. "We all owe her our lives. I never thought she would care enough to save us when…we've all treated her like shit."

"She may be self centered sometimes, but she really does care. She's my sister, and I love her. Besides our grandma, aunt, and cousin…she's all I've got left, and I'm all she has left." Well, except Trina's stuffed dog, Snowflake, which she managed to retrieve from the old house after everything was said and done. "Then Sikowitz, Christy, and Jason…I couldn't believe all of them helped her. Of course, Jason's her boyfriend and Christy's her best friend…"

"Yeah Christy. She's that girl Beck found that used to pick on Robbie when they were younger, right?" Tori laughed at the memory and nodded her head. "Amazing. She wound up saving Robbie too, huh?"

"I think so. Apparently the Gorilla in the Gorilla Pit was a robot. That club's been shut down."

"You think. I mean last I heard, everything was cut up and destroyed. Christy went sword happy in that place." The two laughed for a second, then sighed. It was hard to think that they were actually laughing about it at all, but the laughter made her feel a lot better. Then, it wasn't just the laughter, it was the concept of talking about it. The heaviness in her shrank a little, but not much. Overall, this was a great visit with him.

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Your thoughts mi amigos


	6. Family Time

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

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Chapter 6 (Family Time)

Jade lounged on her couch in the living room, staring silently at the news on the television, Trina was helping to solve yet another case. Though, the names of the missing prisoners were shaking her up a bit and she was beginning to question if the others knew about these prisoners yet or not. She found it hard to cry these days, though she still did on occasion, but only when things got really tough. Although that _was_ more frequent than she liked to admit. She hadn't seen Beck very much, just at school, but he'd been avoiding everyone. He was the only one of the group that had been with a _respectful_ captain. In all honesty, the only bad thing they did was tie him above the shark pit. He felt guilty because Raven and Lilith were _going_ to let him go, and the only reason Raven was dead was because Jason had to rescue him.

She changed her appearance a little, stopped using makeup to make herself look so pale and scary, like her birth parents had been. After the tragedy, she chopped a good portion of her hair and let the brown grow out to the very tips of her shoulders, and she was beginning to wear less fishnets and black outfits that reminded her of the two monsters that had her.

When she felt the couch move, she gripped the cushion for dear life and quickly snapped her head over when she felt a hand on her arm. Her tense body relaxed as she saw it was only her father, smiling warmly at her. "Jade, you haven't left the house in some time." She slowly sat up and peered at the television screen.

"Not true, I've gone to school."

"Besides that. You can't remain cooped up in here forever. I'm going to take the family to the park for a picnic. Join us?" Her heart began to rise in her chest, her dad never did this before. "It'll be Monica, Lance, and your mother Denise. Maybe you can throw the ball around with us." She was so tempted to say no and keep hiding in the house, she saw what her dad was trying to do, and she _wanted_ to go. She was just afraid. Her eyes began to glaze over as a dull ache filled the hole in her chest. Should she leave this haven of warmth and comfort, not knowing what could be out there? She looked up to see Monica and Denise walking up behind Henry and smiled, the two mothers had become really close lately.

"You know we won't let anything happen to you, sweetie," Monica moved towards the couch and sat beside her. Jade closed her eyes and put her head upon her stepmother's shoulder. Ever since the tragedy, she was glad to have them, glad to call them her parents, and they did treat her as their own, despite being adoptive parents. Of course, she learned her lesson, she would never run away again.

"Maybe it couldn't hurt anything," she replied in a whisper-quiet voice. If they were all going to go to the park, then she'd be left alone in the house. If she was left alone, Mortimer or Morgana might find her! Sure Trina and the others disposed of them, but that didn't mean they were gone. She knew the irrational fear was only from the nightmares she'd been having, but how irrational were they? When Trina floored Morgana the first time, she rose up again! She never wanted to go back into that horrifying house.

Lance came rushing into the room, bouncing up and down, squealing for joy. "Jade! You'll come with us won't you? Please? Please! Please! Please say yes!" She looked over to him and with a tearful smile, nodded her head. More so than even the parents, she was _so glad_ to be alive and with her little brother around. He appeared to be on a sugar rush, yet again, but she was no longer bothered by it like she had been in the past years. "You're coming? Does that mean you're coming?" Lance hurried over her and threw his arms around her. "I love you sis!"

"I love you too little bro."

At the park, Jade found herself standing in the open field and gazing up at the puffy white clouds in the blue sky. The cool breeze against her face warmed her frightened and tortured soul. It wasn't so scary though, being outside at the park with her family, the people that she just knew she could trust not to hurt her.

A few feet away, Monica and Denise were sitting with their legs running out to the sides, on a white and red dotted blanket. In the middle was a wicker basket that held two loaves of French bread. The blanket had plates with sandwiches half-eaten resting on them. The mothers were smiling at the family in the open field.

Henry, Lance, and Jade were positioned as if they were the corners of an equilateral triangle. Henry had a baseball in his hand and was smiling at his two children. "All right, Jade you're open!" She quickly looked to her father as he tossed her the ball. A smile spread across her face as she reached up and grabbed the ball from the air. "Keep it flowing! Don't stop!"

"Got it." Her arm sailed smoothly through the air, releasing the ball at the bottom of an arc towards Lance. Lance repeated the action and tossed it to Henry, who then tossed it behind his back towards Lance, changing the flow. Lance grabbed the ball and threw it to Jade, who smirked and tossed it back to Lance. With that, Lance tossed it back to her, and this kept going for a second before she finally tossed it to Henry, who looked about ready to sit down.

As the game play continued, she was able to just _forget_ about her troubles and worries, if even for a moment. She didn't know it was possible, but when it dawned upon her that she was actually out having fun with her family and not thinking about the tragedy, she was completely shocked.

The day started to pass along and she thought she heard Beck's voice calling out to them. "Hey! Jade! Mr. West!" She looked over her shoulder and saw Beck with his mom and dad, running up with a red Frisbee. Her heart jumped joyously as she rushed over to meet him. His parents, Rick and Martha, were running behind him, moving to a walk once he stopped. "We saw you guys out here and were wondering if you'd like to throw the Frisbee around a bit? Mom would like to sit down."

"Oh no," Martha said while walking towards Monica and Denise. "Mom is _going_ to sit down." The women laughed and let the woman sit beside them. Martha was never one to run or do very active things. She couldn't really, with her bad knee. She had short brown hair and a round figure, but a friendly round face with a vibrant smile. "I am wiped out dears."

Henry moved over to Rick and tossed the baseball gently onto the blanket nearby. "I don't see why you can't join us. Come on, we'll talk the rules of the game." As Rick, Lance, and Henry moved over a few feet, Beck and Jade stayed where they were.

"I'm surprised to say, but it's been a good day," She said. She hugged his neck. He hugged her back and warmth flooded into her. This was one of the few times she saw Beck _not_ a depressed wreck. It was good to forget sometimes, even though it didn't necessarily mean they were moving on. It would be too hard to expect them to move on right now.

"I know, I feel like I haven't laughed in ages…Mom and Dad have been throwing jokes around like crazy."

"Yeah, so have my family. Do you think…do you think we'll be okay, Beck?" She wanted to know what lay in the future, but who wouldn't after something so terrible? "I mean…what happened took out a good chunk of our lives. It feels like there's something we just won't get back."

"Maybe there are. I don't know. Maybe things will get better, maybe they'll go back to the way they used to be. I just don't have all the answers…and there are some things that never will go back to the way they were." He pointed to his eye patch and frowned. She lifted her hand carefully and delicately smoothed her fingertips along the patch, her heart breaking as she did so. "It wasn't even Raven that did that, it was from that first fight that day. I get the captain that isn't wanting to kill me, and yet, she dies? Did she deserve to die?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure what the ones that had you were like. They sound a lot better than the ones that had all of us, though." Of course, each of the friends probably thought the Captain holding them was the worst of the bunch. She looked back at the people with the Frisbee, all three hunched over and chatting amongst themselves. "I was a little afraid to come out here today."

"Same here. Sometimes I feel like a burden to my family, but Mom and Dad make me feel like…like I matter." She chuckled and bowed her head, gently resting her forehead onto his chest. It was _so easy_ for him, in her mind, because he was an only child with two parents. There was nothing complicated about his family, whereas hers seemed a bit difficult to think about. "Seems like everyone's family has been kicking it up though. They care about us…"

"That's more than I can say I ever expected, to be honest. When my birth parents had me, I…" She choked up and tears started to spring from her eyes. Her heart began to pound and quickly she became afraid to speak. Her fear had been that no one would find her, no one _wanted_ to find her. She would die in that place, and no one would care. She couldn't talk about it, not now. She closed her eyes as Beck held her close, rubbing her back.

None of them could really talk about their time captive, about the trauma they faced, and she could see why. It was just too difficult, too frightening to step back into that mess and to relive the memory. The nightmares, still prevalent, the flashbacks, still daily, and the memories she wished would just _go away_.

Her father's voice reached her and she looked back to see him motioning for them to come over. "Hey, we're ready to throw the Frisbee around if you are!" She smiled and quickly wiped her tears. "Lance is going to be on your team, it's the dads against the kids."

"Yeah!" Lance exclaimed as he rushed over to her side. Jade's competitive streak started to rise and she immediately tore herself from Beck, smirking at her father as her worries once again vanished.

"All right then, the Dads are going down!"

"Good luck. It's like football, you have to reach the tree behind us and we have to reach the tree behind you." Henry started to throw the Frisbee and Rick began running. The mothers all watched and ate their food. Let the games begin.

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Well family really does help to cope and maybe to forget, but eventually they're going to have to talk about the tragedy if they truly want to cope. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	7. The 'Lucky' Ones

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N: FIRST AND FOREMOST, YOU MUST READ: I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR THE LONG WAIT, IT WILL _NOT_ HAPPEN AGAIN. I was trying to finish all these stories I was dealing with, written-wise, and having four or five stories being written at the same time is hellish. I did not forget this story, and I will not forget this story. It WILL be finished. BigStuOU, Anon, SeaIng, all you guys, I hope you're still kickin' about. I may be updating several stories at the same time right now, but 3 out of 5 of those are now _finished_ written-wise and are only being updated. So, with that being said, I am more than able to pick up where I left off on this. I am sorry. Without further ado, here is the next chapter of Finding Normalcy, _The Lucky Ones_.

Chapter 7 (The 'Lucky' Ones)

"How can you stay so _calm_ through all of this?" Robbie asked while sitting beside Cat in her home. She lifted her eyes to him and shrugged. She didn't think she was calm, she was just keeping most of it in so the others didn't see her upset. Lane hadn't done anything to her when she was captive by him, so it wasn't like she needed to worry about that. There was the superintendent who showed up and started pulling her up those stairs, and that was the most traumatic moment she suffered, besides the initial abduction.

"My family's turned spiritual…" During the hostage situation, her family started taking up prayer more seriously and spent the entire time just praying for her to be okay. When she told them that she didn't suffer as much, and when the others brought her home, they believed it was the power of God that saved her. "So I've doing a lot of scripture reading and stuff. What about you? I know you suffered a lot, but you came out okay."

"I don't know that I'd say that." He leaned his head back and sighed. Cat moved her gaze to his hand and he slowly turned his head onto the side. "My hand feels a little bare these days, but it's okay, my family's keeping me active." She never thought about how Rex affected Robbie, how the puppet helped to deal with his loneliness and insecurities. How was he holding up now that the puppet was gone?

"You relied on Rex, didn't you." He lifted his eyebrows and sighed. Perhaps talking about it wasn't a good idea, but they couldn't dwell forever. She reached over and set her hand over his. He looked down at their hands and meshed his eyebrows together. "Maybe it doesn't have to be so bare, Robbie. If you ever want to talk, you know you can talk to me." He chuckled softly and closed his eyes.

"So spirituality is getting you and your family through it?" She nodded and kicked her heels up onto the coffee table. It was good to bury herself in something at the very least. Her brothers had been immensely terrified for her, and the youngest was almost always checking up on her now. Trina did as promised, she brought her back to them, and they were not ungrateful. They might have been a little too pushy, but it wasn't unappreciated by Cat.

"For the most part, yeah. It's a little surprising, but we've been going to church regularly and I've been getting counsel from the pastor. Also, a lot of counsel from the women's group." Cat rubbed her chin and smiled at Robbie, she wondered if he might get any sort of healing from the people at the church. Even though he was Jewish, it didn't really matter, it was the community of people that was helping with the healing. "You should come with us on Sunday."

"I don't know, Cat…"

"All of you should. You, Tori, Beck, Jade…everyone."

"I'm Jewish..."

"Doesn't matter, it's the _community_ that helps. Besides, it's a nondenominational church, no strings attached." Robbie seemed to contemplate the possibility. She had to wonder what it could possibly hurt, at the very least the people there would talk. The preacher was a lot better than the counselor at the school, though the counselor there was nice, she was just trying too hard. At this point, Cat really couldn't stand getting counsel from a lady. The last time she trusted a lady, Bethany screwed her over. "Nurses aren't supposed to destroy lives…" She lifted her gaze towards the ceiling and huffed, tears were starting to form in her eyes. She'd been fighting them off, but simply could not fight any longer.

"I know, Cat. I know."

"She ruined us, Robbie. She changed all of us." She leaned towards the right, resting her head on his shoulder. He was a lot quieter now, Tori was jumpy and insecure, Andre couldn't walk and was depressive, Beck didn't sleep and was even letting his appearance suffer greatly. Jade wasn't wearing her makeup anymore, maybe a little less irritable, but she didn't talk. And of all of them, _Cat_ herself was the one being strong. "How does any of this make sense? Robbie. It's not _fair_."

"I know." She finally let loose, her body trembling as tears sank down her cheeks. Robbie moved his arms around her and gently pat her back. "You've been holding it all in. Everything? It's okay to cry…" She clenched her eyes and let out her silent sobs. What really hurt was how much everyone changed, how much she and the others had _trusted _Bethany. She hurt because the others hurt, their emotions affected her. "I want to say it'll be okay, but I think the roles reversed just now…" She sniffed and shook her head, slowly lifting her gaze up.

"Sorry Robbie, I just…I don't know." It was impossible to stay completely above ground. She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "Back to…"

"What we were talking about? The church thing? I didn't mean to upset you, I think it's a great idea Cat. I really do. When I said I'm Jewish, I meant my family is Jewish. I kind of believe in the whole Messiah thing." Cat chuckled and wiped her eyes once more before reaching for the Bible on the end table. "You just have to understand, my mind is a jumbled mess these days. You know that, all of us are the same way."

"I know. The reason I want to invite everyone is because I think the counsel will help. It's a good community of spiritual people who actually care." At least the people she met at the church cared for her. There were the ingrates out there, but she'd not met anyone. It was hard to be judgmental against any of them at this point. "I just…I can't stand it, all this mess. It's the same routine every day. We all sit around the table, just staring off into space. Our teachers, our classmates, they all look at us with pity."

"We can't ever go back to the way things were."

"We can! Why _can't_ we, Robbie? Why can't we go back?" A glimpse of pain shot past his eyes. She wasn't yelling at him, but her rushed tone may have been a bit much. She believed with all her heart that they could be happy again, they just had to try. "If we stay in the same rut then no, we'll never go back, but if we _try_ to move forward then we can do it."

"I think that goes on the whole spiritual aspect of forgiveness. None of us can forgive right now. It'd be like saying that woman…what she did was-"

"What she did was _not_ okay." She understood Robbie's point and she had this conversation with her pastor already. Her words had been almost identical to Robbie's just then. She wasn't 'ready' to forgive either, but she knew what it was. "The scriptures do say that to forgive someone else is to be free of the past. Refusing to forgive is damaging to the self, not to the other person." He raised an eyebrow. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. "Forgiveness is saying you won't let this person destroy you anymore, you're moving on with your life and won't let the past haunt you."

"Okay…"

"Robbie. All I'm saying is Bethany is _dead_. She can't hurt us anymore unless we let her." She still fought the nightmares herself, and those terrors were the only control Bethany had on any of them. Robbie folded his arms over and hummed thoughtfully. "It's got to be possible to move on, Robbie. We just have to allow it."

"It has been three months, but moving on? Really? I'm still suffering my anxieties, and both you and I suffered _less_ than the others did!" Was it really less? They all suffered, end of story. "I'm pretty sure everyone's going to be put on antidepressants before anyone starts healing."

"Trust me, antidepressants are crap." She'd been on them before, they were not pleasant. "If we don't try, Robbie…if we don't talk about it…we'll never get past this. We'll be stuck where we are. Forever. Unable to heal, unable to move on. I know everyone's got their issues, but…can't we talk? We need to help each other to heal, Robbie."

"I just assumed everyone would let it off their chests when they were ready." True, she felt the same, but what everyone was doing was _avoiding_ the issue. Everyone was expecting to wake up the next day and have everything be better immediately. "Healing is a process, Cat. I'll go to church with you Sunday, but don't be surprised if the others turn it down when asked." He leaned forward and exhaled, clenching his eyes shut. "But you're right, it doesn't hurt to ask." Her heart lifted joyously, she was glad Robbie was seeing what she was talking about. It wasn't about going to Church at all, it was about trying to make that first step towards healing.

"It's a step by step process. It's painful, but if we don't try to take that first step, then how can we heal?"

"We don't." She closed her eyes, remembering the nightmares she'd been having. It was considerably hard on her thinking that Tori came so close to death. If she hadn't stopped Trina and told her that she wasn't the last person, Tori might not even be here today.

"When they kidnapped us, Robbie…" She choked up, her tears once more stinging her eyes. She felt his hand on hers and sighed as a slight spark shot up to her shoulder. "I…I was so terrified…Then everyone thought Tori was dead, I was the only one…the only one that really _looked_." Her eyelids slid open as her heart began racing in her chest. Robbie slowly nodded as she swept her eyes with her shirt sleeve. "I knew it was Tori's mom. Lane stayed longer, they confirmed it. He-He dragged me off…"

"Cat…you don't-" She snapped at him and he tensed for a split second before relaxing, understanding the situation.

"I _have_ to get this out!"

"I'm sorry. Go on, I'm here for you."

"Yeah…" She breathed in slowly and shook her head. "Lane didn't do much of anything to me. He kept me locked up in that counseling room, that's why I can't stand going in there. Then when Trina came, he knew she was there…He grabbed me by the hair and…he just pulled me…" The roots of her hair began to itch as the memory played over in her mind. "Then that man, Seth…dragged me up those steps…" She choked once more and put her head on Robbie's shoulder, weeping softly. "They say I'm the lucky one. Lucky? How the fuck am I lucky, Robbie? Can you tell me? Because apparently you're lucky too."

"I don't know, Cat. That gang mocked me, they laughed at me. They called me a baby with a puppet. I kept…I kept using Rex until they…they shoved him in some stupid wood chipper and threw me in that cage. My glasses were obviously gone. I hung there for god knows how long…Next thing I know, the cage is moving, then I hear Christy's voice trying to calm me down. I was frantic."

"How are we _lucky_?"

"We're not, but at the very least, we didn't get as damaged as the others. Tori got the worst, locked up in that leaky basement…they used her two greatest phobias against her as far as I know."

"Everyone was hurt, Robbie. Everyone was damaged. We were damaged too, even if it wasn't as bad." She moved her arms around his torso and closed her eyes, sighing as she tried to calm her frantic heart. She felt his arms around her and started to smile as a warm feeling began to flood over her.

"One step at a time, Cat…one step at a time…"

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Okay, so what do you think of the development here?


	8. Target Practice

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N: As promised, here is the coveted Chapter 8! By the way there are now 20 written chapters currently ;). Some major drama and action coming your way too, SeaIng, someone may come extremely close to death.

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Chapter 8 (Target Practice)

At the shooting range, bullets flew down high corridors and blasts rang out, giving Trina a slight sense of security. For some reason, the sound of a gun firing or a fist making contact with its target was comforting. She set her brown headphones over her ears, they were to muffle the noises around so her hearing wasn't damaged. Making her way to her usual booth at the farthest end of the building, she pushed her yellow goggles over her eyes and removed the pistol from the holster attached to her hip.

She carried a Glock 22 pistol, meaning it was a .40 caliber. It held magazines with 20 rounds and two spare magazines. It seemed best for her to come here when she was finished with her job as an apprentice. She always valued accuracy and needed to practice. She was deadly accurate in her martial arts, but being a police officer meant she needed to train her shots.

The target here was about twenty-five yards away and in the form of a shadow human on paper. She needed to be sure to get within the circles and aim for the bulls-eye. Her aim was getting better with each day she practiced, but she still only got the Bulls-eye on average of seven times out of every ten shots. She wanted _perfection_, she _strove_ for perfection. Seven out of ten was still _seventy percent_. That left thirty times out of a hundred that the culprit was still left alive and able to strike for the kill. Seventy was a _C minus_, she couldn't tolerate that. No, not when she was protecting innocent lives. A C minus wasn't going to keep Tori or her friends alive one bit. She needed an A, an A plus, preferably.

She narrowed her eyes and steadied her aim upon the target. She knew the regulation for handguns, twenty-five yards was the _max_ she should use. As Chief Michael told her, if she could consistently hit the smaller grouped targets at that range, closer targets would likely be easier to deal with. Granted, it was frustrating enough.

The targets were grouped with small red circles on the hit areas, such as the heart and the head. There were two small bulls-eyes on the lower waist region as well as the groin region. Each had about two outer circles, to determine range.

It wasn't her favorite type of target to deal with, but it worked. Aside from building her skills, this helped her to relax and calm down at the same time. She aimed for the small circle in the heart and fired ten consecutive shots, sighing as the smell of gunpowder and smoke drifted into her nostrils. She pulled her gun back and analyzed the shot, cursing as she stared at three shots that made it outside the outermost ring, one shot within the middle of the ring, and the remaining danced around the red dot with one directly centermost of the dot.

_"Not good enough." _Perhaps it was best to take it one shot at a time, to steady the aim. She grasped the handle with both hands and stretched her arm outwards. For a second, she thought her father was standing there behind her, guiding her.

"Lock your arms," he would say to her. His invisible hands grasped her elbows and straightened her arms perfectly. "Shoulders straight. Focus. Spread your legs outwards a bit, balance yourself…" Like martial arts. Her feet slid apart a ways and her back straightened with her shoulders. "Steady your hands, don't shake. The pistol will bounce back. Let it bounce, but keep your grip firm and let it return to its place. Don't fire too quickly…Analyze…It is all about control. Patience and control."

Trina breathed out slowly, focusing on the red circle once more. Her breath locked itself at her throat and her grip on the gun tightened. "Alright Dad…" She steadied her index finger on the trigger, slowly pulling it back and letting the gun fire off a shot. Her heart was still as the bullet struck the target dead center.

She did this four more times, all bullets striking the red target with deadly accuracy. "Trina, move to the forehead target…" She slowly nodded her head and carefully steadied her aim on the head target. With lethal accuracy once more, she fired another two shots, striking the target dead center. "Good. Know that as an officer you only shoot if you must." She understood the rule as explained by Chief Michael. Every shot fired by an officer's gun must be recorded. With that comes the explanation of where, when and why it was fired. "Remember, control is key. Every shot must be controlled. Just as in martial arts. The power in your hands is a very large responsibility…don't misuse and don't be too quick to react. It is the last answer, the final resort."

She closed her eyes, understanding just fine. Her father's voice stirred deep emotions inside of her. Trina loved him most of all, always 'daddy's little girl'. She _had_ to keep a strong front for Tori and her friends. They just simply didn't understand. Her fear was growing cold, she knew that wouldn't happen, but it was hard not to lose all feeling. The pain of losing her father was numbing, just as numbing as the thought of losing her little sister.

At least, Tori was the thing keeping her alive still.

A memory of her childhood flashed through her mind, of her running into her father's arms after her first day of second grade. She made a little drawing for him. He would pull her up into the air and hold her close, laughing with her as she prattled on about the nonsense of the day.

Tears stung her eyes as the memory faded. _"My daughter, I love you."_ She took a deep breath and spun around, expecting her father to be there, but he wasn't. Her eyes widened and her heart crashed to a halt. As her eyes drifted towards the side, she saw an empty area. The doorway leading out into the front area of the building and the guard at the front desk was the only evidence of anyone's presence.

She put her hand to her mouth and slowly sank down, clenching her eyes shut and weeping softly. Trina placed her gun down beside her and removed her goggles, not wanting to get her tears on them and be forced to clean them later.

Life was hardly fair, she knew that, but she never dreamed of losing her father. She always thought him to be invincible. Growing up, he was the one person she expected would live forever. Strong, gentle, compassionate. This man was everything in the world and more. "Why? Why take him…"

She felt a hand upon her shoulder and flinched, tensing as she looked up, ready to defend herself against a possible attacker. She was only relieved when she saw Christy gazing down at her. "You shouldn't sneak up on me like that, Christy…" She took a deep breath and locked the safety on her gun before pushing it into her holster and wiping her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"The guard let me back here when I told him I knew you…" The girl helped her to her feet and gave her a hug. "Sorry I startled you, I was just…Trina, will you talk about it?" She met her friend's caring gaze and started to smile, perhaps she could let her walls down just a bit for her best friend. After all, Christy knew what she was going through. "You used to always talk to me about everything you were feeling. Both me, and Jason. Now, we're watching you as if you've locked all your emotions out…"

"I know." She leaned back against the wall and Christy moved beside her. It was painful for her to admit to being wrong, but Christy was right about her, she _had_ blocked everything out. "It's just because I don't want my sister and her friends to see me upset. They've gone through so much pain and suffering that if they have to see _me _upset-"

"They would probably feel better knowing you were affected emotionally too. You're human, don't be afraid to let them know what you're going through. That way, they don't feel so alone at the same time. They lost things too."

"Yeah…" Trina moved her head against the wall and closed her eyes, exhaling suddenly and clenching her eyes. "I miss my dad, Christy. I miss him like you don't know. Every night I go to bed, I hear Tori crying herself to sleep. I'm crying too, but I can keep it down, I keep it quiet…When I was a girl, my dad was everything to me. He was Superman, Batman and Spiderman all grouped into one, you know?" Christy started to laugh and nodded her head.

"Yes, I know how much he meant to you. He's still in your heart though, but I can understand how that might not feel meaningful."

"Yeah…but Christy. Dad was _invincible_. He was supposed to be, anyway. Nothing could touch him, nothing could faze him. He was the best! All I ever wanted to be was like him. Now…now that he's gone, I-I don't know what to do anymore. I just go every day, day by day, living it slowly." She wiped away her tears as Christy put an arm around her shoulders and stared at the doorway ahead of her.

"I understand. In a way, though…he does live on. In you, he lives on." Trina raised an eyebrow as Christy looked to her with a smile that warmed her heart. Christy was always easy on the eyes and well meaning, the best person to talk to and relax. "You are so like your father, in many ways. The way you talked about him growing up, I would notice you do and say a lot of the things you say he does and say." She smiled and hugged herself, feeling the warmth of her father's love shining on her once more. She was a lot like him, she did notice that herself. "In everything you do, your father lives on. In your memory, he lives on. He's with you wherever you go."

"As long as one and one is two…"

"What?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head, still smiling at a distant memory. When I was younger, Dad used to sing me a song at nights. That song by Paul Simon _Father and Daughter_. I'm gonna watch you shine, gonna watch you grow. Gonna paint a sign, so you'll always know…As long as one and one is two…there could never be a father that loves his daughter more than I love you…" Christy's eyes brightened as Trina sang the lyrics softly. Her heart slammed against her ribs as the memory of her father singing her to sleep.

"He'll always be with you, Trina. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and cry your cry. Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings, because you know I'm here for you and so is Jason. Your sister and her friends as well. You'll be okay, Trina." She knew she'd be all right, hell she'd go crazy if she didn't have her friends by her side, but she _would_ be okay.

"Thanks Christy. You've always been a good friend. Sometimes too good."

"It's a gift." Trina laughed as her best friend smirked proudly. She had no complaints whatsoever about Christy. "Now, you're training?"

"Yeah, but I need to finish up here and get home." She rose to her feet and sighed as her eyes drifted towards the wall of officer portraits that overlooked the target range. They were portraits of fallen officers that worked for the district. Her dad's was the freshest added picture. She smiled at him and slowly nodded her head. "You're right…he may be gone, but…he'll always be here no matter what."

"Exactly." Christy hugged her one more time, then let her return to the shooting range. She wanted to get one or two more shots out before leaving. "I'll wait outside…" Trina smiled at her and watched her leave, then slowly aimed her pistol at the target, sighing heavily as she fired off another round, striking the bulls-eye once more.

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What are your observations of this chapter? We finally see Trina really breaking down, and with just how close she was to her father. Think Christy had some good advice for her?


	9. Family Dinner

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 9 (Family Dinner)

"Aunt Sonya, Grandma, Trina's home!" Trina was startled by her sister rushing over and hugging her waist. She hugged her back and looked up as Sonya and Betty walked out of the kitchen. The smell of spicy enchiladas pulled her in towards a very secure state of mind. She loved enchiladas, just like her father, she craved them. Also like her father, she always had to add a ton of jalapenos. Their mom and Tori _hated_ jalapenos, so much so that Holly would not kiss her husband until he brushed his teeth afterwards.

"Do I smell enchiladas?"

"Yep! Aunt Sonya made them." Score for the homemade enchilada recipe handed down by the grandmother. She would still like to have tried the grandmother's actual cooking, but Sonya did her mother's cooking almost exact. Most 'enchiladas' in America were done the 'texmex' way, not the 'proper' way. The Vega family did it the _proper_ way. It was still not to be forgotten that Betty was _Holly's_ mother, not Sonya and David's. Tori grabbed her hand and began pulling her towards the kitchen. "Arnold came home a little early from his classes, so we were all just waiting for you to get home. We're going to play cards after dinner!"

"Sounds fun." The card games, weren't they usually done with her friends? Sure they were a fun time for family game night and whatnot, but why hadn't Tori's friends been around? "Have you played cards with your friends lately?" Tori frowned and shrugged her shoulders.

"We've all just been doing our own things now." It broke Trina's heart to hear this, but she couldn't disagree. Nothing was going to be the same again, she acknowledged this. Too many things happened, too many things were different. "We're all…" Tori's voice faltered for a second and she slowly turned away. Trina set her hand to Tori's shoulder and smiled as her sister looked back at her.

"Give it time, Tori. Things will get better, it's always hardest darkest before dawn. They need someone to stand them up, and so do you, so do it together." Tori started to smile and reached over, hugging her once more. She was happy with her sister, proud of her as always. "Love you baby sis."

"Love you Tri." They broke apart and Tori guided her to the table. It was a large square table, large enough for two chairs on each side. Tori had her sit in the chair beside her on the western side of the table. It was funny, because there was only five of them, so they only ever had five chairs around the table. Tori almost always had her sitting on her side. The usual seating had Grandma Betty sitting on the southernmost side, Aunt Sonya at the northern side, which was closest to the stove, refrigerator, and kitchen counter. Arnold always sat across from his cousins. Arnold and Betty were already in their spots, Sonya was at the kitchen counter with the tray of enchiladas.

"Welcome home Trina," Sonya said with a smile as she carried the tray over. Trina eyed the food with hungry eyes, grasping the plate in front of her. She was practically drooling as the woman set the tray down on a wooden square, preventing the polished table from being burnt. "Now while these are beef enchiladas, I know how much you love jalapenos, so I made some for you." Sonya pointed to the enchiladas on the right of the tray. "These six are all jalapenos. The rest are ours, unless you want one of the others."

"I might have one of the others, Aunt Sonya. Thank you!" Sonya smiled at her and started to serve everyone three each. As customary, the radio was playing a light classical tune. It helped everyone to relax and wasn't so loud that it would distract from dinner conversations. As they began eating, Trina was the first to start the conversation. "So Arnold, how were classes?"

"Really good!" Sonya and Betty smiled at him and Trina took a bite of her meal, delighting in the wondrous taste of spicy hot food slipping down her throat. Her mouth was on fire already, and it was perfect. "I have a research paper I need to write about the musculoskeletal system. I know you can't talk much about the cases you're working on, but how is your apprenticeship going?"

"It's going well." She grabbed her glass of water and brought it to her lips, sipping slowly. In the background, she heard the radio shift to a commercial. An extremely famous movie director was making his rounds in LA, he would be at the strip mall for a book signing. She closed her eyes as Tori quickly looked to her, smiling brightly. As the water cooled her throat, she set the glass down and sighed. "I think it's really helping with everything I'm learning in college now. Chief Michael tells me everything I need to know and even helps me study with some of the courses." It was a good deal, perhaps soon she could be an official member of the police force. Until then, she was receiving a good fifteen bucks an hour from Chief Michael, it _was_ an official job.

"Well that's great news, Trina."

"Yep." She took another bite of the enchilada, opening one eye and noticing Tori still staring at her. "Food's great, Aunt Sonya. As always." Sonya thanked her and Trina leaned back slowly, glancing over at Tori with a slight smile. She had an idea the girl was wondering about the commercial on the radio. It wasn't that she _wasn't_ excited about it, it wasn't that she didn't _care_, but rather, there were more important things to focus on. No more did she feel like going wild over every director, no more did she want to strive for fame. She had her 'fame' already, and she hated it. "Is something the matter, Tori?"

"I-I was just wondering…you normally would have ordered everyone in the room to be quiet and turned up the radio to hear that commercial and the numbers given." Tori chuckled and took another swig of her drink. The family looked at her with the same concern. After swallowing down the water, she took a heavy sigh and lifted her shoulders.

"I have more important things to worry about now, Tori." Had she really changed that much? Tori was right, she _would have_ done that. It was all in the past, though. "I don't have a whole lot of time for that. I have to focus on my work, school, and my baby sister." Tori smiled sadly and looked down to her plate.

"I know, it's just…"

"Tell you what." She flipped her hair over and put her arm around Tori's shoulders, grinning brightly as her sister turned her eyes towards her. "If that commercial comes back on, turn the radio up for me. I still would love to hear the details."

"Really?"

"Of course!" If she could give Tori _some_ semblance of what life used to be like, she would. "Maybe I'm not as crazy as I used to be, maybe I've toned down quite a bit. I'm doing the best I can, and one thing's certain, I'll always love you baby sis."

"It's going to take some getting used to, but I get it. I love you too always will. Sisters forever!"

"Sisters forever." Tori had quite literally become clingier than she'd ever been in her life. Sure Trina was okay with it, but she really wanted Tori to strive for independence. Right now, it was okay because of the trauma, but it couldn't continue. "You know, I still don't know what I want to be after school…" Tori dipped into her food. Trina raised an eyebrow and Aunt Sonya asked the obvious.

"I thought you wanted to pursue a music career?"

"I don't know anymore, Aunt Sonya." Trina set her fork down, watching her sister poke the food and chew on a bite. "I can't…get back into the same groove. I've tried, but….I don't know."

Trina cleared her throat and put her hand to Tori's, "Singing doesn't always have to be happy songs." Tori raised an eyebrow and she withdrew her hand to return to her enchiladas. "Music is a great way to express how you feel. It's your passion, it's what you love. Don't give it up. I haven't given up my martial arts, and I'm pursuing something I've always really been interested, a career in law enforcement like my dad. Though, I really want to be an FBI agent one day."

"See, I can't say it with certainty like that, sis. I used to be able to say I wanted to be a singer…"

"What's stopping you?"

"I don't know…"

"Depression," Betty responded. Tori looked up to the elder. Betty reached over and cupped Tori's hand in hers, squeezing it gently. "If it is a passion, it will return to you. Depression blinds that which we love most of all, but eventually that same passion finds a way to be exactly what you need to move onward."

"It's funny actually, Grandma. Andre and I had that same talk…" Trina was happy to hear this, it was a sign of possible recovery beginning. If they knew they could turn to their passions, then things would be okay. "I'm scared though. What if, what if we never get out of this funk we're in?" Trina took another bite of her food as Betty continued her loving advice. The elder woman always knew the right things to say.

"You _will_. Right now you're all hurting, but good things are coming. I can see it."

"I guess." Tori slid her fork through the sauce on her plate and sighed heavily. If she wasn't going to eat, Trina had no problem eating the food for her. "I heard from Cat and Robbie today, they were calling everybody."

"And what did they say, sweetheart?"

"They asked if I wanted to join them at Cat's new church." Trina raised her eyebrows and Tori moved her fork towards her mouth. The girl rested the tips on her bottom lip and stared down at the plate with a near unreadable gaze. "They were inviting everyone. I don't know who's going and who isn't."

"You should go dear, it would help you."

"I don't know…I'm scared…they said it was just with a community of people to help us feel better. I can see how that helps Cat, but…I don't know."

"What can it hurt? Plus, it's some time to spend with your friends."

Trina closed her eyes, moving another bite to her mouth and chewing slowly. She hummed lightly as Tori turned her inquisitive gaze to her. "I say do it, Tori. Grandma's right, it can't _hurt_ anything. You don't have to talk about your experience if you're uncomfortable, but being there for your friends is great support." Tori still hadn't talked to her about the experience, so she had a feeling she wouldn't be all that comfortable talking about everything to her friends yet. Either way, she wanted Tori to support her friends, she acknowledged how important it was for her to help them to stand, and vice versa. "I can say right now, if it wasn't for Christy and Jason, I'd be one hundred percent lost. Friends are very important, they help you stand when you're falling. Your friends need you, you need them, so go for it."

"I guess…" Tori swallowed another bite, humming her contemplation. She sipped on a diet soda and sighed as she set her cup down. "You know what? You're right. I will. I still love my friends, we've all been through hell and back, so…so yeah, I should be there for them."

"Any ideas when the service is?"

"Ten thirty in the morning, I think."

"All right." Trina smirked cheerfully and opened one eye. "That leaves us plenty of time to go shopping for a nice dress for you!" Tori gushed happily and clapped her hands once, clearly excited to go shopping, even though she already had a million formal dresses to choose from. It was just a nice excuse for a little bonding time with her sister, some time to get their minds away from the hell they were free from.

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What are your thoughts and observations on this chapter?


	10. Sinjin's War

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 10 (Sinjin's War)

Sinjin gazed out the window of his office room, locking his wrists together behind his back. His eyes studied the skyline in the distance, a perfect painting that Raven would have loved. His eyes closed over as he ran his hand through his neatly combed back hair. He imagined Raven holding onto Tiffany, wearing a long white dress and with a bridal crown adorning her head, gazing out a window with the sun shining brightly on her, giving her an angelic glow. _"So beautiful, so heavenly…"_ Why was she gone from him? Why did he have to hide away from Courtney?

He put his hand to his forehead, grimacing as he remembered those cherished family dinners. His wonderful mother always had a tray of her famous lasagna ready for them. His father, always greeted by Courtney the minute he walked in through the door after a long day of work. Their father used to be a police officer, one Sinjin thought coworkers loved. It all ended in 2006, he was just fourteen when Nurse Bethany noticed something wrong with little Courtney. She'd suffered a major bullying from the kids at school because of her love for collecting insects. Bethany thought their _parents_ did it.

He remembered the fateful day like it was yesterday. May 14th, 2006. For some reason, the police refused to come. This was before these new Chiefs came into office, for perhaps they would have helped. Or no, they would have been unable. He remembered well how easily Bethany's people outfoxed the Vega family. It sent shivers down his spine, filling him with an intense, unspeakable hatred. The only thing keeping him from losing whatever humanity he had left was his precious baby daughter and little sister.

_"Sinjin!" Courtney ran into his bedroom, throwing herself onto his bed and knocking a book from his hand. Her round face was wet with tears and her body was trembling. His eyebrows moved together and he slowly sat up as she curled into a ball beside him. "Sinjin there's bad people…bad people downstairs…I'm scared. They hurt Daddy."_

_ "What!" Sinjin looked to his door, listening to the shouts of several people just outside. Fear gripped his heart as he put his hands to Courtney's arms. "Stay here."_

_ "Don't go out there big brother! Don't go out there!"_

_ "It'll be okay Courtney." He started making his way from the door that overlooked the steps. He could easily see downstairs. His father was on the ground, grasping his hip and screaming as blood ran out onto the floor. Their mother was kneeling at his side, weeping. His heart froze when he saw Nurse Bethany standing above them, narrowing her angry eyes upon them. _

_ "We'll be taking your children," Bethany said quietly while moving a 9mm Beretta pistol towards their mother. His eyes widened and he started to scream out, but someone charged up the stairs and pushed him inside his room onto his back. When he opened his eyes, he saw her, a beautiful black haired beauty with sad, tearful eyes. She had milky white skin and soft peach colored lips. Her hand covered his mouth and her eyelids slid down over her eyes._

_ "You can't fight them. I've tried. They took me and my sister a couple years ago…"_

_ "They want to take us away?" He whimpered as two gunshots echoed through the halls. Bethany shouted out to find the kids and Courtney screamed. Sinjin's heart clenched and tears shot down his cheeks. This girl didn't want him to see his parents die._

Raven helped him tremendously after their capture, she herself had to witness her parents' murder and didn't want him or Courtney having to witness it. She was always his voice of reason, always the one keeping him sane. Together they helped convince Bethany to leave Courtney alone, and she was allowed to live without the dark touch of the gang, but it was a hefty price.

Bethany had managed to pay out the police, forcing them not to respond to the distress call sent out by his father. The same thing happened with the Vega family, but they wouldn't accept a bribe from her until she found one officer somewhere that was able to _block_ the distress call. If Sinjin himself hadn't gone in and removed this, the police would never have been tipped off about the attack on the family.

Over time, he and Raven spent a lot of time together and soon they convinced Bethany to 'sanction' a date. They fell in love and wanted to get married. When Raven got pregnant, Sinjin wanted to find a way to escape the grasp Bethany had, but her chokehold was too powerful. After Raven had the baby, they had to let Courtney take her in to avoid Bethany taking it from them. The woman was ready to kill them, however, seeing potential defecting within them.

_"I had a plan organized, a way to get her and Lilith out. To get them _away_ from that psycho bitch. I was so fucking close…"_ Then Tori was abducted with all her friends. His plan for escape had to end and he had to figure a way to get Tori out of there._ "Egging Trina on seemed to work, stirring that anger inside of her and getting her to kill Bethany…but now…Raven's dead…"_

The anger inside of him was far too much to bear, even Lilith couldn't console him as she used to whenever he was forced to watch the woman he loved dragged away and beaten. Now that Bethany was dead, he was going to take out everyone responsible for her. Everyone responsible for Raven's death, for the death of his parents and her parents, and furthermore, everyone responsible for Bethany's rise to power.

_This was war_.

The corrupt police officials were done for. Sinjin crumpled a sheet of paper in his hand and slanted his dangerous glare. It was a record of everything Bethany had ever done or had ever been _accused _of. The hospital _never did anything_. The staff responsible would pay. They could have ended her! The woman was accused of assault, of malpractice, suspicions from the concerned parents who didn't like how she was acting around there children.

_Even Holly Vega filed an incident report against her!_

He wasn't going to simply blow up the hospital. No, he couldn't do that. Besides, Andre Harris was still in there. No, he was going vigilante on their asses and taking out those responsible one by one. But for this war, he knew he needed his team and they needed to assemble their teams.

Soft hands caressed his shoulders and he quickly lifted up his head as these hands slid down over his chest. "Sinjin…" Raven's honeyed voice danced like wondrous music in his ears. His eyes stung as he clenched them tight and looked away. He could feel her hovering close to him, whispering into his ear. "This war. You don't have to do it. You can still live. Tiffany needs her father…Courtney needs her brother. Take care of them, take care of Lilith too. I know that girl can handle herself, but she's my sister."

"I won't let anything happen to her…just like I will not let anything happen to Tori or her friends."

"A sign of your humanity, no doubt…even still, Bethany's dead. This war won't do any good."

"The hell it won't." He turned around, glaring ferociously into the eyes of his fiancé's ghost. "These people have to _pay_, Raven. The things they've done, the people responsible for the crimes that Bethany committed. I'm waging war against _them_, Raven. They're not innocent."

"Sinjin, I understand, but you're trusting people who do not care. This war won't help, they're going to misuse you. They're going to take advantage of you. Leave now, don't do this."

"It matters not, Trina's already investigating my whereabouts. She's trying to locate a body, she'll find me eventually." He knew this as he was always watching over his little sister and his daughter. Raven had a point, he knew in his heart she was right, how was he to watch over them if he was busy with this war? With this anger? His heart couldn't be appeased, he couldn't bounce back from what Bethany did. "I'd love for things to go back to the way they were, Raven, but I can't see it."

"It _can_ happen. You and Trina aren't that different, and you know it." His facial features tensed and he shut is eyes, unable to look her in the face. "This war isn't going to satiate your anger. Be with your daughter and your sister, be with Lilith. Lilith, she cares about you too. This is all painful for her as it is me, seeing you go through this."

"So you've become a conscious?"

Raven lifted her hand, touching his cheek and generating a spark that shocked him. He lifted his hand over hers and caught her mournful gaze. "I don't want to see something happen to the man I love. I don't want our baby to be without her father. You should know, we both were without our parents." He breathed in slowly, yearning for her touch. If he attempted to kiss her, if he attempted to hold her, would she merely evaporate into a mist?

"Raven…"

He began to lift his hands to her waist, pausing only when he heard footsteps outside the door. His heart broke as Raven vanished entirely and the front door flew open. "Sinjin." Lilith strode in, meeting his eyes with a look of genuine concern. Her lips were twisted into a frown and her eyes held the same sadness of Raven's. "The teams are assembled. Are you sure you want to go through this? Ying is…Ying is suggesting prison riots…"

"Why does she want that?"

"In order to steal prisoners and stir confusion for the police." He lowered his hands into his pockets. He didn't feel right about it, he simply wanted to steal prisoners as they were doing. It would take a while, sure, but it was better than instigating prison riots. "I don't know about any of this, Sinjin. I have to be honest, I don't think Raven would approve." He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head. Those two sisters were always alike. "I mean, I'm angry too. Granted I'm _pissed_ that Raven's dead, and I want to go after these people as much as you do, but what is there really to do? We have an opportunity to live free."

"Trina is relentless, she'll find us either way. She'll probably kill each and every one of us."

"Not if we explain! If we explain to her…maybe there's a chance she can sanction our freedom." Lilith stepped up beside him, pausing as she looked down at his shoulders, then taking a slight step back. There was a huff in her voice, disguising the sadness. "This isn't you, Sinjin. This isn't like you. Raven knew your anger, she knew this would happen if something went wrong. Just please…think about it. We can heal, I know we can..."

"Would it even matter, Lilly?" He turned around as she lifted her hand to reach out, then lowered it back down. He narrowed his eyes at the skyline outside, thinking about the people in his team. Were they really unstable? Could they really be trusted or were they not to be trusted? "Ying, Niu, Venus, Lane…can they be trusted?" Lilith paused, bowing her head.

"I don't know. I don't trust them, to be honest, and Ying just pisses me off." True, Lilith was never one to be soft on _anyone_. She was soft with him, but that was different, they had history together. The rest she had reason to hate, they were all part of the gang that destroyed their lives. "It's ironic though…"

"What is?"

"You want to take out everyone responsible for what Bethany did to us, but your team to do this is consisted of four people associated with that very gang."

"That's why I keep them close…I know they're not to be trusted…but I want to know how much…"

"Ying's deranged and has it in her mind that she can just talk to her daughter. She still hates Trina, still hates Tori, and I can see in her eyes that she doesn't like that you've forbidden any harm going to them." He felt a spike of irritation and slowly cracked his neck, sighing heavily as she continued. "Venus is pissed about her husband, but she doesn't seem to have malicious intentions in mind. Lane…I think he's still sore about losing his job…"

"He had to realize that was going to happen."

"I think he's planning an attack on Hollywood Arts, though. I don't know, I hear him muttering in his room all the time about the school." Lilith was the top spy in the group, she was best at hiding and maintaining disguises. He wouldn't want to throw her into danger without first realizing she could do the job, but this had to be delicate.

"I want you to do something for me." He looked over his shoulder and saw her looking up at him with a tiny smile. "Watch those four. Whatever they intend, whatever they do, I want to be the first to know."

"Okay...just, let me know if you ever change your mind." He watched her spin around and walk out, her long ponytail swayed over her shoulders and swung like a pendulum. With a smile, he glanced back to the window. A sigh left his lips and his forehead touched to the window as he thought onto Courtney and Tiffany.

"I'm sorry…this is something I feel I have to do…" The line between good and evil was always immensely blurred.

* * *

Your thoughts?


	11. Lost

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 11 (Lost)

Beck rubbed his forehead and sighed as he thought on the offer Cat and Robbie gave. He wasn't keen on the idea of going to church, but he was willing to do it. Jade, however, turned it down. He understood why she did, because of what she'd gone through. He never knew she was adopted until recently, and when she opened up to him about what she went through, they spent a good amount of time crying together. He wanted to take care of her, to be there for her, but he knew it would be a long journey for her.

The worst thing that happened to him was getting sliced through the eye in that initial attack. Whenever he thought of it, whenever he touched his eye patch, it sent a shiver down his spine. The images were still there, he could practically _feel_ the cold hard steel cutting into his retina. A whimper left his lips as he closed his one eye and thumbed the course edge of the patch. Then came the disbelief as the image of Mrs. Vega remained glued to his brain.

How was it Cat was the only one to realize it wasn't Tori? They all played right into Bethany's hands in instilling anger within Trina, to lure her in. She practically died to save her sister. There was definitely a bond between those two that none of them saw before, and it was surprising! He didn't know anything about Tori's past before then. Now that they knew she almost drowned in some cave, and Trina saved her, they understood. Tori didn't go into detail, and she probably never would. It was only a month ago that the issue was even brought up.

_"Why did you never tell us how close you were to each other?" Jade asked Tori, as the group sat around their usual table. The others looked at the girl with the same wonder. Beck was astonished that Tori never bothered to even tell them off. Jade was on the same page as he was. "All these times we've ridiculed her, made fun of her, harassed her and called her an idiot…" Tori tensed and clenched her eyes shut, whimpering with each phrase Jade dished out. "You never told us off. Why?"_

_ "B-Because you were my friends. I didn't want to be 'uncool' or something to you guys." It looked like Jade was doing everything possible not to yell at the girl, so Beck decided to calm things down by taking over this conversation._

_ "She's still your sister. You should defend her, no matter what. If we said something bad about Cat's brother that she's always going on about, she would say something." Cat agreed with a nod. Tori took a slow deep breath. Her body had a light shake to it, for some reason this was an uncomfortable topic to breach. "What's wrong, Tori? We're not judging you, we just wanted to know…"_

_ "I know! It's just, you guys wouldn't understand. I love Trina, I love her more than anything."_

_ "She loves you too, she would take a bullet for you."_

_ "I know, I know, and that's why I feel so guilty!" The group frowned as Tori started folding a napkin on the table. It was an attempt to distract herself, everyone in the group was beginning to pick up small habits and oddities to distract themselves from the reality they were in. "I never should have let comments fly, I know, and I won't. I told her that. She…she saved my life, more than once. You know I…I almost drowned once before." His eyebrows shot up and the others stared in silent shock at this sudden news. "When we went to a cave, I almost drowned and she got me out. I'm always clinging to her, always trying to follow her, and I followed her to Hollywood Arts. I think…I think I forgot for a minute…I'm not better than Trina is, she's stronger than I am. She may not be the best singer, the best dancer, she might not even be the best actress, but she's my sister…and she's the best at that." _

_ "If it makes you feel any better," Robbie began in a slow and patient tone of voice, "We won't make fun of her anymore. I mean, I don't see how any of us can anymore, anyway…"_

_ Jade closed her eyes and shook her head, "She saved us all. Then, there's no way to pay her back. We owe her our lives, and we all treated her like crap."_

_ "I say we start treating her with the respect she deserves. It's the least we can do after all she's done for us…"_

Trina didn't want to be seen as a hero, Beck knew that well from the way she was acting. She wanted things to be normal just as much as everyone else did. She engrossed herself in her work, which was exactly what she was going to be coming over for. Beck was going to open up a little about his experience, he felt he needed to tell her the truth of Raven and Lilith. Those two girls didn't do anything to him, nothing more than locking him up in a cage the instant Trina came to the beach. He knew about the whole shark thing, Raven was simply going to set him free after having a match with Jason or Trina. She wanted to measure their skills.

Hearing a knock at the door, Beck rose up and opened it, smiling vaguely as Trina walked inside. Chief Michael rolled in with her. He studied the cluttered mess that was the RV, Beck really had lost all motive to keep things neat and tidy. He just didn't care anymore. Trina waved her hand in front of her nose and slowly sat down on his couch. "So, you had some information?" He nodded and sat beside her, breathing in slowly.

"Yeah, about Raven and Lilith." This was not a difficult memory to talk about, but his heart was racing as he listened to Michael shifting through a notepad. Trina asked if he was comfortable with Michael in the room. Beck nodded and cleared his throat. "Raven and Lilith, they weren't _bad_ people. Suffice to say, I don't think Sinjin was either." Trina's jaw dropped for a minute before she collected herself and looked to Michael, then back to Beck.

"Are you _sure_ about that? What happened to you? I understand if you're not comfortable-"

"Nothing. Happened." He closed his eyes, remembering the memory of when he arrived at the place. He'd been drifting in and out of consciousness the entire time until Trina got there. Even after, he'd still been drifting in and out for a few days. A neurosurgeon had to check him and give him repetitive MRIs and it was found that he wasn't too damaged but did have a major concussion. "I…I'll tell you everything you need to know…word for word…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm ready…"

_When he arrived at the beach house, there were three people there. Lilith, Raven, and shockingly, Sinjin too. "So they saddled you girls with Beck," Sinjin muttered. Lilith chuckled and teased Sinjin about being jealous that Raven had to watch over the 'hottest' guy at Hollywood Arts. Sinjin smirked and wagged his eyebrows. "Not like I'm concerned, I know Raven's got my heart." He put his arm around Raven's waist and kissed her lips. Raven pulled back after a second and smiled at him._

_ "Yeah. It sucks though, we're dealing with this…" Beck watched the three and looked down at the chair he was tied in. Did they not think he would try to escape? They were probably right, he was frightened and his anxiety level had risen. He felt Raven finger the scar around his eye and quickly turned his head away. "I can't believe Bethany did that…but then, I'd be lying if I said I didn't believe it…" Sinjin shrugged his shoulders and folded his arms._

_ "He'll live. This is a bit of a setback sure, but I'll still figure a way to get us away from this gang and away from Bethany. All I want is for you two to be safe, for Courtney and Tiffany to be safe." Beck gasped and looked up to Sinjin._

_ "Who is Tiffany?"_

_ "Their daughter," Lilith answered. "My wonderful niece!" Lilith grinned brightly and bounced once on her feet. "When we get away from Bethany, then we're going to all have a great life together."_

_ "Why do you even work for her? I don't understand, if you don't want to work for her then why do you?"_

_ Sinjin closed his eyes and shook his head, "If only it were that easy. We're forced into it. Not that it matters, I've still got a plan. I'm going to let myself get arrested, so I'm out of Bethany's line of sight for a while, probably get away from there and watch to make sure the gang falls and then I'm going to get my girls out." _

_ "What then will you do with me?"_

_ "Nothing," Raven replied, "We're not like the other captains. We value honor in spite of anything else. I personally don't have any interest in hurting anyone."_

_ "Only the people that deserve it," Sinjin remarked. _

"Only the ones that deserve it?" Trina asked. "What does that mean?"

"I think he has some sort of vendetta." Beck couldn't be sure, he never really was able to read Sinjin all that well. There was always that angry look in his eyes, like he was lusting for revenge. "I once heard him complaining to Raven over the phone about all the corruption that led Bethany to where she was."

"You think he might have tried to go vigilante?"

"Seems capable. You did…you had to protect your sister. He had Raven, Lilith, his own sister, and a daughter. If he still thinks any of them are in danger, I wouldn't be surprised if he _does_ go vigilante to protect them."

_"They're here already?" Lilith asked as she and Raven sat around the underwater desk. Beck had been given commodities and comfort, which was surprising to him. He had a bed and was given food, Sinjin and the girls had been good with their hospitality. He didn't even try to escape, he had been told that Trina was making her way from base to base and retrieving the hostages, so there was no point in running._

_ "Apparently." Raven was busy glaring over a sheet of paper. Beck was sitting in the corner of the room, reading a book, but he could hear them loud and clear. "Lilly, look at this! Even Mrs. Vega reported Bethany to the hospital staff. There were numerous complaints about her, numerous complaints to police officers that turned a deaf ear." Beck glanced over, tears were running down Raven's cheeks and her body was shaking. Lilith had her hand over her stomach. This was terrible news, even to him. "Sinjin won't like this…"_

_ "What do you think he'll do?"_

_ "These are the names of police officers, of well known doctors and lawyers. No one is going to take action against them." Raven looked up through the hardened glass dome and growled. "Lilith, distract them. Uh, rile them up a bit…I kind of want to test Trina. I haven't had a good sparring match in a while."_

_ "What? You want to spar one of them?"_

_ "Trina preferably, but yeah." She looked over to Beck and grinned. "Hey? How do you feel about acting the damsel in distress?" He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, uncertain if it was a good idea to do with Trina. "We have a cage and a little hole with sharks. Don't worry, no one's going to get hurt here and I won't let you get eaten. I just want to see if these guys can actually take out Bethany." _

_ "Sounds fine to me…" _

"And then I lost consciousness again." Trina and Michael were frozen, the news they'd heard must have been huge for them. It didn't seem all that huge to _him_, though he knew Trina probably didn't like hearing that Raven only wanted to test them. "I woke up and saw Raven was in the shark pit…that uh…that gave me some nightmares."

Trina put her hand over her mouth and clenched her eyes shut. "My god we killed her." Really it was Jason, but either way, he wasn't burdening her with technical details. "Jason said it was an accident. She wouldn't let him pull her out of the water." She shook her head and cleared her throat. "No matter. We need that list that Raven had."

"Agreed," Michael nodded and tapped his pen in the air. His eyes were full of anger and resentment. The man was clearly feeling betrayed by some of his own officials. "People are going to lose their jobs for ignoring those reports against Bethany. I'll have some thrown in jail for it if I have to."

"In the meantime, Mike…" Trina sucked in a deep breath and slowly rose to her feet. "We need to prepare for the possibility that Sinjin may still be alive and going after them. Maybe we can offer him some semblance of peace?" Michael raised an eyebrow and Trina narrowed her eyes. "He's been through hell by the sound of it, if so, arresting him isn't going to do a thing. I suggest giving him a chance at recovery. Just like my little sister and her friends, everyone needs time to recover."

"I understand your point, but I'm not sure. I guess we will have to determine that soon enough…" What was this all about now? Beck was curious, _was_ Sinjin a threat? He knew the others were greatly concerned about him, the possibility of him being alive was a scary one. Maybe not as frightening to him as the others, but still, he didn't want to be the one to inform them.

"You think Sinjin might try to come after us?" Beck asked. Trina rubbed her chin, contemplating her answer.

"It doesn't sound like he cares about any of you, actually. Through your tale, it seemed he was more concerned about the girls. However, if he is angry, I may want to tell Jason…but everyone deserves a chance at recovery, and I think, maybe I could use his family. If we're cut of the same cloth, then he cares about his sister as much as I do for Tori." Trina cleared her throat once more and gave him a reassuring smile. "But thank you for telling me of this, it was a big step and I'm glad you were able to take it."

"Yeah…"

"You know where to find me if you need anything else."

"Thanks…" He smiled sadly as Trina and Michael made their way out minutes later. He was grateful for Trina's listening skills, but a part of him wished the pain he felt inside would end with opening up. Not only could he never see again out of one eye, he would never be able to go into the military and carry on his dreams. He might not be an actor. He might be nothing. So then, what was the point?

As he looked out into his smelly and cluttered RV, then broke into a silent sob. Raven and Lilith were blessings in disguise for him, helping him not to think about the fact that he'd never see again. Now, he had nothing to do _but _think about it. If not for Jade, he probably wouldn't still be here. She was able to help keep his own depression down. How long would that last, really?

What were the chances of him _ever_ healing? Slim, it seemed to him. So, with that being said, what was the point of fighting? Where was _his_ hope of a future?

_Gone_…

* * *

So what do you think about Beck's testimony there? Let's not forget this story is about _everyone's_ recovery, so presumingly that means Sinjin as well. Beck's not doing well though, seems he's lost all his hope.


	12. The Support Group

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

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Chapter 12 (The Support Group)

Trina sat beside her sister in the small circle formed by the group at the church where Cat's family was going, she honestly didn't see how helpful this was going to be, but it was worth a shot. Beck, Cat, and Robbie were there, but neither Andre or Jade felt like getting involved. Andre wouldn't have been able to even if he wanted, so perhaps that was one of the reasons he turned down the offer. Trina believed in the spiritual aspect of healing, but she also believed in pacing. It was not possible to force someone into healing.

"Let us first pray," Began a woman with curly blonde hair. Trina raised an eyebrow as everyone reluctantly bowed their heads. There were about twenty people in this room, not counting Tori and her friends. This woman seemed like the type of person to try and push healing, so this could either go well or end very badly. Her main concern, still, was Tori. Her mind was preoccupied with the cases she was working on, sure, but she was trying not to focus on them so much right now. "Father we thank you for the community of people here to help our friends heal. We know they've been through a rough patch in their lives, we _understand_ their plight-"

Trina started to scoff, but kept from doing so, believing the woman meant well. How on earth could she expect to 'understand' any of them?

"-We ask that you lift their broken hearts into your tender loving arms and breathe your love over them. Heal their wounds and raise their spirits." When was this prayer going to end? It sounded so scripted. She was a believer, but she believed in the heartfelt prayers that didn't sound so _typical_. If she hadn't heard this same basic prayer said a million times before for every single wounded and dead person in the world, then she would think it to be more heartfelt. Or perhaps, she was just too quick in judging this person. This session was likely not for her. "We know time heals all wounds, faith in you as well, we lift their troubled souls up that you may watch over them and protect them. Jesus name, amen and amen."

_"I gave up a day of investigation for this?" _Trina looked to her sister as Tori lifted up her head and smiled. With a heavy sigh, she rolled her eyes and turned her lips up as well. _"Well it's only fair, I need to be here and support her. She did ask me."_

"Nothing is too great for God," the woman told them. Sure. Nothing was too great for God. Where was He when her father was overpowered and murdered? Yeah, God was there, but no amount of prayer stopped the killers from taking his life. No amount of prayers stopped her mother from being murdered in cold blood. "God will heal you."

_"Stop sounding like a cult before I knock off your block. Forgive me Lord, but this woman is seriously trying my patience." _She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and put her elbow to the arm of the chair, resting her closed fingers on the temple of her head. She studied Tori and her friends. Tori was sitting straight, a smile on her face but with her sad eyes betrayed that smile. Beck looked largely uncomfortable, unable to make eye contact with the woman. Rather, his eyes were drifting off into space and his hand was closed beneath his chin.

Cat was leaning forward in her chair, nodding her head as the woman talked. She was reading the scripture, out of the Book of Romans. Robbie looked mildly interested, occasionally glancing off. They didn't need a sermon. Before she could say anything, one of the other people in the group stopped her. It was the Pastor. He smiled kindly at the woman and rested his hand on the bible.

"Your heart is in the right place, but these children don't need the scripture as much as they just need comfort." Trina was impressed, but usually pastors had clear heads. The man ran his hand through his short silver hair and smiled kindly at Tori and the others. "Now I want to welcome you here. I apologize, Cat didn't ask you here for a bible study…" The woman closed the book and sighed as the friends all made eye contact with her pastor. "Now, I don't expect you all to be comforted all the time, I don't expect you to be too comfortable even now, but I want to do my best to make sure that you are." Trina was beginning to like this guy, he _definitely_ had the clear head that was necessary for this. His warm smile was a comfort even to her and his eyes held a valid look of concern. "As you know, I'm Pastor James, I'm glad you decided to come and talk. Cat's right, community is a great way of healing. You don't have to open up about your experience, but at the very least, we want to be here for you."

"It is hard sometimes," Tori answered first, "I sometimes have trouble talking to anyone about anything. I mean…when you've gone through what I have, it's hard to think anyone cares…" Tori dipped her eyes down and someone reached over to pat her shoulder. She flinched and recoiled her shoulder back, so the person withdrew their hand. "Sorry. I don't like to touched. Strangers, that is." Pastor James nodded his head and cleared his throat.

"I understand. By no means do I want you to feel uncomfortable. I do want you to know, though I am not sure how much of a comfort it can be, tragedy does surround us all. For many, it's hard to see how much influence God has in our lives after that." James put his hand to his chest. "I'm not here to convert you, I'm not here to preach to you. It is also my job to counsel. To provide a community of people who will be here for you if you ever need that guidance." Tori nodded her head and the others started to turn towards the man, becoming a bit more interested in him than they were the woman. "Now I'm sure this doesn't compare. When I was young, I had to witness my father passing. It hit me hard for a very long time, and I lost sight of many things. I turned to other things in my depression, I didn't find the good Lord until college."

"God help you through your struggles?" Beck asked, shifting a bit in his seat. He still had a numb look in his eyes. His hair was, once again, scraggly like before. When was he going to take a comb to that once heavy mane? Pastor James leaned back in his chair and glanced up in thought. He closed his eyes and started to smile.

"While I will say yes, a common misconception many people have when they go to church and expect it to end all of their problems is…some problems don't simply go away. God wants for you to be strong, He wants for you to make it through every trial and come out stronger than before. As a child, when you went up to your dad and tell him of a bully, what would he say?"

"Simple," Cat answered before Beck. "Stand up for yourself, don't get into a fight but don't let the bully push you around."

"Correct, your father won't fight your battles for you because you won't grow. In the same way, God takes your troubles and he helps guide you. That little voice in the back of your head telling you what way to go…but _you_ have to take those steps. _You _have to move. Trust Him to lead you the right way, but you need to have the strength. For me, one of the things I turned to was alcohol. I had a massive problem with it, every day I had a bottle of whiskey in my hand." The group all looked astonished at their pastor, but let him continue his story. "I was skeptical when I first heard of God. But with nothing else to lose, I prayed to him…every day I prayed. When I wanted to drink, I prayed. Oh I could have easily prayed, God would have heard, and I would have grabbed another bottle. But _I_ had to have the strength to turn away from that bottle. Eventually I did exactly that. I prayed for the strength to let go of the past, to stop being as angry as I was, and I started on my way to my own recovery. Friends were important, they always are crucial in any recovery. All of you are fortunate, you each know what the other has gone through."

Beck rubbed his shoulder and exhaled slowly, "That is true…" Pastor James extended his hand, palm upwards and nodded his head.

"Exactly. What I'm offering here is just a community of people who can be some extra friends. They may not have been through it, but a lot will understand trauma. Believe me when I say you can heal."

"Yeah," the woman replied, "I apologize if I came on strong. I was simply in the mental state of bible study. As we're having this in place of usual Sunday school. I know when it's appropriate and inappropriate to just break into scripture." Trina raised an eyebrow and chuckled under her breath, she was amazed that _now_ it seemed more like this was a laid back church. "Pastor James is right, we just want to be that spiritual support group if you'll allow us to be. We don't want to push you into where you're uncomfortable, but we do want to at least help you heal."

"It sounds good." Robbie nodded and motioned over to Cat with a smile, "I'm glad she invited us. I mean, I was a little nervous at first…my family's Jewish, so when I told them about Cat's offer they were a little hesitant, but willing." Someone else in the group decided to speak, a short bald man with side burns.

"I'm also Jewish, this church is open to people of all denominations and religion. We don't try to convert or tell people they're wrong. This is a Bible church. We preach out of the old and new testaments, and that's it. We believe in letting people make their own decisions, to speak for themselves."

"Well then, that does sound good. Maybe…maybe it can be a step."

Trina was now strangely comfortable with these people. She accepted them, they wanted to help, it was genuine. A 'spiritual support group' likely would be very helpful for Tori and for the friends.

It wasn't the best thing for _her_, but then, she dealt with her issues in other ways. At least she wasn't alone in helping these people to heal. She smiled as the group continued to chat on. No one was ready to open up about their experiences just yet, and that was understandable, but it was a fantastic first step.

_"All right God, maybe I was wrong. These are your people after all, they mean well. Just…take care of my sister and her friends. Please remind these people the importance of not pushing too hard and too fast. I want you to heal my sister, her friends, and I trust you to…"_

Of course it was going to take a lot of time, she herself was never one for patience, but it was best. She'd do everything she could to help, so long as she were able.

* * *

The first bold step in healing it seems, what do you think?


	13. Trina's Heart: Handle with Care

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N: This chapter deals a bit with an adult topic, one that is broached eventually in almost any and every relationship. There isn't any mature material or a lemon (I refuse to write one), but it gets close towards the end. Read with an open mind.

* * *

Chapter 13 (Trina's Heart, Handle With Care)

"This is the fifth date we've been on that you beat me up, is this going to be a trend?" Jason asked as he and Trina drove along the streets of LA. Trina laughed heartily and glanced over to Jason in the passenger seat. They began their date at the martial arts studio where they sparred, and of course, Jason lost. Although it was quite close, if he had ducked when he forgot to duck, he might have managed to counter her punch. "Granted the abuse is _so_ worth it."

"Wouldn't call losing a sparring match." Jason smirked at her and wagged his eyebrows, giving her a flirtatious look.

"Is it abuse if I get turned on?" Trina laughed once more and smacked him upside the head. Of course they did have some moments of sexual tension. It usually occurred during sparring matches, with one pinning the other down. Seeing the person they love, a hot and sweaty mess above them, with their uniform hanging loosely from their toned body. It took everything not to pull them down on the spot and just lose oneself. Trina would let him take her, that was how serious their relationship was, but she knew it was best they not have sex right now. They could joke about it all they wanted, but sex was out of the question.

"Probably not, but I figure if you can't handle me on the battle mat, how can you handle me in bed?" She smirked back at him, watching his cheeks go red. The chances of pregnancy due to sexual activity was a risk she didn't want to make. She was far too busy with work, among other things. Often she wondered, what would it hurt? If he used a condom and she used birth control, what would it possibly hurt? It was often said that the emotion and the act itself was great for stress relief. As much as she wanted to open herself up for that first time, she was afraid. "We may never find out, I don't think your uncle would _possibly_ allow for it."

"Oh, _ouch!"_ His dimples deepened as he laughed. It was so easy to use Sikowitz against him. "Now I see why Christy never tags along on these dates whenever we offer."

"It _is _a rather torrid affair, isn't it?" Torrid? Steamy? Perhaps, but she loved the tension. Rather, she _craved _it. At least they could control their passions and lust. Jason never once asked that she open herself up like that or let any of those walls down, and she respected that. Christy seemed glad for it too, that Jason wasn't going to be one of those men to pressure her into sex. "I guess she just trusts us. God knows if you were one of those men all about sex, you'd have to deal with her."

"Oh!" Jason closed his eyes and winced. She raised an eyebrow and smirked as he shook his head. "Yeah I just had the misfortune of seeing her using her sword chop off some very important parts of my body that I would enjoy keeping. You know, should I ever decide to get married and actually have kids one day." Trina snickered and turned onto the beach. "She doesn't know about our usual romps does she?"

"Oh dear lord no." Not even Tori knew, but the tension in her relationship with Jason was actually a lot stronger than they would ever be willing to admit to. In retrospect, the jokes and teases often helped to relieve the tension. "Can you imagine what she would say?"

"I spend more time imagining what she would do."

The truth of the matter? They came close before, _very _close. In the forest behind the dojo one day weeks prior, they were sparring together and letting off some steam. She had him pinned down with her hands on his forearms stretched out like a cross. They were breathing heavily and her hair was falling down before her sweat drenched face and body. Her uniform literally felt like it was about to drop off her body.

Without thinking of their predicament, she collapsed into him, kissing him with tenderly. A tender kiss turned passionate and he rolled her onto her back, his hands on her hips and hers around his neck. As they began losing themselves, letting down all inhibitions and forgetting of everything around them, she was letting her fingers slip beneath his shirt. Her top had become open, revealing her breasts to him for the first time since the hotel bathroom, though he hadn't looked then. Embarrassed still, they were too far into what they were doing to notice. Her cell phone had gone off, Tori was calling. That was the only thing that stopped them. They picked themselves up after realizing what they were doing, then went home separately.

Clearly they talked about this after it happened and decided that if things ever got that way again, they needed some kind of signal to know when it was getting too far.

Since then, they did actually make out and it would go far enough that they were close to just losing all control. When they approached that point, they would have their 'code word' ready in their mind. One or both would say the word their martial arts instructor used to mean 'separate' or 'break', and that was _Gal Ryeo_. It was almost like a drug for them, though, or more for her than anything. She loved the feeling it created, she loved his touch on her body and the tendency it gave to simply remove all that was stressing her out. Temporary satisfaction, but it seemed to give some strength to their relationship. Or at least, it built trust. He would _never_ take advantage of her, and she would never let him. Even if she couldn't control the outside world, she could very well control her own body.

Yes, she understood the risks it gave, the potential to forget their code word and go too far, breaking the point where they would stop.

"Anyway, we're going to be hitting my favorite place growing up." She parked her car by the beach and moved with him to the trunk of her car, pulling out all the items needed for their picnic. "A little secluded area of the beach where only I know about. I think Tori might know, but I don't know. We haven't been out here in a long time."

"So I'm the first person you're showing your secret hideaway to?"

"Yep."

"I feel honored."

"Good! You should be!"

They made their way to her favorite spot. It was a small little alcove hidden by a mountain and a large pile of rocks that she had to climb over. Whenever she would go over this large pile of rocks, she'd see a horseshoe framed area of the beach that was approximately fifteen feet in length from wall to wall and twelve feet from mountain to ocean. As a little girl, she'd always hide out here. When playing hide and seek with Tori, she'd cheat sometimes by hiding back here. "When we were kids, Tori couldn't climb these rocks like I could, so she never thought to look back here when playing hide and seek."

"Really?" Jason hopped down from the rocks and smiled as he looked out to the ocean. "It's really beautiful. Thanks for showing me this area."

"Of course. Help me spread out the blanket and strip down to the bathing suit. That is, if you want to go swimming." He nodded and helped her move the large blanket over the beach. It was a raggedy old grey blanket that was never to be used on an actual bed, so there was no issue getting sand on it. They set the picnic basket down and began removing their uniforms.

She eyed Jason with a slight smirk, studying his well toned and tanned muscles. His elastic blue bathing shorts looked like an ocean in their own right, and his body was the attractive sand that beckoned her to enter into its comfort. She cleared her throat and shook away the daze, removing her own uniform and folding it up carefully. She was in a black two piece bathing suit. She still had some battle scars from before that she was self conscious about, but she never feared Jason seeing them. He was always gentle and caring, not like so many who might get the wrong idea with those scars.

Jason looked over at her, his eyes lamenting over one of those scars. Subconsciously she guided her hand over it on her waist and smiled sadly. "Those were some extremely dangerous fights back there."

"Yeah…" He reached over, gently setting his hand over the scar and running his thumb over it. "I know you said you had to go it alone, but…I wish more than ever I had still gone with you when you went to get your sister."

"I know. I couldn't risk losing you Jason, we've been over this."

"I know that." He still blamed himself sometimes, even though none of it was his fault. She put her hand on his and smiled as he moved his gaze up to hers. "You are still the most beautiful woman."

"I love you, Jason." She reached up and kissed the corner of his lips. "Let's sit and eat, all right?"

"Right." They sat down and began unpacking several subway sandwiches. They simply drove past a Subway restaurant, that was their excuse of a picnic. Subs, Lay's barbecue chips, and a couple bottles of water. They both had a toasted Italian BMT sub. "So how's college going?" She flipped her hair over her shoulder and bit into her sandwich, chewing slowly before swallowing.

"It's going. Math is rough, but I'm getting the hang of it all."

"That's good. I think you'll be great."

"How about you?" He was wanting to be a personal trainer now, but that would be a side job. He wanted to be a professor in kinesiology at a college. This involved martial arts, archery, or any other basic physical activity elective. Mostly, he wanted to teach martial arts.

"A lot better than I thought I'd be doing!" She laughed and watched him take a bite of his sandwich. She admired the way the sun glistened on his bare shoulders and chest, accentuating his muscular tone. "My English Lit instructor laughs like a freakin' mad scientist. You know what's strange?"

"What?"

"You'd think I'd be used to that when my uncle _looks_ like one."

"Touché. In all fairness, your uncle just looks that way to give people an image of him that is false."

"Yep."

They weren't sure how much time passed as dinner went on, they even took a dip in the ocean and had some time to splash each other several times. Trina was still a strong swimmer, so he could never quite catch her whenever she got him to chase her. All in all, this was one of the happiest she'd been in such a long time.

Towards the end of their date, they were against the mountain wall overlooking the ocean. It was oddly comforting despite their bare backs against the rocks. Although, the rocks were relatively smooth on this portion, so it wasn't as though there were any points stabbing her back. "I don't want this to end," Trina said in a quiet voice, "I don't want to have to go back to that daily drama."

"It is life, unfortunately. I wish this wouldn't end either."

"You going to take my advice?" She looked over to him with a subtle smile. His arms were folded over his waist and his firm chest was moving slowly outwards and inwards. The sun beat down on his waterlogged body, giving him a shinier, attractive coating. His shorts were now clinging tightly to his body due to the ocean water shriveling them up like a prune.

"I guess. I don't want to, but I understand the concern." She couldn't be sure if he'd undergo any danger or not, so she suggested he and his uncle take a vacation. It was for their own safety. He looked over at her and smiled. "If you think it's best."

"Yeah…" She met his eyes and slowly crept her foot towards him. It was an unconscious move, but she craved his arms around her. "I don't want anything happening to you. If Sinjin's really angry over Raven's passing…"

"I know I'd go after anyone responsible for your death. So that's why I respect your decision, but at least, stay safe."

"I will. It's my job, still…dangerous, yes, but I'll be fine."

"Oh I know you will be." His lips tucked up into a handsome smirk, tempting her gaze. Her heart began pounding. She slowly moved her hand up to her hair, running her fingers through the now stringy and wet mop that was on her head. His eyes had a twinkle to them as he studied her gaze. "I'd be more afraid for the person that goes against you. I think everyone knows they'd rather have you as a friend than an enemy."

"Maybe." Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes glazed over his soft lips. His eyebrow raised up. She could feel his eyes upon her, admiring her as she did him. How long were they standing there, admiring one another? With each passing second, she felt a fire spiraling within her, spawning a deep rooted desire. She swallowed down the hiccup in her throat and ignored the tension within her chest. "I uh…Do you think you and your Uncle…"

"We'll probably find a hotel somewhere. Not so sure I can stay away from you for too long without coming right back."

"Don't forget your classes either…" She didn't want him to fail because she was worried about him.

"Don't worry too much, I'll be all right."

"You know I-"

"Worry far, far too much about things you don't need to worry about." His hand reached over and caressed her cheek, heating it up as they scraped the side. "You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, Trina."

"Kind of what Christy told me."

"She's right. Uncle's right. Even Chief Michael is right. You're a strong woman. A very strong, independent woman, and I admire and respect that so much. You don't need to carry the world on your shoulders, nobody is that strong. To go it alone…"

"Well…I'm not alone." Suddenly the temperature around them had increased to lethal degrees. The water nearby seemed to turn to lava. His chest was inviting to her. She _was_ a strong woman, she could take whatever she wanted. "Jason. This is…a bit much."

"I know." Neither of them wanted to break apart though. She put his left hand to her waist and raised her right hand towards the hand caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes and exhaled as her fingers curled around it. She wanted to quench this thirst within her, to be rid of the desire, but it felt far too good. What could it hurt. "Trina?"

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing?" He moved his forehead against hers and lowered his right hand to her waist. Her eyelids slid open into his strong gaze. "Is now really an appropriate time?"

"Well…" She chuckled softly and lowered her voice while moving her arms carefully around his neck. "You and your uncle are taking a vacation, who knows how long it'll be until I see you again…"

"Don't let me stop you, but just know…I respect you, Trina."

"I know, so do I. I love you. I trust you. It's not easy for me to trust."

"Yeah, I get that." She moved her fingertips to his hair, then pushed her hand forward. His lips crashed into hers. Pressure shot through her body, pulling a moan from her lungs. As his fingers wrapped around her waist, she slipped her arms farther around his neck, deepening the kiss.

His lips trailed slowly down her chin, his teeth taking a moment to nibble at her earlobe. She clenched her teeth as he tugged down, then began to trail his soft lips down to her neck. His hands moved behind her, overlapping her spine as he locked his thumbs together. She could feel his teeth nipping at the bottom of her neck. She gasped lightly and moved her hand up. He moved back for a split second, gazing into her eyes as she smiled nervously.

"Don't leave a hickey, Jason. I really…would like to avoid any questions from my sister and aunt, and perhaps Christy too."

"Fair enough." He returned to his task at hand. She breathed in slowly and let her hands slide down along his sleek body. Fire thrashed within her, awakening a passion stronger than she'd felt in weeks prior. As her heart pounded, she let her hands slide to the waistband of his swim trunks. She moaned lightly as his lips returned to hers, mixing his minty breath with hers. His fingers played at the string of her bra.

_What was our word, again?_ His body pressed against hers, rubbing a highly sensitive spot between her legs. She gasped out, a sudden jolt of static ran through her body. It felt _good_, though. Her eyes widened upon Jason, he wasn't aware. _"No, I don't want…this to end…"_

"I think…" Both were breathless. Jason moved his head back slightly and gazed into her eyes. She looked back hungrily, her body was screaming for more. "I think we should stop there, Trina. I know you're careful not to go too far…I don't want to take it too far with you."

_"What? No! No you fool, don't stop now! We've crossed that line already!"_ She took a deep breath, her body trembling in his strong arms. She closed her eyes and put her head to her forehead, moaning as she thought about her little sister. "Y-Yeah you're right. We…We need to be careful." _What_ was she saying? What was this inside her? She never felt this way before. She panted as she tenderly kissed his lips and picked up her uniform nearby. Her body was still on fire, her brain was scolding her for stopping at that precaution.

"You all right?"

"I'm_ fine."_ She grit her teeth and covered herself with her uniform, shaking her head. "Jason…if I said we should continue, would you?" He raised an eyebrow at her and slowly picked up his own uniform.

"No." Startled, she watched as he started to put his uniform back on. Had she heard correct? Part of her was happy about that answer, though.

"What? Why?"

"Because. Caught up in that moment…God knows I wanted to continue, god knows you probably did too…" She chuckled nervously as his earnest gaze moved to her eyes. He put his hand to her arm and smiled warmly. "I would hate to take advantage of the situation, to take advantage of you like that. Because you and I both don't want to do that unless we both decide _beforehand_…knowing the risks, knowing what's going on in our lives…it could be too much. When the time is right, and it's what we both want and not just a spawn of an emotional moment, then yeah. Sure. I'd love to share that experience with you, but _only_ then." He gave her a chaste kiss on her lips and began moving to put the leftover food and trash in the basket.

She was _speechless_, _astonished_, but at the same time, extremely glad for his words. He was right, they didn't need to chance the possibility of her getting pregnant because they got carried away in a heated moment. She loved that he wouldn't take advantage of her either, not many men were like that. She wiped away a tear in her eye and knelt down to help him clean up.

Her hand met his and their eyes moved towards each other. The spark was there, but both knew better than to give in to it this time. "Thank you, Jason."

"For what?"

She shook her head and smiled at him, then continued cleaning up. She still loved his naïve demeanor at times. "For being a man I can trust with my heart…"

"I love you, Trina."

He squeezed her hand gently, causing her heart to skip a beat. The passion inside of her simmered and the fire lessoned, but the emotion spiked higher than it had been before. She always believed the simple act of holding hands or cuddling was far more passionate than making out ever could be.

"I love you." She scrunched her nose happily and squeezed his hand in return. _"For once, I got a man that accepts me. He adores me, he's everything to me…"_ It meant a lot to her that Jason would never run from her like the men in her past. She _wasn't_ crazy, and he knew it.

* * *

What are your thoughts? Trina's not only found love, but a man worthy of her trust, it would appear. How do you think Jason handled the situation?


	14. Mixed Emotions

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 14 (Mixed Emotions)

"Holy shit!" Sinjin was startled by Lilith's outburst, he practically fell from his bed when she came barging in. He sat up, groaning as he stirred from his nap. "They're so much like you!" What was she going on about now? He rubbed his head and watched as she grabbed her hair. He had her go out and spy on Trina's date with Jason, so now the question was, what the hell was she going on about? "I'm sorry Sinji, I had to leave early. It was getting a little uh…" He lifted his hand up and cleared his throat, raising a curious eyebrow.

"Okay one step at a time. Take a deep breath and explain _slowly_ what happened." He motioned by bringing his hands down carefully. "I'm not even awake yet, Lilly." Lilith climbed onto the bed and sat against the headboard, taking a deep breath as she pulled the covers over her legs. He flattened his palm on the bed and held his eyebrow up, he was used to her randomly climbing into the bed without asking. She wouldn't do anything, just fall asleep. It was a lot like Courtney was, to be honest. Her eyes had a look of shock and her body was shaking, so something serious must have happened to her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Sinjin, you can't go after him. Don't go after Jason. Please." He moved his head back and cleared his throat. What on earth happened to make her come to this decision? She looked at him and pointed towards the door. "That girl _loves_ him. Trina adores him like Raven adored you. You can't hurt him, Sinji! You can't." He tucked his lip into a slow smirk and tilted his head to the right.

"This coming from the same 'coldhearted' and 'icy' blonde?" She huffed and angrily folded her arms over. He laughed and pat her shoulder. "I'm teasing you, Lilly. Tell me what you saw. I'm genuinely interested now." If she thought he shouldn't go after Jason, then he might have to respect that. It all depends on how serious the man was with Trina. If there was that genuine spark, then _maybe_ he could get past the idea of tearing him apart. "After all, you did say Raven's death was an accident."

"I didn't say that." He blinked a couple times, then moved his thumb and forefinger to his eyes, sighing as he remembered Raven's apparition.

"Oh yeah…Never mind. Anyway, _what_ did you see?"

"It's what I _didn't_ see that's important. I had to turn away, Sinji. I was about to leave when I heard them talking again, but…those two are in love. I mean it, they have this look in their eyes when they look at each other…I don't care what anyone says, that look was so much like how you used to look at Raven and how she looked at you. It was innocent, pure, _loving_."

"Okay? This is what freaked you out?"

"Not _entirely_." He leaned against the headboard and crossed his own arms, gazing at the dresser across the room. He studied himself in the mirror, chuckling at the combed back hairstyle. He used to not be so hygienic, still it was somewhat of a struggle just to stay clean, but he did better than before. Before, people remembered him with the big afro and lanky postures as well as strange smells. He wasn't saying he'd miraculously turned into _Adonis_, but he sure did look beautiful now. He cleared his throat and turned away from those thoughts, focusing still on Lilith. "They were talking and swimming, things were getting boring. You told me to watch for anything…so I was just going to wait until the end of the date."

"Right."

"Well. There was a part towards the end where they were just talking. He and his uncle are going to go on some vacation somewhere." He shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes, sighing as he blocked away the thought. "Then things started getting a bit steamy, Sinji. They started kissing, their hands wrapped around each other and their bodies rubbing against-" He clenched his eyes and shook his head, jerking his hand upright.

"Don't need details."

"Sorry. But then…they stopped. Jason told her he respected her, loved her, and wouldn't take advantage of her. The look on her face…Sinjin, you know how angry you've become because of Raven's death?" He slowly nodded his head and opened his eyes. His heart was sinking down as he thought about this situation, he could see what Lilith was about to say from a mile away. Suffice to say, he agreed. "If we were to kill Jason, we'd crush her. You thought things were bad when Bethany made her think Tori was dead, this is big. I don't think her heart would survive losing him." Since _when_ did he care about someone's heart? He hated knowing the answer to the very questions he posed himself, but it did give him something to say. He spent so much time three months ago trying to _help_ Trina and Tori.

"I guess you're probably right. It could crush her…_She_ didn't do anything to me. If we're cut of the same cloth, then taking Jason's life would be like…" He scoffed and shut his eyes, _nobody_ needed Trina as an enemy. LA could do without her rage. "I've made her and Tori off limits, Tori's friends are off limits, I suppose that goes for Jason and Christy."

"Immunity can be a good thing."

"Yeah. You do realize I'm still trying to sleep, right? I'm tired, have a headache, and I've been listening to Ying's nonstop fight training in the other bedroom. Do you _know_ how irritating it is to hear 'more power' every five fucking minutes? I swear if I hear it one more time, I'm going to shoot her myself."

"Yeah you're stressed. Maybe you should pay your sister a visit?"

"Nah, I don't think she'd want to see me."

"You don't know that…it could help." They heard Ying's shout and groaned, turning their eyes to the doorway where the woman was standing. Her hands were at her hips and her eyes were narrow.

"Are you going _soft?_ I can't believe you're _still_ not trying to go after that wench!" He put his hand to his forehead and stretched out his left arm.

"Get over yourself, woman."

"I will do no such thing! I tolerate that you don't want to harm Tori, I think it's pathetic, but now you don't want to crush the spirit of Trina Vega? Are you _mad!"_

"I'm going to be in approximately _five seconds_."

"You shouldn't be letting this fly though! That _bitch_ was the reason my daughter and husband are gone!" He rolled his eyes and exhaled slowly. This woman couldn't get it through her head that she herself was the sole reason for that. "I say we use whatever we can to destroy Trina Vega! Tori too!"

"Okay…" He had enough of this. He swung his legs over the bed and flattened his hand on the edge, slowly pushing himself up. Lilith put her hand over the top of her eyes and breathed out sharply as Ying raised her eyebrow. "I've had just about enough of you, Ying." He grabbed a set of plates on the end table, four in total. They were all from today, he'd eaten some snacks throughout the day and had yet to bring take them into the sinks. "How's _this_ for more power?" Using them as a discs, he grabbed one and shot it like a ninja star at Ying. Ying yelped and leapt to the side as the dish struck the wall beside her.

"What the hell!"

"Get the fuck out of my room before the next three become permanently attached to you. Believe me, I will not miss." He placed his palm flat on the plate as she studied his hand, breathing heavily. "Do you want to test me? Do you _really_ want to test me?"

Taking the hint, Lilith shot up from the bed and zipped behind Ying, putting her in a headlock from behind. Ying cried out as Lilith leaned in close. "You'd better listen to him, Ying. You don't want to screw with us." Ying gagged and put her hand to her throat, patting Lilith's arm several times. Sinjin's nostrils flared as his irritation began to simmer.

"Relax…calm down…" Raven's voice instilled a sense of patience, striking him numb. His eyes grew heavy as her voice drifted to him like an intoxicating perfume. He felt her hand sliding across his back, fingers bouncing over his shoulder blades. She lowered her arm and moved towards Lilith and Ying, gently resting her hand on her sister's arm. Lilith did a double take and looked about the room, lowering her arms and stepping away from Ying. "Ying shouldn't even be here, Sinjin. You know this…Her father, Venus and Lane all sleep in bedrooms in this creaky old mansion. I can't understand why you stay here, you hate this place."

His heart cried out as he gazed longingly at his love's apparition. Would she not cease her relentless haunting? Her mysterious gaze turned to him as she put her fingers to Ying's chest. Ying's mouth moved, but he heard no words from her. He was enchanted by Raven's sparkling eyes.

"You know I won't leave you until you make the right decision. Lover. I am more than just a conscience…I am a part of you. We became a part of one another when we made love…" She pushed Ying back and the woman stumbled out the bedroom door. Lilith watched with wide eyes as Ying doubled over and faceplanted the ground outside. "This blood drenched, booby trapped mansion. It's so cold…All the blood splattered about, it belongs to Trina and to Bethany."

Raven raised an eyebrow as she gazed outside the door. "I digress, Tyson too, and his entrails." She made her way to Sinjin as Lilith slowly walked out the door and closed the door behind her in confusion. Sinjin's body tensed, his heart in a full blown panic as Raven moved her arms around his neck and lifted up, kissing the edge of his lips. Her voice, still a whisper. A chill ran down his spine as tears broke from his eyes. "What is it going to take to get through to you? You don't need to throw things. You don't need to get mad and yell."

"R-Raven?"

"It's okay Sinjin. It's okay." Raven took the plates and set them down on the end table. How was she doing this? Had she become stronger? He felt a gust of wind push him onto the bed, then suddenly, Raven was on top of him. Her hands beside his head and her dazzling gaze meshing with his. He stuttered as his body began to heat up, yearning for her touch once again. "I still love you, Sinjin. I only want you to know…you don't _have_ to do all of this."

"I…"

"You don't…do you remember, our days together? Dreaming and talking, laughing about our future?" He whimpered as she lowered herself onto him. Her touch sent shivers along his arm and created tiny bumps on his body. "You said no matter what, it would be just us and our baby sisters. Love…we were in love, as in love as lovers ought to be. What Trina and Jason have, that is love."

"I won't hurt them. I refuse to hurt them."

"Good, so something got through to you. If only you could see, all this that you go through…you don't have to." He shook his head and clenched his eyes.

"I-I can't. It's too hard…too hard to forgive. Too hard to forget."

"She knows." Raven slid forward against his body. He moaned lightly and grunted, both frightened and amazed that an apparition could have this effect on him. "Trina knows about those corrupt officials. She's looking up the records. They're going to deal with them." No, he wanted to deal with them.

"I-I don't understand. How-How is _this_ possible?"

"Very…I can be your conscience, but I can also be what you desire most." His eyes fluttered shut as her lips met his. A very real passion swept through his body like an electric fire. He moved his hands to her hips, amazed with how real they felt. His heart cracked with longing as she pulled away from him and gently swept her hand over her lips. "But I am also an honest woman. I love you, but you have to move on from me eventually…however, you don't have the strength as long as your mind and heart aren't in the right place."

"What? That recovery stuff again?" He slowly sat up and cleared his throat, still trying to get over the feeling that he just got it on with a ghost for a few seconds.

"Yes. Only when you make the right decision and start your recovery…can you really be happy again. You're not going to be happy with these thoughts of revenge. Revenge…will only make things worse for you."

"It's not revenge, it's taking out the corrupt assholes who made Bethany into what she became. The ones responsible for your death!"

"That _is_ revenge, Sinjin."

"You expect me to _forgive_ them?"

"No." She turned to him, her eyes now sharp with a startling anger. He jolted back and tensed as she narrowed her eyes. "I _want_ you to _move on!_ I want you to take care of our daughter, Sinjin! I want you to be the man that I fell in love with…"

With that, she disappeared once more. He felt a dangerous sweat overtake his body and bent over, running his hands over his face several times. Had the temperature in the room skyrocketed? Or was it just him?

Even with her long gone, Raven's words still hung over him like a dark cloud. He moved his eyes to the TV set in the corner of the room, on the top of the television was a DVD case. The movie _Ghost_ with Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. He scoffed and threw the covers over his head, moaning under his breath. "Fuck you Patrick Swayze."

* * *

Well, your thoughts?


	15. Police Riots

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 15 (Police Riots)

Trina and Michael rushed downtown, something big was going on. It was Monday now, and she was still somewhat sidetracked by what happened with Jason at the beach. She couldn't let it get to her, affecting her job and whatnot, it would be a bad thing. Michael was driving, sirens blaring, and Trina was making sure every necessity was available. She wasn't completely sure what was going around, but trusted Mike to fill her in. She had to miss a day of class for this, but fortunately it was just a health class, and her job was a little more important than health class at this point.

"We have what is to believed a massive prison riot on our hands. The same three prisons that reported missing the missing prisoners." Trina did a double take and felt her heart crash to a halt, she had a feeling Ying and the others were behind this. It was a hell of a timing too. "We have to try and put a stop to this, I've stationed officers at all the prisons, but we're going to the heart of it."

"Any news on who is inciting the riot, Mike?" He gave her a negative on that, but as they neared the large prison, she had a feeling they were about to find out. There were reports of abducted and escaped prisoners during the riots, so now the police had more shit to deal with. This, on top of the records they found that Beck told them Raven was looking at, was just all too much. "Something tells me we're going to be here for a while."

When they stopped their car, a teenager with long brown hair came rushing over to them. Trina didn't recognize her, but with the crowd of pedestrians, it was hard to recognize anyone no matter how vaguely familiar they seemed. She grabbed her gun, ready to follow Michael inside the prison, but stopped when this girl grabbed her arm. "Please! My brother went in there! Max is in there!" Trina raised an eyebrow and looked to Michael. He gave her a nod, telling her to console the girl. This would be difficult to do, her heart was racing and sirens were blaring every which way.

The prison compound was tall with a large steel fence surrounding it. The front doors of the fence had been pried open and several prisoners were fighting off several guards. Pedestrians, police, cars, and the news media had surrounded everything in a five mile radius. The roar of helicopters overhead was a bit distracting.

"What do you mean your brother's in there? Can I get a name? What is your brother doing in a prison compound?"

"Visiting! He was just curious what the prisons were like. We've been visiting here for months now. Russo, Max Russo. I'm Alex. We were helping a friend and Max started looking around the prison. I know, he's strange like that, he just wanted to see what the guards were like." Trina raised an eyebrow and looked over to the prison, putting her hand on her nightstick at her hip.

"Okay Miss Russo, I'll see what I can do." She couldn't be going on rescue missions, but at the same time, that's what being a police officer was all about. "Got a picture?" Alex began fumbling through her purse until she found a photograph of her and her brothers. The girl brushed her bangs from her eyes and began trembling with fear as more gunshots rang out nearby. Trina nodded and put her hands to Alex's shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll get him out of there. I need you to go on the other side of the street, I don't want you getting caught in the crossfire."

"Thank you! Max can handle himself sometimes, but I'm still worried about him."

"I'll find him." Adrenaline pumped through her body as she ran over to Michael, he was busy trying to subdue the crowds. "Mike, I have to go in." He froze and looked at her, astonished. He wasn't one to argue with her when she told him she had to do something, he trusted her, but this was quite a bit different. She moved her hair back into a ponytail so it wouldn't get in her face, she often put her ponytail up when she was deathly serious. He understood this. "Someone's kid brother is in that mess."

"Do what you have to do then, but Trina, be _safe_. You know this is a heavy situation."

"I know…I'll be fine." She hurried into the prison compound without a further word, stopping in the yard and looking about. There were three groups, one to her right, one to her left, and one directly beside the large square building. Each group was a mass of police officers fighting with prisoners. "Who is behind this?" Task one, find this kid, Max Russo. Task two, figure out who the hell started this riot and take them out. She grabbed the radio on her chest and spoke into it. "Mike, what do you wish for me to do when I find the person responsible for this riot?"

"Cuff 'em! If they're armed and deadly, then you have permission to open fire if they become volatile."

"Yes sir." Taking a life. She'd done it in the past, not as an apprentice police officer of course. She'd dealt with many robberies and drug busts. Now that it came to this, she was nervous. It never got easier to take a life, and it always made her nauseous to think of having to do it again. She put her hand to her pistol and narrowed her eyes, huffing as she ran for the door and kicked it open. Instantly she drew her pistol and hugged the wall, expecting that prisoners could very likely be running about.

"Only the strongest!" A voice shouted over the intercom, "I only want the strongest of you!" Trina froze and let out a shuddering gasp, it was _Ying._ She had to be in the Warden's office. Chances were extremely likely that she already killed the Warden of the prison. "I don't give a fuck that my boss doesn't sanction this, he's gone soft. We're going to sweep the LA police force _without_ him!" Was she referring to Sinjin? Sinjin wasn't responsible for this? Immediately she grabbed the radio and dialed in to Michael.

"Mike. It's Ying. Ying Lee is responsible for this riot." There was a pause, then Michael's response came in the form of a curse.

"Is Sinjin behind it?"

"I heard her over the intercom, it sounds like he is not. She's in the Warden's room in the back of the building, I'm going to make my way there and subdue her."

"Good luck Trina. I'm counting on you. Take out the leader of the riot and the prisoners will lose their power."

She hooked the radio back and started to move towards the corner. She knew the path of this prison, she had to walk it several times with Michael. This was the biggest prison, and unfortunately that meant there was a maze of halls. Luck? Yeah, she was going to need it. Especially if there was a 'strange' teenage boy wandering about the prison on his own.

Lest it be forgotten the hellish timing, for Jason was still playing through her mind. It was the first time he'd been near her groin, and it was an accident, but it felt so _good_ to her. She knew she had to reserve it for a certain time in her life, marriage, but it was the first she ever felt that. But yet, the lust wasn't what was on her mind still. The relationship was.

The words Jason said to her, the way he treated her, he was unlike her view of any man. He didn't just want sex, he wasn't going to run from her when she got crazy or obsessive about something. No, he _loved_ her. Every man she dated, and there were many, she never once felt they were there for her.

Had she finally found him? Had she finally found the man that would stick with her through thick and thin? These were the thoughts plaguing her mind as she made her way through the halls, keeping true to her stealth. So far, she'd not run into anyone, which was a strange phenomenon. What she _had_ run into were several bodies. Guards and prisoners alike.

As she got deeper into the maze, things began to become even stranger. Prisoners were screaming, voices everywhere, but they were chained to the walls by _vines_. She straightened her posture as she came up to a bald prisoner on the wall, struggling in his binds. "What the fuck?" The prisoner gave her a 'help me', but she simply shook her head. If one was already detained, there was no way she was setting him free without backup. "Sorry, I need to uh…get to the bottom of this…"

"Help me!" She started walking, ignoring him until he shouted something about the kid. With a concerned glance, she looked back at him and studied the vines. What kind of _vine_ grows _inside_ a building?

"What the _hell_ did I just step into?" Her concerns would only grow as she stepped through the kitchen area. Many prisoners and guards alike were groaning and rolling on the floor. When they lifted their arms up from the ground, a glue like substance snapped them back down. "Okay, the floor has become flypaper? _What?"_

Thinking ahead, she leapt onto a table and turned her eyes towards a doorway she needed to go through. After hopping from table to table, she jumped off and landed on a prisoner. The man let out a pained shout and Trina quickly hopped for the doorway, grabbing the frame and tucking her legs inward to push herself through.

Once in, she studied her surroundings, this was a hall with prisoners still in their cells. Some were clearly smart, not intending to try and escape. As she walked ahead, gazing at a door in front of her, Jason once again made his way into her mind. She'd known him forever, so was three months too soon to think about a future? She normally would say yes, but in this case, it was hard to decipher.

One thing for certain, she didn't want to be without him.

"Trina." Michael's voice came over the radio, so she stopped and responded to him. Whatever he had to say was bound to be of great important. "The riots at the other two prisons have ceased, the people in charge of those riots has vanished. Apparently Venus and Niu Lee were behind them."

"Okay." This was turning out to be a bad day for LA.

She made it to the warden's office and hugged the wall beside the door. "Ying!" She exclaimed. "I know you're in there! Come out with your hands above your head!" When no response came, she leapt in the doorway with her gun extended. In place of what she expected to be Ying was the body of the Warden laying on his desk, and a giant hole in the wall behind him. "Shit!"

"I-I think I scared her away." She turned to the speaker and saw Max Russo huddled in the corner. Instantly she rushed over to him and knelt down, her first priority was making sure he got out safe. "I-I'm sorry about the mess. I got scared when the riots started breaking out. I only wanted to see what a prison was like…"

"Max, your sister's outside and she's very concerned about you. I need you to take a deep breath and come with me, _slowly_. You can explain on the way. Also…you said _mess?"_

"M-Magic. I'm not supposed to talk about it. I couldn't help myself." She was startled, but at the same time, she wasn't sure how much of that to believe. "Alex is out there? We've been meaning to go home to New York, but we got busy."

"With what?"

"I'm not supposed to say…"

"Okay. Max, I'm a police officer, you don't tell me something that sounds suspicious."

"Sorry…it's a personal thing. I promise I'm not behind the riot!" He stood up and raised his hands. She rolled her eyes and exhaled, she didn't need this right now.

"Right…just come with me…"

After getting out of the prison compound and reuniting Max with his extremely happy sister, she returned to Michael. Things were beginning to clear up around the area, and he had just finished dealing with the media.

"You won't believe what just went down in there, Mike." He turned to her and slowly nodded. "Ying got away unfortunately."

"So did about twenty prisoners from this compound. Most have been subdued, but we have casualties on both sides. Ten escapees from the other compound. The force has taken a heavy hit. Also, you won't believe who showed up. The man of the hour…and he's we can't arrest him."

"What?" She followed his gesture to the right and saw Sinjin leaning against a building across the street. Her jaw fell and rage flickered throughout her body. "Why can't we arrest him?"

"Because he didn't do anything. He didn't instigate the riots. Ying did. As far as anyone's concerned, we'd be arresting an innocent bystander. He says he wants to talk with you. He's got temporary immunity…"

"Hell of a time to 'talk'." She clenched her fists and met Sinjin's gaze. Already her stomach was churning, the adrenaline still pumping throughout her body. "Fine. I'm going in. Cover me in case he tries anything."

* * *

And yes, that is the same Max and Alex you're thinking of. They will have a bit of an involvement in a couple chapters here. What do you think of the prison riots? Ying's definitely acting out


	16. Of the Same Cloth

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 16 (Of the Same Cloth)

"What do you want, and why can't I arrest you?" The flames of her fury engulfed them as she glared daggers at the man who, only months ago, tried to kill her. Sinjin glared back with the same intensity and lowered his arms, straightening his posture for a second. "Also you have a lot of balls to show your face around here right now."

"You can't arrest me because I haven't done anything in the last couple of months, _and_ you can't arrest on speculations." She hated to admit it, but he was right. He wasn't evading arrest, nor had he done anything. "As you well know, apparently Ying is behind this prison riot, which is why you need to talk to me." Funny how he knew that detail already. She narrowed her eyes and Sinjin tilted his head. "You seem a bit distracted. Been thinking of your lover?"

"You got a nice mouth on you, I'd like to drop kick it off your face."

"I think you know better than police brutality."

"I think you know _me_ better than that, Sinjin." He chuckled lightly and shook his head, planting his palm on the tree next to him.

"One hell of a cop you're going to make." She gave him a smug look and narrowed her eyes. She wanted desperately to pin this war on him. A part of her felt for him though, knowing what he'd gone through in his past. She could understand if he were to go vigilante, but she had to admit, prison riots didn't seem his style. "Ying came to me when she busted out of prison, she and her father had this crazy idea to stir up hell by instigating a riot. Now that's not all she came to me about. More that I think would interest you…" She raised an eyebrow as Sinjin removed his hand and crossed his arms. "She apparently spied in on a date of yours."

Trina began to pale, thinking once again of the heated moment in her last date. Ying _knew_ about that? _Seriously?_ "What?" Trina scoffed, playing it off as nothing. "She couldn't have found anything out. Jason and I didn't talk about anything pivotal." She could tell Sinjin was skeptical, but she refused to go into any detail. "What does our date have to do with anything, Sinjin?"

"The fact that she knows he's your boyfriend." His words struck her like a ton of bricks. He had a very good point, Ying knew too much right there. "I don't want anything happening to you or to your sister, I tried to help you save your sister, remember?"

"I seem to remember you sticking a blade into me."

"Oddly. I remember the same thing." He lowered his shirt collar to reveal the scar above his nipple. A wave of nausea hit her, and of course, she knew that since she wasn't a police officer officially, they couldn't get him for the past. She went vigilante and there was no trace of him in Bethany's mansion. Literally he covered _all _his bases. No one could prove he did anything to her. "Now look, I want to help you. You and Jason, you two remind me a little of…"

"You and Raven?" He choked once and her lips twisted up into a cool smirk. "Oh I'm sorry, sore spot?" She rolled her hand in the air and sighed in exasperation. "Now hurry it up with your point, Sinjin." He narrowed his eyes and slowly shook his head.

"My point's simple. Ying _knows_ your boyfriend and she still wants to kill you. Or well, she wants to kill Tori and crush you." Trina's eyes widened and she turned a worried gaze towards the right. "My thoughts, she also wants to harm Jason."

"And what about you, Sinjin?" He closed his eyes and waved his hand in the air.

"I've made my peace with Jason. I know Raven's death was…accidental."

"It was a warrior's death, Sinijn." He raised an eyebrow as she leaned against the tree, rubbing her shoulder against the bark. Her ponytail flew with a violent wind and her eyes dipped towards the ground. "Look. I know it hurts. I can't picture a world without Jason. It's strange, the feelings I've been having for him lately…I mean yeah I love him, I have loved him, no trouble saying it, but now…" Sinjin studied her for a minute and lifted his shoulders.

"Now it hit you?" She meshed her eyebrows together and looked up to him. He gazed up to the blue sky and chuckled. "All that's going on. You can say 'I love you' many times, but there will come a moment you'll realize, a time where it will truly hit you…that it's the real deal. When those words stop being something 'thrown about' and they carry more impact than ever before. You'll know that person is meant to be in your life." Her heart skipped a beat and she followed his gaze to the clouds, dreaming of cuddling up with Jason by the fireplace as they grew old together.

"Yeah…it's kind of scary, to be honest. I've dated before and I've never felt this way about anyone. Infatuation, sure." Sinjin hummed and started to circle the tree like a shark.

"There's infatuation, there's lust, there's love, and then there's _true_ love. _Real_ love, brought on by trust, respect, admiration, genuine concern, and of course a desire to be with that person. Not just sexually, but just simply _with_ them." She was shocked that Sinjin knew anything about all this, but she had to admit, he wasn't a total idiot. He'd felt this before for someone, obviously. She shook away her distracting thoughts and returned to business, her voice quivering as she fought this process.

"You…Is Ying working for you?" Sinjin paused and looked over at her, rolling his eyes.

"If she were, would I be here?"

"Look. I know about that list you and Raven found regarding Bethany. You want to go vigilante, _don't_."

"Oh _look_ who's talking!"

"Okay I _know_ I'm the last person to say that after what happened three months ago, but come on. _Think_ Sinjin, is this what _Raven_ would want? Is this what your sister would want? Your _daughter?_" He scoffed and put his hand to his forehead.

"I don't need to be lectured by the likes of you. Those assholes destroyed us, Vega. They're all responsible for what happened to us. Did you know the police wouldn't have even responded to that distress call your father sent out? They didn't because Bethany got an officer to block the signal! _I_ had to go in and remove that block!" Her heart clenched and her body started to grow numb as she took a slow step back.

"Y-You can't be-"

"_I_ started you on the whole vigilante thing. I saw what they were doing to Tori and to your family, I had to stir your rage. _I'm_ the reason you went ape shit on that godforsaken gang. I was trying to figure a way to get your sister and her friends out of that situation. Why? Because I knew it was important! I wouldn't want my sister stuck in something like that, but I also knew I couldn't do shit without Bethany killing Raven or Lilith on the spot."

"So you _used __me_? You put me through that hell!" She wanted to shoot him right now, but she resisted the impulse. If it hadn't been for him, she probably still would have gone after the gang, but she didn't feel good knowing that he was the one who intentionally started her fire.

"As if you wouldn't have done it if I did nothing. You're not going to convince me to not go after the people on that list, Trina. If you want to do something useful, take my advice and listen to me."

"I have _nothing_ to say to you!"

"No, I think you do. Because as we speak, Ying is probably on her way with her new army of prisoners to one of two places…" Trina felt the wind fly from her as his words once more struck her like a punch to the gut. Fear and panic spread through her as she imagined Ying going after Tori or Jason. She had to protect them, yet she was _here_, not _there!_ "Now I know you say Jason can protect himself, but how good is he when caught off guard by large numbers? Lo and behold, Ying probably would use him against you. Now the question is, she doesn't know where you and Tori live, but she knows where Jason lives. Who is she going to go after? We're of the same cloth, Vega…you don't need to feel my pain…"

"Fuck!" With this knowledge, she bolted from Sinjin, running over to Michael and grabbing his arm. The man jumped back, startled, and met her curious gaze. "Mike, I need some units to go to go to my house just in case. The rest, dispatch to Jason Sikowitz's home! Stat!"

"Trina, calm down, what's going on?"

"Sinjin told me something…something _terrible!"_ Her body quaked with terror as she began to imagine what it would be like without Jason. Empty and soulless, she'd never be able to cope, to recover. She wouldn't be able to be there for Tori or for her friends even. She _couldn't _lose him! She couldn't lose her true love. "Sinjin's innocent, but Ying told him something, I think she's going after my boyfriend!"

"Then what are you waiting for? Let's get moving!" He grabbed his coat and charged to his car with her. They flipped on the siren and started rushing down the road. Trina could barely focus as Michael dispatched the units to Jason's address. He looked at her and put his arm on her shoulder. "Trina. It's going to be okay."

"N-No it's not Mike. You don't understand. This…This is the one guy…I can't, _nothing_ can happen to him. I need him, Mike. I need him in my life." It wasn't because she loved him that she needed him, she loved that she needed him. He made her better, he made her happier. She could laugh and be comfortable with him. "If something were to happen…"

"Nothing's going to happen. Why don't you call your friends up? Call Christy over to him, give Jason a call in case Ying is truly on her way there. I've dispatched units to both locations."

"If she…if she does anything to him…"

"Trina. Miss Vega?"

"What!" She didn't mean to snap. Her heart was racing, her hair was frizzled, and her body was shaking as though an earthquake were running through her body. "Sorry Mike…" He closed his eyes and nodded.

"It's fine. I was going to say. You have permission to shoot and kill. I've given the order, Ying Lee is to be subdued and taken into custody, whether dead or alive."

"She'd better not touch him…she better_ not fucking touch him!"_ Her frantic rage was sending her into a panic attack as she fought for her cell phone. It was all she could do to keep calm was try to get Jason and Christy in on a conference call. Sinjin planted that seed of doubt in her mind, and if he were right, then Michael needed to speed up the damn car.

* * *

What do you thinki of Sinjin's revelation regarding Bethany's fate? Well this was an intense chapter, and it looks like we've just seen what that Ying is up to.


	17. As the World Crumbles

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 17 (As the World Crumbles)

When they arrived to Jason's home, Trina was hoping he and Sikowitz were already _gone_. The fact that they were packing through Monday meant likely their vacation would be Tuesday. Unfortunately the front door was ajar, and Sikowitz was lying face down on the front lawn. Panicked that someone actually managed to get _him_ out of commission, Trina grabbed her gun and bolted from the car. Christy was already there, kneeling beside Sikowitz with her sword drawn. "Christy! Is he-" She looked up at her with a frown and slowly rose to her feet.

"He's fine, unconscious, but fine." Police were not quite there yet, but she could hear their sirens racing. Christy pointed her sword to the door and narrowed her eyes. "I came as soon as you told me what was going on. When I drove up, a couple prisoners were about to kill him, they ran inside. I can't believe someone overwhelmed Sikowitz."

"I can't lose him, Christy. I can't lose Jason, you don't understand…I _can't!"_ Christy met her frantic gaze and held her breath, exhaling slowly as she nodded her head and narrowed her eyes.

"Then we go in together. I'll guard you. I won't let anything happen to you or Jason. You have my word." Christy would make a great bodyguard one day, hopefully she would pursue a career in that department. She looked to Michael, who informed her that he would remain here to keep watch over Sikowitz and inform the police of what was going on. As she made her way into the house, she put her hand over her chest to feel the pounding of her heart. It was going far too quickly for her own good. Already she was thinking of what would happen if she lost Jason, and as thoughts crossed her mind and her eyes danced onto her friend's sword, she saw Christy move it behind her. "I don't care what happens Trina, I know what you're thinking, and I won't let you-"

"You wouldn't be able to stop me." Christy frowned as Trina called out Jason's name, pleading internally for a response. In the corner of her eye she saw her friend run towards her, blade ready. She ducked out of the way with a yelp and looked back in time to see Christy beheading a prisoner. "Holy shit…I didn't see them…"

"Just like old times, huh Trina?" Trina slowly nodded her head and looked over to see a prisoner charging for her. Thinking fast, she slammed a fist into the prisoner's stomach and grabbed his collar, then flung him overhead for Christy to slash with her sword. She knew Michael probably didn't want her killing _every_ prisoner, but now was a little difficult of a time for her to be making appropriate judgments.

"Ying!" She cried out, tears burning her cheeks and stabbing her eyes. "I swear to god if you hurt him in any way-" She felt Christy's hand on her shoulder and looked over, breathless and scared. She couldn't hear screaming, she couldn't hear anything. "Christy?" She whimpered, fearing the worst and fighting the urge to collapse to her knees. "I'm not hardened…he-he got through."

"What?" It took a minute for her to understand, and when it hit her, Christy's eyes widened. "Oh my god! Did you two?"

"No, almost, but…but he said he wouldn't have sex with me unless it was something we both wanted and at the right time. He's honest with me, and the way I feel for him now…it…I _really, truly_ love him. He's different, _this_ is different, and-"

"We'll have time to talk about this later then, Trina. Let's find your man." Jason really tore down her walls without even trying, and Christy understood it. No man had ever succeeded in doing that, and she honestly didn't think _Jason_ would. Right now, she was glad Christy was there for her.

She looked to a prisoner rushing down the stairs and whipped her pistol out, screaming angrily as she fired a shot into the man's heart. Christy smacked her forehead as he man clutched his chest and fell down the steps, gun in hand. With a sigh, Christy soon followed Trina upstairs. Chances were likely that Jason was in his bedroom if he were caught at all.

When they made it upstairs, they saw several prisoners _already_ on the ground. They were bruised up, an indicator that Jason had given a fight. A flash of hope shot past her as her lips curved into a smile. "Maybe he's okay, Christy. Maybe he's okay." A gunshot rang out and Christy yelped. She gasped and looked over to see Christy holding her right arm. Behind them, a prisoner had rushed up the stairs and was aiming his weapon at them, hands trembling.

"Oh you shouldn't have done that!" Christy was about to turn to him when someone shot the man down. Downstairs, Michael was breathing heavily, several footsteps were heard running about. _Finally_ backup had come.

"Keep going girls, my men are scouring the rooms down here. I'll let you know if we find anything. Oh, and Trina, you're doing a fine job." She honestly didn't care. None of it mattered. Now that they were in Jason's house, _nothing_ mattered anymore. She felt Christy's hand upon her shoulder and looked over.

"Y-You're hurt, Christy. You should go."

"I won't leave you behind Trina. _Not_ this time. I already know what happens when you get emotional, you nearly _died_ once before because you went alone. I'm not letting you go alone this time, not with the gravity of the situation…"

"Fine." She pressed onwards, trying in vain to calm her raging heart. She'd lost track of the number of prisoners, but had Ying brought all twenty of the escapees here? She didn't know for a fact, but hopefully, they would be able to stop her and her army soon. As they neared Jason's room in the back of the hall, they clearly heard grunting noises. Fear pulsed through Trina and she stopped her hand over the doorknob, afraid of what they might find. _"Oh god please be alive. Please be okay. She's in there hurting him…"_

"Trina?"

"I'm really afraid to open this door." Her voice was whisper quiet. She honestly didn't want to walk in to find her boyfriend dead and Ying laughing maniacally. Christy seemed to understand, so Trina stepped to the side and let her best friend step in front.

"Then allow me. Jason's not going to be happy about this…" Christy slashed the blade through the side of the door near the hinges, from top to bottom, then performed a hard front kick into the door, causing it to fly open. Trina covered her eyes and whimpered when Christy cursed. She slowly opened her eyes and burst out in anguish at the sight.

Jason was standing up with his back against the wall and arms above his head. There were two daggers shoved into the wall with a rope tied around them, locking his wrists in place. His head was bowed and his body was shirtless. His chest was covered in blood and slashes. Ying was standing in front of him with a blood coated metal fan, and a dangerous look in her eyes. Her fan was hovering at Jason's neck. Trina's heart screamed out and her tears continued to burn her cheeks as she studied her boyfriend's unmoving body.

"Hello Miss Vega, I see you've managed to make it up here in time to join the fun." Ying chuckled and Christy began to growl, knowing Trina to be in no shape to fight. "You know, I didn't think about it three months ago, but you two do make a lovely couple. I just had to come up and congratulate him on his relationship change. What do you think of my mural in your honor, Trina? Look nice? Does it _hurt_?"

"Y-Y-You-you-"

"Allow me," Christy interrupted, "You _monster!"_ Ying laughed violently.

"You should have killed me when you had the chance." Trina whimpered as she studied Jason's body, it was _dripping_ blood. She couldn't tell if he was even _alive_. Her entire world was crumbling, and only her best friend was able to keep strong in this moment.

_"N-No, not now…god not now…I lost my dad, my sister and her friends are all changing, and I just…I _can't_ lose him now!"_ She clenched her hand around the handle of her pistol, weeping as she started to fall to her knees. She heard Ying cackling once more, boasting about how she _finally_ bested the 'amazing' Trina Vega.

Cut her? Yes. Hit her deep inside, perhaps so. Discovered a _weakness_? Maybe. Bested? Had Ying learned _nothing_ of what happened to the gang that kidnapped her little sister and killed her parents?

In a moment of blind fury, her pistol flew through the air, firing off two well-placed rounds. One in each of Ying's shoulders. Ying screamed out in pain as Christy froze in shock. Trina yelled and flew towards Ying, her fury greater than it had ever been at this point.

"I _hate _you! I fucking hate you, Ying!" She'd reduced Trina to almost nothing. She could say now that she knew how Sinjin felt, she understood his pain. She wanted them all to die, every last one of them. Ying, Niu, Lane, anyone associated with that goddamn gang.

She grabbed Ying's neck and threw her on the ground, kicking her several times in the ribs, screaming frantically as the woman begged for mercy. "Why should I show you _any_ mercy? After what you did to Jason! Did you show _him_ any mercy? _Did you?!_ You don't have any _right_ to ask for fucking _mercy!" _She aimed her gun at Ying's head, still blind with fury and rage. As her finger grew heavy upon the trigger, she glared down to see Ying's eyes full of fear and her body shaking.

She was numb, so much so that she almost didn't _care_ that Ying was terrified. "Stop!" Sikowitz's voice shook her, rattled her. The man woke? She gasped out and looked to the door where her teacher was standing, holding onto his cane. He narrowed his eyes onto Trina's gun and exhaled slowly. "If you pull that trigger, you may as well hand your badge in to your boss downstairs. For you will be no better than Ying herself, killing with all that rage and hatred inside of you…"

"W-What? But-But Ja-"

"I know…I have warned you what comes of a hate-ridden killing. Trina Vega, if you pull that trigger…what will become of your soul? What will become of the woman my nephew loves? Of the woman that is Miss Vicarious's best friend."

It was taking all her strength to resist pulling the trigger. He was _right_, however. He had to arrive just in time, of course, to plant that seed of humanity that she was needing. She gazed down at Ying, gasping softly as she slowly pulled her gun away. Sikowitz started to smile as she turned towards him and threw her gun on the ground, letting it slide to his feet.

She just noticed, where had Christy gone? Just as she started to ponder that, Ying was rising to her feet. "You dumbass bitch," Ying muttered, "You should have killed me just then." She felt the sharp metal fan at the back of her neck and slowly lifted her hands up, knowing that with one push, it was all over. "Now I'm going to get what I want, and there's-" Blood splashed out on the floor and Trina quickly spun around. Christy managed to get around to the other side of the bed, she popped out and ran her blade through Ying's head.

"Get off my friends, bitch," Christy growled. It was a proper kill, not a revenge-kill. She was genuinely protecting her best friend. Trina held her breath as Ying collapsed to the ground, finally unable to hurt anyone else. "Trina? Jason."

Startled, she stepped over Ying and stood before Jason, whimpering as she touched her hand to his cheek. The instant she touched him, she saw his eyelids flicker. Sudden hope crashed into her and she immediately pulled the rope away from his wrists and threw her arms around his waist as he fell forward. "Jason! Oh god Jason, please…" She moved him over to his bed and laid him down, then climbed beside him and started kissing his forehead and his lips, hoping maybe they would keep him alive. "Don't go Jason, please. I _need_ you. I need you in my life. _Please."_

Christy sheathed her sword and Sikowitz moved beside her, standing behind Trina and watching forlorn. Trina held her breath and gasped out with a startling wail as her forehead fell onto his bloody chest. "Jason! God!"

After sobbing for several seconds, she felt a finger tuck beneath her chin. She froze, her heart skipping a beat as her eyes drifted upwards. Jason was peering down at her with one eye open. He was _alive!_ "My uncle still gets to you, huh…I'm glad you're okay, Trina…"

She let out a breathless gasp and threw her arms around him, ignoring the pained grunt that resulted. Her lips met his and her tears fell onto his cheeks as she caressed his hair. Her body trembled as her heart screamed in pain as her skyrocketing levels of anxiety refused to lower. How could he say he was glad she was okay? How? When he was the one so close to death!

"I-I don't get you Jason, thinking of me when you're like this…"

"I don't matter to me, as much as you matter…even if I had to die, I wouldn't want anything to happen to you…" She lifted her head up, still weeping, but now with tears of joy. He slowly groomed her hair and caressed her cheek. His smile warmed her heart and amazed her, how could he _smile? _"Seeing you…I'm sorry you had to go through this."

"Quit it Jason, you're hurt…"

"So are you. I'm okay now." He turned his head to Sikowitz and breathed in slowly. "Uncle, I guess this means our vacation's cut short…" Sikowitz wiped a tear from his eye and reached down, patting his nephew's knee.

"It's fine Jason."

"Right. Christy?" Christy gave him a smile and turned towards him. "Thank you for watching over Trina. I don't think I've ever said it, but…You're an amazing friend. If I had to have anyone as a best friend, I'm glad it's you." Christy beamed and ran her fingers through her hair, chuckling bashfully. "And Trina…I'm glad you didn't kill Ying just now. I'm glad it was Christy." She gasped softly and looked over to Sikowitz. "Uncle Erwin's right. It wouldn't be good if you killed her in that moment…or during whatever bit I was conscious for."

"Stop talking and wasting your energy," Christy said. Trina chuckled once and Jason gave them a smile as the paramedics came rushing in with Michael.

"Right. I guess I'll be talking to you guys more at the hospital."

"I'm going with you," Trina stated rather bluntly, "I don't care what anyone thinks. I am _not_ leaving your side, Jason…" Jason smiled at her, his hand caressing her hair from top to bottom.

"I would be…the happiest man to have you buy my side…for even more than an ambulance ride." Her cheeks burned red and Christy's eyebrows lifted up. Sikowitz was stunned. "I love you Trina."

"I love you…don't ever scare me like that, Jason. I don't know what I'd do...if I lost you."

He flashed a toothy smile and gave her a thumbs up as the paramedics begun to move him to the stretcher. "You haven't lost me yet. I'm too strong to let that happen." Trina sighed and put her hand to her heart, it was still beating like crazy, but she was extremely relieved now that the terror was over. For the most part. She caught Michael staring down at what _used_ to be a Ying's round head, but was now a _V_ shaped head. His eyes drifted to Christy, who simply waved at him.

"Uh huh…All right Trina. You get some rest and I'll let your friend fill me in…"

* * *

Take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and now tell me your thoughts and observations ^_^. This was Trina's most emotionally devastating moment. Jason may have survived, but it was a very close call for them both.


	18. Of Morphine and Maury

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 18 (Of Morphine and Maury)

Trina traced her finger along the tip of Jason's forehead, gazing down lovingly beside his hospital bed. She actually convinced the doctors to let her stay in the room as they took care of him, it was difficult enough to do that, but they caved when they realized she was _not_ letting down. "Ah Trina, you're a force to be reckoned with," Jason remarked, gazing up into her eyes. He had the softest smile and the most lucid, yet tender gaze. The doctors had to give him some morphine to dull the pain. "I can't say I ever imagined my girlfriend forcing the doctors to let he watch an examination. Much less, mine. It's amusing!"

"I had to know you'd be okay." There was no way she could have simply sat still outside the operating room while the doctors worked on him. His entire upper torso was bandaged like that of a mummy, and his brown bangs fell over a bandage wrapped around his head. Even his arms were bandaged down to his elbows. "You should see what you look like right now, Jason. You would get a kick out of it." He chuckled and closed his eyes, sighing heavily.

"I think I have an idea." He moved his hand up and pat the top of hers, smirking as he wagged his eyebrows. "If I'm a mummy, does that make you Cleopatra? Maybe instead, you're Cleopatra and I am Anthony?" For the first time since they arrived, she laughed. Trina gently kissed his forehead in response. He lowered his arm down and sighed contently. "What I would give for a million little kisses from you." That morphine must really have him doped up, but she was loving every second of it. "Where's Uncle and Christy?"

"Giving statements to Chief Michael, and helping to clean up the house. You know they actually overwhelmed your uncle? He was unconscious when we got there."

"Yeah I know. I was walking down the stairs and I saw people in the room. Then I saw my uncle struggling outside the window. I tried to fight them off, tried to fight Ying off, but they got me backed up in the hallway." Her heart broke hearing this, even though he and Sikowitz were both safe now, she still hated having to think about what almost happened to them both. "All I could think of was you, Trina…"

"Jason, I wasn't in any danger…"

"I know, I know, it's just…" He looked up at her and lifted his hand, caressing her cheekbone with the back of his finger. "I didn't know if I was going to make it. I didn't want to leave without certain things being said." She breathed in deeply and gently kissed his hand. "I don't want to rush into things, I know times are rough right now, and I know how you are with your walls and everything…I just…I want you to know how much I love you. And I mean _really_ love you. The way I feel isn't just a small date and throw the term around, I mean I want to be there for the long haul. I'm not the men you've known in your past, I'm not the men that have hurt you. I certainly could never do that to you…"

"Well, you _do_ have the benefit of actually seeing that I'm not just some shallow and vain girl-"

"You know? Whoever said you were shallow or vain…they didn't know you and they won't ever know you. Not the way I know you, not the way Christy and your sister knows you." She began to blush as his hand slowly moved to her cheek, sweeping away a small tear from her face. "We talk about a lot of things that most people wouldn't even know about either of us. My parents, your past, my past, and all the things that make us who we are now." He lowered his hand and breathed out slowly. "I wanted you to know, because I was thinking about this after our last date, I value our relationship."

"I know you do."

"No, I mean, clearly we look for more than just making out every time we're together." She started to smile, her heart lifted up in her chest as she put her hand over his. She understood loud and clear what he was saying. It wasn't like he was _proposing_ or anything like that, but at the very least, he was saying he wanted their relationship to be a true one. She thought it was for the most part, but he was right, the constant make-out sessions probably needed to lesson. They needed to slow down, rather than speed up, after all.

"Right. I'm fine with cuddling and talking." He nodded and looked up at the television in the corner of the room. She grabbed the remote off the side of the bed and flipped it on. The first thing that appeared was the yellow sponge underwater. "Ugh, I don't think you want to watch Spongebob." He smirked at her, so anticipating a coming tease, she flipped on to the next channel. _Come and knock on our door…_ "Three's company, Jason?" He laughed and shook his head. They both loved the old TV sitcoms, and John Ritter was awesome.

"This isn't the place for Three's Company. If I laugh too hard, I might open my wounds. Probably not, but I don't want to chance it."

"Uh huh." Hospitals never had much in the way of television shows, or at least, shows people wouldn't normally watch at home. Most were basic cable shows such as reality television, old timey sitcoms, and shows like _Charmed._ That very show was on the next channel. "Charmed. Do you think magic is real, Jason?" He raised an eyebrow and looked to her as she studied the characters on the television.

"Do I think magic is real? I'm not sure."

"The thing is, during that big police riot, I went inside the prison…and there were vines all over the place, holding up prisoners. The kitchen floor became like glue or flypaper, and this boy I found there said he caused all the mess with some sort of magic…"

"Does sound strange."

"Yeah." She flipped onto the next channel, which was playing Maury. Jason laughed and pumped a fist into the air, cheering. He _loved_ Maury, Trina never really got into it. Although she had to admit, it was fun to catch when bored, and to see all the people get all hyped up just to find out the man they're bitching out is _not_ their baby's father. "Honestly Jason, how can anyone like a show that lets a man or a woman go on national television and basically _admit_ to national television that they're an asshole, a slut, or so many other things?"

"Well let's see here, Trina…" He lifted a finger and she slowly looked back at him, leaning sideways in her chair while crossing her legs over. "Before all this mess, you would do just about _anything_ to get in the spotlight, am I right?"

"Yeah? Your point?"

"So then if you could have gotten on Maury, regardless of whether there was any truth or if it was all scripted, would you have attempted?"

"Okay _maybe_ Maury, but definitely not Jerry Springer." His face went sour and he quickly shook his head.

"Nah, Springer _is_ scripted. Nobody can be _that_ much of an idiot on national TV!" She started to laugh. This was enjoyable, sitting here with him, commenting on the various television shows. It took away from the earlier dramas of the day.

"So Jason, do you want to watch Maury?"

"I'm not sure, but there doesn't seem to be anything else on. They don't show that webshow on television do they?"

"What? iCarly? No. You remember those guys came down here once, right? I think Cat's been talking to one of them since then."

"That would be interesting. Why'd they come down, again?"

"Yep. They came down here because some asshole dating my little sister was two timing her with Carly Shay. Apparently they found out before I did, because if I found out…oh boy would there be hell on earth then."

He clicked his tongue and shook his head, sighing at the depravity. "Can't stand a man that would do that. Sure, leave it Maury for now if you please." He raised an eyebrow as Maury announced to a man that he was _not_ the father. The woman went into ballistics as the two other men sitting in the chairs beside her were _also__not_ the father. "Wow…just wow…"

"This is why you enjoy Maury so much isn't it."

"The fact that I can be as cynical as I want and laugh at the people on the show? Yes. Yes it is."

"Of course." She set the remote down and shook her head at the screen. Just then, the hospital door flew open, startling the both of them, and Tori came running in.

"Trina!" Tori's arms flew around her. She cleared her throat as Tori's tears dripped onto her shoulder. "Trina I was so worried! I saw on the news about the prison riots and then they said you went in. Then a bunch of police officers came to my house because you and Chief Michael ordered them there…Christy wasn't answering her texts, neither was Jason and Mr. Sikowitz didn't answer his cell. Christy finally called back saying you were with Jason in the hospital, and what happened to Jason!" Tori looked over at him with wide eyes, he smiled nervously and waved his hand in the air. "Oh my _god_ you look like a mummy!"

"Funny. Your sister said the same thing."

"Yeah…" She looked up to the television and twisted her expression. "Really Jason? Maury? I can't understand how someone can go on national television like that and just announce to the world how they are…"

"You can _really_ tell that you and Trina are sisters."

Trina stifled a laugh and stood up, hugging Tori close. She didn't want to scare her sister with the news of what happened, but she had to be honest. "Tori, I need you to relax, everyone is okay now." Tori looked back at her and lifted her eyebrows. "The truth of the matter is someone broke into Mr. Sikowitz's home and they attacked Jason. Christy and I met up over there and had to go in to make sure he was okay. He's okay now, obviously…"

"You were scared though." She caught her breath and closed her eyes, slowly nodding her head. She remembered what Christy told her back at the shooting range about letting Tori know how she felt about things and not hiding behind her walls. "Christy said you were upset. I figured if Jason was hurt…"

"Yes. I was scared, I thought he wasn't going to make it. I _actually_ thought we got there too late…I thought…" She held her breath and waited as her chest tensed up and slowly loosened. The frightening emotions started to resurface, it was at this point she'd normally shy away from them. She looked to Jason, who was busy gazing up at Maury, and smiled at him. She didn't _have_ to fear anymore. Ying wasn't going to hurt him. "I thought he was dead. I lost it Tori. I-I wasn't strong, Sikowitz had to stop me from doing something I might have regretted. He was right, if I killed the person that put Jason in the situation, I would have no right to call myself a police officer. Because it wouldn't have been a justified killing. The person _was_ asking for mercy, but I was blind…"

"It's okay Trina." Tori hugged her waist, startling her for a brief moment. Her heart swelled and she slowly moved her arms around her sister. She was grateful for Tori's comfort, and didn't know what she'd do without her. "I know I always say I need you around to comfort me, but, sometimes you need it too. So that's what sisters do, we stick by each other." While still hugging her, Tori looked over to Jason. "Jason, I'm glad you're okay." Jason glanced at her through the corner of his eyes and flashed a witty grin.

"Well I couldn't very well leave a couple of my favorite ladies behind to face the world alone, now could I?" Tori laughed and Trina rolled her eyes.

"No you couldn't."

"Nope. Oh! Wait, Maury's about to announce something else, they found the fourth guy!" The two sisters raised their eyebrow and all eyes landed upon the Maury show. Silence gripped the room as it did the audience. Maury slowly drew from the envelope and Jason started to chuckle. "I hope for that woman's sake this is the father. She is not going to have a good time getting back home…"

"What did they say her career was?" Trina asked.

"Internet _film_ star." Nothing more was needed to be said, everything was already explained upon emphasis of film. They turned their eyes back to the screen as Maury lowered the paper back into his lap.

"Bill Braxton," Maury began, "Test results indicate that you are…_not_ the father!" Jason clapped his hands once and Trina shook her head, sighing as Tori shuddered. Just another day in the life of Maury. Well, at least it was better than what was likely to be on the next channel, the _Days of our Lives_ soap opera.

* * *

So Jason's doing well, all part of the recovery process. Your thoughts?


	19. Consequences of Broken Rules

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 19 (Consequences of Broken Rules)

"My daughter is _dead_!" Niu screamed in anguish. Sinjin was standing at the top of the stairs, overlooking the front lobby of the mansion. Lilith was standing beside him, peering down as Niu slammed the floor with his fist. Niu, Venus, and Lane were all in the lobby room with their prisoners gazing up at him. Niu glared up and pointed his angry finger. "You! You went out there and told Trina-"

"I told her what I merely assumed Ying was up to. She filled in the blanks. Turns out, Ying was doing exactly that." He never sanctioned any of this. He narrowed his eyes and grasped the railing angrily. "I _forbade_ the prison riot idea that Ying wished. I forbade attacking Trina, Trina's boyfriend, Tori, or Tori's friends. The fact that Ying disobeyed me means she was officially unaffiliated with me. I simply washed my hands of your daughter, Mr. Lee."

Venus nodded and glanced over to the man, "He has a point. I'm sorry, your daughter was trouble from the start. There are various things we're attempting here, and Ying went out on her own whim. Sinjin made perfectly clear what is to be allowed and what isn't." Niu screamed out and put his hand over his eyes. Sinjin felt bad for the man, he did, but he had to maintain his aura of coldness. He didn't expect Niu to be loyal at this point, he never expected it from the start, but now especially was certain. The man was likely to be far too dangerous. "Trina protected the man she loved, you can't blame Sinjin for that."

"I most certainly _can_ blame him if I want!" Niu shot up and grabbed Venus's throat. Several of the prisoners grabbed him and pulled her back. Venus grabbed her throat and gasped for air. Sinjin narrowed his glare as anger spilled through him. "Let me go! Let me go!" Sinjin shook his head and began to slowly descend the stairs. His eyes locked with Niu's, the man looked like a bull with his nostrils flaring and his bloodshot glare. "Sinjin! How could you work with Trina? How could you work for the woman that destroyed everything? The woman that killed Bethany? How? How could you-" Sinjin grabbed Niu's throat, silencing the man as his hand tightened. His muscles tensed and a growl left his throat. Niu struggled, gasping for air. "H-H-Help. S-Sin-j-jin…"

As the man's face began to turn blue, Sinjin released the man's neck. The prisoners let him fall onto his hands and knees as he hacked in attempt to regain his breath. "Does it _look_ like I care for your thoughts on Bethany? No. It doesn't feel good to be strangled, does it, Niu? Grabbing Venus's throat like that, it was uncalled for." Niu slowly looked up to him, holding onto his own neck and breathing heavily. "Rules, I do have them. If you break them, I'm done with you. It doesn't mean I'm going to kill you. I'm probably _not_ going to kill you. However, what your daughter did was not only breaking my rules…but engaging in attacking the very man that would push Trina Vega over the edge. I was going to settle for letting Ying get her ass thrown back in jail, that was it."

"Bastard…"

"No Niu, I am _still_ a man of honor." He wanted to make that clear, he didn't want to change into a monster. He didn't want to turn into something that would have made Raven shy away from him. "Now we're going to do this _my_ way, do I make myself clear?" He removed a folded sheet of paper and held it in front of Niu's face. "The names on this list are of the corrupted officials that had a hand in the rise of Nurse Bethany. We are going to either deliver them to the prison, or kill them on the spot. I _will_ receive justice for my parents, for Raven's parents, for _Raven._ Talk of my recovery? This _is_ my recovery! You will _not_ foul it up!" He stood straight and glared at the others in the room, slashing his hands through the air, "_None_ of you will fuck it up!" His shout echoed through the room, shaking the very foundation. "If you don't want to do it my way, then you can take your sorry asses back to the station for all I care! I did not sanction the prison riots, I did not sanction the attack on Sikowitz and his nephew. The people that were killed or arrested in that attack got the justice they deserved for it._ Do I make myself clear?_ Answer me now!"

The people in the room confirmed his position, everyone too afraid to speak against him. Niu coughed once more and growled, glaring up at him. He stared down at the man, ready to throw him out on the streets. The police were offering bounty for each of the escaped prisoners that were Ying, Niu, Lane and Venus. Now that Ying was dead, it was just the other three and still with the bounties over their heads. "You know, I think Jason got transported to the hospital Bethany worked at. The head doctor there…was in charge. Would you like for me to take him out, sir?" Niu started to stand and Sinjin narrowed his glare, still skeptical of Niu's involvement. More now than ever. "The head doctor. I will make him…pay…for putting Bethany in her position." Sinjin stepped closer to Niu and leaned forward, huffing in his face and eyeing him with a high degree of malice.

"I do not want you going _anywhere near_ that hospital, Niu. Andre Harris and Jason Sikowitz are both stationed there, and I do not trust you to go there. If you do, mark my words, I will give you up." He leaned back and paced in front of the people. Lane, Niu and Venus were all in front of the prisoners, lined up side by side. "I'm giving you the possibility of a second chance, but I cannot have these other people here. In my wake, I have murderers…rapists…robbers…there are far too many dishonest people with malicious intent in this place. This is why I didn't sanction Ying's idea of rioting for armies of prisoners."

"Then what will you have us do?" Niu extended his arm to the prisoners and raised an eyebrow, "Return them? As if they were just books checked out from a library?" The prisoners murmured amongst themselves. Some were saying they should simply go back, others were saying they didn't want to. Sinjin didn't trust any of them worth a damn, and especially not the sex offenders in the room. He wanted them away from Lilith more than he wanted the others.

He turned his eyes to Lane and Venus, they glanced at one another then back to him, slowly nodding their heads. He'd spoken with them about this issue before. So far, both of them seemed _remotely_ trustable. As he looked upstairs, Lilith was already gone. "I have my plans. Now here's what's about to happen." Lane and Venus began moving towards the front doors. Niu raised an eyebrow and stared at the two with a sudden spark of curiosity.

"Where are they going?"

"Same place Lilith is. Far from this area." He turned away and began walking up the steps, listening as he heard the front doors click. Lane and Venus locked them from the outside, trapping Niu and the prisoners. Sinjin would be taking his leave from his office window. "An anonymous tip has been sent out to Chief Michael. It has been suggested that this mansion is a meeting point for Niu and the recently escaped prisoners." Niu's eyes began widening and he took an angry step forward, shouting out Sinjin's name. "Now for the prisoners, you have one of two options. Fight the police, or turn yourselves in and work with the police."

"You bastard, Sinjin! Fuck you!" The prisoners slowly looked to Niu, already the gears inside their heads were turning. Niu turned to them and began to slowly back up. "What are you doing? We should attack Sinjin!"

"No time. The police will be here rather shortly. See, there's a bounty for your capture. As I'm sure what your daughter did, the bounty is higher now." Niu slowly glanced back at Sinjin as the prisoners started their advance. "As I'm sure the prisoners understand…helping the police in your capture and turning themselves in will likely help _their_ sentencing. Whereas fighting the police likely will result in something worse. They're prisoners, Niu, but they're not idiots."

After making his way out through the back, he found a car being driven by Lilith. He entered the front passenger side and looked into the rear where Lane and Venus were seated. They drove off to a distant hill overlooking the mansion. Sinjin drew in a deep breath as he saw multiple police cars surrounding the house below. Chief Michael advanced to the front doors with the officers, shot off the lock, and entered with an army of cops.

Whatever was going on down there lasted a good thirty minutes. Surely some of the prisoners fought back, surely Niu tried to fight. It ended with Michael escorting a bloody Mr. Lee from the house. Several prisoners followed in handcuffs. He already was well aware his name would not be dropped by any of them, for the prisoners there were not rats.

"What Ying did was an act of stupidity," Sinjin said with a subtle voice. "I couldn't risk anything more like that with her father, you understand." Lane and Venus nodded while Lilith watched on with a heavy gaze. "Trina informed me that she feels I should not go vigilante, but the way I see it, I have no option."

"Well you do have options," Lane remarked, "But I understand your predicament."

"Right…" He looked straight ahead and sighed as Lilith entered his peripheral vision. She'd been looking rather depressed lately, but unfortunately he could think of no way to make things better for her. It was his own anger that was increasing. "I want to visit my sister and my daughter. I need to see them." Lilith brightened at that, smiling as she started the car up once more. Lane and Venus chuckled as Sinjin leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. He knew she wanted to see her niece, it was only right that they do.

Though, like Trina, he couldn't be away from his sister for too long. He needed her in his life. As they drove off, Sinjin's perfect song came out onto the radio. He hummed silently, tapping his foot to the song _Bad to the Bone_ by George Thorogood.

* * *

Niu's done, and your observations are?


	20. Ghost

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 20 (Ghost)

Raven gasped out as she appeared in a cylindrical tube, her hand rested on her neck and her chest heaved in and out rapidly as her lungs fought for air. Her eyes danced on her unconscious body in the container in the middle of the room. It looked like something out of a Snow White film, the glass coffin. Tears ran down her eyes as she placed her palms on the tube, she could never stay out for too long. Had she been denied the warrior's death? No. Her body had been pieced together by a strange magic, but one that was familiar to her.

She looked over as Alex Russo and Max came rushing into the room, bickering with one another. "I told you not to go into that prison!" Alex exclaimed, scratching her hair. "I should have every right to let Justin know what happened." Justin was their older brother, but he wasn't down here. He was busy up in New York where they lived, the situation with them was tense. When they chose her, she didn't _want_ the deal they were offering, but when they explained what the price was, she had no choice but to accept.

They came to LA months ago, visiting and wanting to see what the actors and singers were like down here. When they attempted a spell, it tore their mother and father apart from their bodies. It was an accident, and there was only one way to save their parents. Yet, they had a deadline, and were still working on this deadline. If they didn't finish it before the end of _June_, their parents would be lost forever. "Please don't tell Justin," Max begged, "I didn't know a riot was going to break out."

"It wasn't the _riot_ that was the problem. You used magic in the real world! Frightened or not, you basically just revealed magic to humans! You're only lucky that Crumbs decided against taking away our magic, only because of what we have to do…" Raven moved her gaze from them, back to her body. She had the opportunity to be flesh again, and if she had to help these wizards save their parents to do it, then she would. Her initial goal was _that_, but at the same time, she_ wanted_ to be alive. She wanted to be with Sinjin again, to hug her sister, to grow up with her baby. Unfortunately, Alex and Max made the mistake of choosing the ghost with one of the more difficult tasks at hand.

The deal was simple: To save their parents, they must help a ghost return to their body for a second chance at life. Raven happened to pass the day they made their fatal mistake, so she was the first spirit they came across. The difficult part of this task? Aside from using their magic to retrieve all parts of her body and piece them together? They had to help the ghost save the person they cared most about, so essentially Raven had to be a conscience to Sinjin. She had to make him turn from this angry path he was on, and to get him to accept that recovery was moving on from the past and letting go.

Sinjin was so set on his war, he'd always been a blockhead. If she failed to change him, to save him, then that meant the Russo wizards would fail to save their parents. If she saved him and returned to her body for a second chance, then the Russo parents would be restored to their bodies. Raven couldn't turn them down. It would have been dishonorable to do so.

The trick to what she was doing was she could appear to him, or anyone she so chose to, and she could opt to appear as transparent or opaque. She had some ghostly powers, as seen before when she pushed Ying from the room and mind-controlled Lilith into leaving the room. When she kissed Sinjin, it was from the yearning in her heart.

She closed her fingers, still studying the preserved body in the coffin. This was all somewhat of a nightmare to her, but _maybe_ it could become a dream. "Why does this seem like a messed up version of the movie Ghost?" She shook her head and looked over to the bickering siblings. They had their wands out and were swinging them in the air. Fearful they might mess something _else_ up, she banged her palms on the glass and called out. "Stop! Stop before you wreck something!" The two froze and glanced over at her for a minute before pushing their wands back into their pockets. "Thank you…"

This tube she was in was the one thing that helped replenish her spirit. When out, she would lose energy and have to recharge to keep from vanishing completely. Therefore, she would have to transport back. Max and Alex walked over to her and looked over at the body in the coffin. There were some scars, but nothing major. They'd done their best efforts to try and maintain its original form. "Did you manage to get him to at least change his ways yet, Raven?" Raven closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. She saw her words were affecting Sinjin, but he still hadn't shaken from his path.

"It's hard, it's really hard. I think I have to try to get someone else to get through to him. He's already talked with Trina, so she's trying…"

"Do you want to get to her? Maybe she can get through to him. Or even Lilith?"

"Lilith's too depressed right now, I don't want to startle her." Alex and Max nodded their heads and started moving over to the coffin. "You think Sinjin's taking my appearances difficult, imagine _Lilith_. Right now, Sinjin doesn't even know _what_ to think. I uh…I also kind of got a little anxious and, well, uh…" She chuckled nervously as the two raised their eyebrows to her. "I started to make out with him."

"What!" Alex threw her hand to her head as her jaw dropped. "You…I didn't even know a ghost could do that."

"Me either…Anyway, I want to see my daughter."

"Okay."

"Two stops to make."

"Got it…" Raven closed her eyes and started to relax as her body began to tremble. She breathed out, listening to Alex's spell. Her spirit evaporated and soon she found herself in a nursery room with a small wooden crib. Her breath hitched in her throat as she gazed down at the small baby asleep in the crib.

"Tiffany…" She made her way towards her daughter, tears welled up in her eyes as she reached in and traced her finger along the baby's cheek. "Momma's here baby. Momma's always going to be with you…even if your father isn't here…at least you have your Aunt. My precious angel." She bent over and kissed her child's forehead. The infant stirred in her sleep, her lips bumped together and her fingers curled.

Raven leaned up, sniffing as she moved her hand to her forehead. How could this happen? How could she let this happen? She should have ran when she had the chance. She should have taken Lilith, taken Sinjin, taken her baby and ran for their lives.

The doorknob rattled and Raven gasped out, ducking behind a small reclining chair. She forgot for the moment that nobody could actually see her. She moved her hand over her mouth as Sinjin walked in with Courtney and Lilith. He looked so depressed, so guilt ridden. She reached out to him, then pulled her hand back as he reached into the crib. _"Has he changed his mind? He's come to visit his daughter, his sister. He must be thinking about it…"_ She saw the tears leaving his eyes as he cradled Tiffany close to his chest.

"I want to be here," Sinjin said quietly to his sister, "Here with you and Tiffany. God knows I do."

"So why aren't you?" Courtney asked. "I miss you brother…It's really hard to get by day to day without you."

"I know, but I have things that I have to do." Raven closed her eyes and put her hand over her chest. How was she supposed to convince him to make a change? She couldn't simply come out and tell him, she was already doing that. Could she tell him she had an opportunity to return to her body?

No. She wanted to protect him. If he were to get his hopes up like that, what would it solve? He needed to learn to make a change in his life on his own. She stepped out from behind the recliner. Her cheeks were drenched with her tears. She put her hand to his back and wept for him, for their baby.

"I still love you…Sinjin…revenge like this won't save you. It will destroy you, it will destroy the people you love. It's already hurt someone. That woman went after Jason Sikowitz and his uncle. Your sister, our daughter, they're not safe." She looked to the window of the nursery, staring at the car outside. Her heart broke as she spotted Lane and Venus in the back seat. "Those two…please watch them. I don't trust them anymore than I would trust a wasp around our daughter."

With that, she closed her eyes and transported away. Where she arrived next was the police academy where Chief Michael and Trina were walking. She appeared before them in a long corridor. They both saw her, as she wanted. Their eyes widened as she waved. "Hi. Whatever you do, don't faint. I need to talk to you…"

Explanation took a little while. The trio moved to a quiet room so no one would think they were crazy for talking to a ghost. "You know what you're asking?" Trina raised an eyebrow and crossed her legs, humming silently. "You're asking us to let him go."

"I'm asking you to help save him. He's not of the right mind right now. He's not a criminal. He's doing all of this because he doesn't know _how_ to do anything else."

"We're already aware of the corrupt officials," Michael stated while tapping his fingertips together, "We're making plans on arresting and interrogating each, but there is only so much that we can do. The doctors on the list that ignored the reports, we can investigate and possibly charge for ignoring such documentation and concerns."

"Well do whatever you have to do about those people. I couldn't care less. I want my baby to have her father. At the very least, if this whole thing with the Russo family doesn't work out…maybe they could have their father. I need him to see that he doesn't have to do this." Trina shifted in her seat and changed her legs that she had folded. She took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair, tapping her finger on her temple.

"We'll do what we can do. I don't know that I can do anything, because talking to him obviously requires contact, and clearly he's elusive."

"Chief Michael? You said you just arrested Niu at the mansion?"

"We're processing him now as well as the other prisoners."

"Sinjin's staying there. Don't arrest him, _please_. He's not of the right mindset, this isn't something he would normally do. You have to understand." Trina closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.

"I don't like this. Maybe if we can convince him to leave LA with his sister and his daughter…Don't worry Raven, we'll figure something out. You know, I have a lot of other stuff on my plate right now. Taking care of my sister and her friends…it isn't easy."

"I know it isn't."

"Thank you though, you and your sister didn't do anything to Beck. I think we all appreciate that." Raven smiled and swiftly nodded her head, Beck was a decent guest. They didn't want to cause him too much extra trauma at the time, he had enough tragedy as it was. "So…assuming we can get Sinjin to change, you can possibly return to your body?"

"Yeah, and that will save the Russo's parents."

"Well then, we hope for the best."

"Thank you…" With that being said, they made their final goodbyes and Raven returned to the cylindrical tube. Hopefully she made an impact. Alex and Max looked a bit drained, it took a bit of their energy to keep her out of that tube She smiled at them and closed her eyes. "I'm hoping this works." Max chuckled nervously and spoke with a heavy sigh.

"Trust me, so do we."

* * *

Hm thoughts


	21. Keeping Strong

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 21 (Keeping Strong)

Steadily recovering from the shock of having seen a ghost, Trina had to think of how she could possibly save Sinjin and Lilith. She had the names of all those people on the list, so now it was up to her to take them all into custody. She thought it might have been best to convince Sinjin that killing all those people in revenge wouldn't make him a better person. He would still feel that same emptiness she would have if she killed out of revenge without rescuing her sister.

Of course, she couldn't forget that she was also helping all Tori's friends recover, but like her own friends were telling her, it was imperative that she let herself recover too. _"I don't have time to rest easy though."_ Michael wanted her to take some time off when Jason was hospitalized, but she was a busy woman, there was no time for her to stop. She wanted to ensure her sister, as well as her sister's friends got the life they wanted, but also to ensure that LA would be a safe place.

_"I may not be able to convince Sinjin directly that he needs to shape himself up, but maybe I can get through to Lilith. He needs to know the path he's on only leads to more pain." _She gripped the hands of the steering wheel, she was driving down the freeway with no place to go, she merely wanted to drive and think. Her cell flashed from the center console and her eyes drifted down towards it, it was a 911 text from Jade. While she hated to talk on the phone while driving, she had a sensation that she needed to answer the phone. She answered and narrowed her eyes onto the cars in front of her. "Jade? Is everything okay?"

"No! Everything is _not_ okay!" Her voice was frantic. Trina could hear the fear in the girl's voice, it concerned her greatly. "I'm looking everywhere, but I can't find him Trina. No one knows where he is! Trina, everything's not okay!" She tapped her fingernails on the steering wheel as she attempted to change into the left hand lane.

"Okay, just relax. Take a deep breath and talk slowly. What's going on? Who are you looking for?" Jade took her advice and took a couple deep breaths before replying in a calm, but still frenzied tone.

"It's Beck. He went out for a drive but nobody can contact him."

"Beck?" Beck was missing? She moved the phone from her ear, sighing heavily as she peered down the road, she was going to have to call him or at least figure out where the hell he was going. "Did he tell anyone where he was headed, by any chance?"

"His mom said he was going to this spot he used to like to go to on the Golden State Freeway. I-5, right? He used to always drive to this part that overlooked the Los Angeles River." Trina's eyebrows rose sharply, she knew where this was, she was headed in the same direction. Just as Jade said that, she saw a parked car in the distance. There was a boy that looked remarkably like Beck standing on the concrete edge. Her heart stopped and her foot slammed the gas.

"I think I found him. I'll call you back in a minute, Jade."

"Trina?" She hung the phone up and sped into the shoulder, gritting her teeth as she watched Beck eye the river below.

"Don't do this, Beck…" She parked behind his car and opened the door, starting to shout out to him just as he stepped off. "No!" Her heart slammed against her chest as adrenaline shot through her veins. Thinking fast, she ran to where he jumped and peered down, it was not too far of a drop, survivable at best. However, if Beck hit any of the rocks below, he would drown. "Beck! Damn it!" She whipped out her phone and dialed Michael's number. Once he answered, she spoke fast. "Mike, I need some units at the Los Angeles River beneath Interstate Five, just outside Egret Park and Riverside Drive. We have a jumper."

"Shit! On my way, Trina."

"I'm going in."

"What?!"

"You heard me, Mike." She ran back to her car and threw her phone inside before rushing to the concrete wall and leaping over it. She started to yell as the water came rushing towards her. She moved her arms in front of her face and took a deep breath as her body made contact with the water.

Once inside, her eyes flew open, stinging as the murky liquid touched her retinas. She began swimming towards the surface, taking a deep breath once she resurfaced. Fortunately she'd not hit any of the rocks behind her. She could see Beck's head bobbing in and under the water several feet away. "Beck, damn it! Hold on!" She pushed herself forward, taking strong strides towards him.

Once she reached him, she put her arm around him and held him above the surface. He'd smacked his head on something, blood was trickling down his forehead. "I didn't save your life so you could die…" She clenched her jaw and started swimming against the water, kicking her feet and swinging her only free arm as she fought for the shore.

Trina breathed in some water, swallowing it down and grimacing. After making it to shore, she felt several hands grabbing her and pulling her out of the water with Beck. She checked his pulse and growled when she looked to his chest and saw he was not breathing. Immediately she began administering CPR, remembering what she was learning in her first aid classes. "Stay with me damn it. Don't you die on me!"

_Two rescue breaths, then the chest compressions_. She locked her fingers together and started the chest compressions, counting as high as she needed to go before administering the rescue breaths. _Check for signs of life routinely_. After several tries, Beck's chest popped up and water spilled from his mouth. He coughed and gazed up at her, tears drenched his face.

"Trina? Why?"

"We will talk once you're in the hospital." She stood up and put her hand to her forehead, sighing as Michael walked over to her. "We're keeping him in observation, Mike. We have to make sure he's safe. All of them are taking this hard." Were they all taking this 'path'? They could fight, they didn't need to do this to themselves. She breathed in and watched the paramedics carry Beck away.

At the hospital, Trina waited in his room for Jade and his family. She didn't know what to tell them, other than the truth, and that was almost too unbearable for them to hear. Beck was gazing blankly at the ceiling. He had a bandage over his eyebrow and a forlorn expression on his face. "I'm not going to sit here and say you were stupid for doing that," Trina said in a slow voice, "I can understand how you'd feel so much pain that you think that's the only choice…but it's not."

"Trina…" His voice was hoarse. His hands clasped the bed sheet and his eye shut. "My dreams are gone, I have nothing anymore. I am nothing. I used to be so strong, I used to be everything, but now…now the only reason people look at me is pity. I'm not like you, Trina." She scoffed and shook her head. Her arms crossed and her right leg was over her left. "I'm not strong, I'm not capable of going on…I want to, but what can I do? Where can I go? I'm weak, I'm hurt, I'm wounded…"

"And you think everything's perfect for me?" Beck looked over at her. She met his gaze and breathed in sharply. "Beck, my boyfriend almost _died_. My _sister_ almost died several months ago. I'm sure you remember that. She tried to down several pills and I almost lost her again. Mom and Dad are gone…you think I don't have it rough, Beck? I have it rougher than anyone thinks I do. I understand that because of the loss of your eye, you can't go into the military and do what you wanted, but that doesn't mean the end of your dreams, the end of your life. There's more out there, and you do have people who love you genuinely. Jade loves you, she _needs_ you. You know she called me in a frenzy trying to figure out where you were?"

"I guess…"

"No, there is no _guess_!" Trina stood from her chair and turned to him. A crease stretched over her forehead as a wrinkle popped up between her eyebrows. "Do I need to remind you what Jade went through? What _everyone_ went through? You happened to be the one that got taken by the _good_ people mixed in with the bad. Now I may not know what your mental state of mind is right now, but I can guarantee you, you're not the only one going through hell."

"I just…I didn't want to be a burden to anyone."

"Who the hell said you were a burden? Tell me. Tell me and I'll have a talk with this person." Beck chuckled under his breath and turned his eyes away.

"You're talking to him."

"You _honestly _think you're a burden, Beck?" His gaze dropped for a second. Trina sighed and knelt beside the bed, folding her arms on the edge. "Beck, look, you're far from being a burden to _anyone_. Times are hard, and everyone is doing their best to remain afloat."

"I used to be the strong one, I used to be the voice of reason…and now, now that seems to be Cat. How does that make any sense?"

"She's going through as much pain, but someone has to try to keep their head up. I _know_ you're hurting, Beck…but you can beat this, you just have to fight."

"I'm _sick_ of fighting, Trina. I'm tired of it! I just want all this shit to stop!" His body trembled and a tear fell down his cheek. She frowned and bowed her head as he wept. "Every _day_ I sit…I remember that fight, how Andre and I failed. We tried _so hard_ to get those gang members out, but we failed. Mr. and Mrs. Vega tried to protect us too, they killed them…they killed them!"

"It wasn't your fault, Beck." Trina pat his wrist. She inhaled and waited for him to meet her gaze. "It was never your fault, none of you are at fault. Right now, though, Jade needs you and your parents need you. The only way you can recover is to look over them, take care of them."

"But what if I can't? What if I can't protect _any _of them."

"You _can_, just by being there. Beck, do you realize how much pain everyone would be in if you succeeded in ending your life? Not just Jade or your parents, but everyone else. All your friends are struggling so hard to push forward through this hell and misery they're going through, if one of you ends your own life, what does that tell the others?" From the sadness in his gaze, she could tell she was reaching him somehow. He relaxed his hands and sighed, raising a hand to sweep away one of his tears.

"But is there really hope, Trina? I mean…what can really be done?"

"There is hope, as small as it may be, it is there. You'll see it soon, I promise you, but you have to try. Be strong, for yourself and for the others. For your family as well, be strong."

He looked back up to her, his lips thinned and his brow furrowed. "Y-You said you were going through hell too? You never…you never talk about it."

"I know," she put her hand over her aching chest and slowly rose up, "Maybe I'm guilty of that. Christy and Jason tell me I should be more open to discuss what I'm going through, but I guess I just get to where I feel I have to be the strong one. It is never good to hide how things are affecting you…you know, I almost lost it when I went into that house and found Jason so close to death." Beck frowned, his eyebrows rose high. Her breath caught in her throat and she cleared it away. "I didn't know what I was going to do, and I almost murdered his attacker…"

"Wouldn't it have been self defense?"

"She was on the ground begging for mercy. The law wouldn't have looked at that as self defense."

"Why not?" She huffed loudly and took a seat, waiting as Beck eyed her eagerly. "I mean, she was attacking Jason, she was attacking you…"

"Yes, but…" She pat her knees and pulled her lips back into a tight frown. "I lost it and beat her down, then held my gun to her face as she begged for her life."

"I still say self defense."

"Not that simple in legal terms. Beck, if someone holds a gun to your face and you grab a knife to defend yourself, it's self defense. Now if that person lowers their weapon and stops, then asks for mercy, but you stab them anyway, it is no longer considered self defense. It is considered murder because _they_ ceased their attack."

"Oh…"

"I would have had that hanging over my head, and it would not have been pretty."

"Who would attack him, though? I thought Bethany was…"

"She's gone, yes, but I guess it didn't end with her. Ying was released from prison, she went after Jason. She won't be an issue anymore, but…but yeah it affected me. I can't stand losing anyone else I love. My dad, I was his world, and he was mine…now that he's gone, I sometimes think I failed him."

"But you _didn't_…"

"I know." Trina closed her eyes and gave off a half smile, tearfully shaking her head. "I didn't fail him because he would have wanted me to save Tori, to save you guys, and that's what I did. My parents may be gone, but nobody's ever going to hurt you or Tori ever again…so no, I didn't fail dad. You didn't fail anyone either, Beck."

"I feel like I did…" Beck closed his eyes and trembled for a second. Trina raised an eyebrow as he shook his head. "When we were there…Andre, Robbie and I were trying our best to fight off the gang." Her breath hitched as Beck rolled his head to the side. "We held them off as long as possible. One of the men had a gun at Tori, point blank, and I was closest to her…So I ran and pushed her aside, the bullet struck me instead." He pointed to his patch. Trina was startled by this revelation, but by that same regard, she was pleased. "I collapsed, thinking I was dead…After that, I think Andre collapsed beside me somewhere. I blacked out, next thing I remember, I was in some room with a potato sack over my head."

"Beck. Tori's alive. She could have been killed if you hadn't pushed her out of the way, right?" Beck lifted his head and slowly nodded, weeping softly as the memory clearly kept playing over in his mind. "Then, remember that the next time you start to tell yourself that you failed anyone. Tori is _alive_ because of you."

"She's alive because Cat told you she was…"

"Beck, stop it." He frowned and turned to her, whimpering once. Trina gave him a reassuring smile and pat his forearm. "If you hadn't pushed Tori out of the way, she could have been killed. Knowing how crazy Bethany was, if Tori was killed, I think the woman would have killed everyone….That being said, even if she didn't, Cat wouldn't have been telling me anything about Tori if she were really gone. I would have lost everyone…and chances are likely Bethany wouldn't have had any reason for keeping any of you guys alive. In pushing Tori out of the way, Beck, you saved everyone. Whether or not you realize it, you saved everybody."

"I…never really looked at it that way…" The door opened and Jade stepped in with Beck's parents, all three in tears. Beck looked over at them and Tori rose to her feet.

"Now you're the one keeping your girlfriend and your parents on their feet. They need you more than anyone…" Jade ran for Beck, taking him in her arms and weeping over his shoulder. His parents moved to his bedside.

Taking a deep breath, Trina stepped out of the room to give them some privacy. She dusted herself off and hummed as she eyed Michael down the hallway. He moved over to her and leaned against the wall. "I guess while we're here, we may as well pull that doctor in. I do have a warrant for his arrest…"

"Really?"

"Yes. Funny, not only did he essentially shred the reports sent in about Bethany, he was accused of medical malpractice on a couple occasions." She rolled her eyes and groaned as Michael pushed himself from the wall and started walking down the hall. "How's Beckett doing?"

"He'll be all right, I think. Still, I think he should be kept under observation for a little bit."

"Fair enough, we'll have to talk with the hospital staff about that. Of course, the whole staff is about to come under scrutiny."

"Why?"

"Because the doctor we're about to investigate is the head doctor in charge of the hospital…"

"Shit."

* * *

And of course I updated before editing this, hah. Well let me know your thoughts of the chapter


	22. Justice

Finding Normalcy

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 22 (Justice)

Trina followed Michael into the office of Dr. Alec Baker, they closed the door behind them and saw the middle aged doctor sitting at his desk. He had a slightly graying goatee with a full head of black hair and a grey streak on the right side part. He looked at the duo with a frown, as though he knew what was coming. Michael closed his eyes and crossed his arms. "Dr. Baker, we have a warrant for your arrest. If you will come with us, we will try our best not to make a scene…"

"I won't resist." Dr. Baker rose to his feet. His eyes locked with Michael's. "Would you explain to me what this is for?"

"Deliberate indifference."Deliberate indifference in legal terms was to say a person was made notified of danger and chose to ignore a situation. Though for this doctor, he may be in greater trouble because not only did he opt to ignore, he opted to destroy a lot of the records. "I believe you have heard of Bethany Lucas." The man's expression shifted to recognition and sorrow. "We have received an anonymous tip that states you singlehandedly ignored all reports against her when she worked under your practice."

"I see…I know my rights then." Trina heard a clattering noise towards the right and looked over to a large wooden cabinet. She raised an eyebrow as the men followed her gaze. "That is my office cabinet, I put my coats and whatnot in there." As the doctor walked over to Michael, Trina eyed the cabinet with a suspicious hunch. She signaled Michael to go ahead without her. Once the men were gone, she opened the door and _Lilith_ fell from the cabinet. She looked up at Trina and gasped.

"Don't move, Lilith." Lilith winced as Trina turned her gaze to the cabinet. Two hangers had fallen off the rack, an umbrella had fallen out with Lilith, implying that had been knocked over as well. "Not so quiet when you're sneaking around, are you? What were you doing inside there?"

"Getting information…" Trina sighed and pulled the girl to her feet. She threw her handcuffs onto Lilith's wrists. Lilith gasped out and looked over her shoulder. "Am I under arrest?" Her eyes gazed mournfully as Trina shook her head.

"No, but I don't want you running off on me." Trina pulled Lilith to the Doctor's chair and sat her down. "I know you're innocent, Lilith." The girl looked up at her with a wide-eyed, astonished gaze. "First off, gathering information on Dr. Baker better be _all_ you were doing. Killing him won't bring Raven back, Lilith. Trying to get revenge is not going to solve your problems…let Michael and I work with that."

"What makes you think that's what we're trying to do?"

"Trust me, I wanted to do the same thing. I know it's easy to blame everyone involved in Bethany's life for her rise to power, but killing them won't make the pain any better. Do you understand that? It won't. If I killed Ying that day…I wouldn't feel good for it. I would have felt like shit afterwards. You and Sinjin have a chance to move on with your lives. I suggest you take it."

"Why?"

"Because you _have_ a future. There is an option, a chance, and if you take that chance…you can have a life. If you let Sinjin go through with killing everyone, all he's doing is committing murder and he'll go into prison as will you for being an accomplice. Then who will take care of Courtney? Who will take care of that little baby?"

"You don't understand. Bethany took our lives away! The people on that list, they could have stopped her but they didn't."

"When does it end, Lilith?" Lilith shrank back as Trina sat on the edge of the desk. She folded her arms over and tapped her heel against the wood. "How far will that hunger carry you two? Bethany's mother currently lives in a nursing home, I think she's on life support, weak and dying, somewhere in her nineties. Would you kill her for giving birth to Bethany?"

"What? No! That's absurd…"

"Well essentially you want to get rid of everyone 'responsible' for her, correct?" Lilith frowned and Trina shrugged her arms. "By that regard you should even kill a ninety year old, defenseless woman. The fact of the matter is, half to all the people on this list had no way of _knowing_ that Bethany would do what they did or become who she became…the people on this list saw the signs and chose to ignore them. That is their crime. Justice _will_ come to each and every one of them, but revenge won't solve anything." She watched tears flow from Lilith's eyes, they tore at her heartstrings. She contemplated telling her about Raven, but withheld for now.

"I wish we could just…go back in time and stop Bethany from doing what she did." Lilith bowed her head and began to sob. Trina reached over and undid her cuffs, letting the girl wipe her eyes. "Bethany took _everything_ from us, Trina! She killed mommy and daddy, she killed Sinjin's family, she-"

"Do you want her to win?" Lilith raised an eyebrow and whimpered as Trina looked up to the window. "If you kill the people who chose to ignore the signs, then not only will you be committing murder, you'll be arrested. Likely held in for life, Bethany will have won by you and Sinjin being imprisoned, and she would have destroyed _another_ life."

"W-What?"

"That baby's, Sinjin's sister as well. Bethany will have succeeded in destroying them, even without putting her hand on those two." Lilith gasped out a cry and shook her head. Trina watched solemnly as the girl started to become frantic. "I know it's Sinjin's war, I know he feels this is something he has to do…it's not going to bring Raven back, nor will he feel good afterwards. You want justice, you let Michael and I deal with these people. Justice may be the only thing that saves you two, the only thing that saves your sister…"

"What does Raven have to do with it?"

"Everything, and perhaps more than you even realize. I don't know if you can get through to him, but I need you to try. He needs to realize that the path he's on isn't going to change anything. Is he going after anyone personally?"

"No, he keeps his hands clean, pretty much…It was going to be Lane and Venus."

"I see. Then do me a favor and keep Sinjin out of this. We'll have to take Lane and Venus in, though…"

"I know."

"Work with me, work with Michael, and we'll work with you. We're trying, and we can grant you and Sinjin your freedom…we can offer that salvation if you'll let it happen."

"I'm scared, though…I'll be honest. I come across as tough for a reason, but, I feel like I have to. My sister's gone, I don't have anyone to keep me strong anymore." Trina pat her shoulder and rose up.

"It's okay Lilith, you can get through this. Promise me you'll talk to him."

"Sinjin? I'll try, but it might be better if you talk to him…"

"I can't know where he is."

"I might be able to get him to meet with you." That would work, either way she needed to speak with him. More important things were afoot however, and she needed to meet up with Michael and interrogate this Dr. Baker. "Do you mean it, you think we can be salvaged? I don't know if Sinjin really wants that…"

"We'll see. Michael and I can only offer our hand, it's up to you and Sinjin to take it."

"I understand…thanks…"

In the interrogation room, Trina and Michael sat before Dr. Baker. There was a manila folder in front of Michael, they'd found evidence of reports that had been locked away on the hospital's records. Whenever a complaint was issued, it was saved into the computer and locked down so nobody could destroy them, Dr. Baker only destroyed physical papers.

Trina watched the Doctor as Michael read off personal complaints. The doctor was hunched, his shoulders slouched and his frown lines deepened with his sagging jowls. "Nurse Bethany is constantly checking my child over, only my little girl says she's very uncomfortable." Michael flipped through the pages, shaking his head. "I brought my son to your practice after he'd gotten into a fight at school, your nurse threatened me and accused me of beating my child." Trina narrowed her eyes and Michael glanced over at her. She saw her mom's name on the next report. "Nurse Bethany is uncomfortably close to my little girls, my youngest daughter keeps telling me that your nurse is telling her bad things about me and saying that I am not a good mother. I'm worried that this is impacting my children in a negative sense…please, do something about this behavior! I'm worried that it's growing out of control."

"Dr. Baker, did you ever come to Nurse Bethany about these concerns?" Trina maintained a calm voice, knowing that it was better to remain calm and patient than to grow angry. It hurt that this man was receiving all these complaints, there were dozens in total, and he had done nothing about them. Dr. Baker folded his hands over each other on the table and slowly breathed in.

"No. I did not."

"Why?"

"She was one of our best nurses on the staff, I did not want to believe or even _think_ that she was capable of half the things people were complaining about her. I never fathomed that she would become such a dangerous person…" He bowed his head and leaned forward, sighing heavily. "If I had known what she was going to do, I probably could have acted prior to. I know what it says of a hospital whose lead doctor falsifies and ignores records…I am guilty of turning my nose. I confess to that."

There was a chance he was going to lose his license, and considering he was the head doctor, they needed to know if he had anyone keeping quiet at the hospital. Trina and Michael exchanged concerned glances and both exhaled. "Dr. Baker, did anyone else know of these complaints? Did anyone working at your practice withhold information?"

"Am I being charged for what Nurse Bethany did?"

"You're being charged for the crime that _you_ did," Michael replied, "Destroying and ignoring the reports of many parents. How many children were put in danger by this woman? We've read over these reports, I see complaints going so far as child molestation even. Complaints of this woman operating on a child while under the influence of alcohol, some even claim to have seen her using drugs. Sir, do you realize what is going to happen to your practice?"

"Everybody working for you falls into question," Trina stated, "They must all be investigated and we need to know if Bethany was or wasn't the only one. However you can help us by letting us know anything we need to know."

"I will cooperate…" The officers nodded as the Doctor clenched his eyes shut and closed his hands into fists. "Several nurses and doctors came to me, all concerned with Bethany's behavior. I asked each of them to turn a deaf ear, to be silent." Trina began writing down the names that he was about to give. "Dr. Abigail Tyler, Dr. Tracy Abrams, Nurse Davis Boyle, Nurse Tina Wilson, our medical assistant Jerome Bryant…" In all, he gave at least ten different names, including a hospital custodian who found a dangerous narcotic on Bethany's work desk.

One doctor complained about a child coming to her after being treated by Bethany, the child was having severe reactions to something. When treated, the doctor found someone injected LCD into the child, perhaps in an attempt to numb some sort of pain. The doctor never reported to the police because Dr. Baker asked them to remain silent.

"Thank you for being open with us, Dr. Baker…it may reduce your sentence time, but we still have to investigate all the employees at your hospital." This was going to be a _lot_ of work, but it was a necessary evil. Trina took a deep breath and wiped her brow. She was emotionally drained from all of this. "Trina, are you all right?"

"I think I'm going to have to grab some water, but I'll be fine."

She had to get Sinjin and Lilith to trust her. They would put these people away. Maybe no one _caused_ Bethany to become the way she was, maybe they didn't know it, but they opened the doors and allowed it to happen. Sinjin, Lilith and Raven were right, every one of these people could have put a stop to Bethany _if they acted_, but they didn't.

"Dr. Abigail reported anyway, the incident with the LCD." Trina raised an eyebrow and Michael leaned back, a perplexed expression fell over his face. Trina glanced at the list of people and frowned at the name of a police officer, _Officer Gary Andrews_. He was the man that had been flirting on and off with Holly, granted their mother never acted on his come-ons. "As far as I know, the officer she reported to never filed a case."

"What was the name of this man?"

"Gary Andrews."

Trina winced and closed her hands, sighing heavily as Michael looked over to her. "We'll be paying him a visit then," Trina remarked. She could feel sweat running down the back of her neck, it was as though the temperature in the room had suddenly risen to sweltering degrees. "The investigation continues." Justice would be served.

* * *

This one _is_ being done a little slowly, but it's nearing the end. I'm not sure how many more chapters I'll have left, but keep reading and I'll get it all in for you guys!


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